The Albright Chronicle

First Weekend of October

2009-10-01T21:25:00.003-04:00

The first weekend of October has always been exciting, ever since 2002, when I went into labor on what is known in Louisville as St. James Day, the opening day of the St. James Court Art Fair. Now, this weekend always holds a day off for me, to be able to attend the art fair, Davey's birthday party (this year at Incredible Dave's) and, now, the past 2 years, we have the Light the Night walk on Saturday night. Davey is going with me to the art fair, a little mommy- son bonding.

The best thing about this weekend is that my parents will get to meet Jimmy, my boyfriend (how weird to be 37 and calling someone that), at the movies tomorrow night. My mom has already said, "How could we NOT like him? He makes you so happy!" I love my parents! They are so supportive of me all the time. Isn't it amazing that even as an adult I need my parents' love and validation! I think everyone will like everyone, because I have impeccable taste!

Have a great fall!!

Living in the Spirit

2009-09-13T14:29:00.004-04:00

Not that I want to seem preachy, but a couple things happened this weekend that made me feel even more faithful, or better, faith-filled.

I watched "Fireproof", a movie that I had vaguely heard of about a year ago, but had never seen. I watched the DVD last night and was moved. I think all couples need to see it together and see what conversations it starts and what changes it makes in even the most solid relationships. Don't think you will be seeing an Oscar Award winner, though... Spielberg, it is not. It will go down as one of my "must see" movie recommendations.

Second, at church this morning, the homily was delivered by Deacon Chuck Bent, a man who went to visit David in the hospital and brought tea or coffee each time. He spoke about how he knows God is real because of what he has experienced in his life. All the opportunities that have presented themselves when he needed them, with regard to jobs, moves, guidance. I have felt the same way over the past year, thinking about the people who have come into my life and offered comfort, caring, support, even just some distraction from "real life" for a few hours. I think about how, so many years ago, when I was saying, "Do we HAVE to go to Kentucky, AGAIN?!?!?", my parents bought land here to live on in their retirement. David was being recruited for a job with Tricon in Dallas, only to end up applying for a job in Louisville, so we could be closer to my parents. David deciding after being married to me for 10 years, to go through the RCIA program and become Catholic. Little did we know that, after making it through 2 colon re-sectionings, an ostomy and a great many doctor visits, we were about to face another medical challenge and the toughest fight we could imagine. As we have heard many times, "the Lord works in mysterious ways." I believe the Spirit, God, the Lord, whatever you choose to call it, had a plan for us to be here in Louisville when we faced the diagnosis of lymphoma. We were led to be here, to be surrounded by our community in our jobs, our neighborhood, our church and being close to my parents as Davey, Max and I went into survival mode. We have come through it well, I think, at least so far. We wouldn't be doing as well as we are if it hadn't been for friends, faith and my family! God knew what we needed and, even though I questioned things along the way ("Why did we move away from everything and everyone we know to go to Kentucky for a job?"), moving here was the best thing for us. We, now I, am raising the boys in an environment that is reflective of the priorities David and I had for our children: to be kind, intelligent, caring, respectful, faith-filled young men who are mindful of others' needs, act charitably, think about the impact and influence their words and actions have on others and know how to be unselfish. This community offers the support we need as parents to do all this and more. I am surrounding myself and my boys with other families with the same priorities and I know God had control in making that happen.

I hope I haven't offended anyone, but, if I have, perhaps a little reminder of how the gifts in your life came to be there was just what you needed!

This week, we will be going on an adventure to Florida to celebrate the life of my grandmother, Maxene, with my extended family. Please send some prayer our way. Family gatherings of this size, even without the aspect of losing a loved one, can be interesting, to say the least.

May you let the Spirit work in your life this week... see where it takes YOU!!

A Little Funny Story

2009-08-27T22:51:00.002-04:00

Tena informed me that this story was "blogworthy".... so her is a little humor, 3 year old style.

At the football game last Saturday, our first high school game, Max and Davey were playing "got your nose" and I heard off to my right,

"Got your nose!" (Davey)

"Got YOUR nose." (Max)

"Nope, got yours!" (Davey)

"Got your penis!" (Max)

This made for one embarrassed Mommy! But, also for a few laughs!

A Very Fun and Full Weekend...

2009-08-23T21:45:00.002-04:00

Whew, we had a very busy weekend! The weather was pretty good, not humid and not hot. We spent time with friends, both new and old. We have so many awesomely supportive friends, many of whom asked for updates on our "goings on" this weekend through the many technologies available nowadays.

That being said, I had reached a point where I had to upgrade my cell plan to include texting back in May, and now have increased it to 1500 per month. I am becoming quite a fan of texting!! I know, I know, "Welcome to 2009, Jen!"

One of the highlights of our weekend was the first high school football game last night. We went to see North Oldham High play Moore High. We stayed for the first 3 quarters and Max got very wiggly and Davey got too bored. It was a fun experience even though it had been drizzling earlier and the bleachers were wet.

Today, after church, we went to lunch with a group of friends we typically join for lunch on Sunday. Then the boys wanted to go to the playground, then off to the grocery store, then home for some down time. Tonight, we took a picnic out to an area of green space in Anchorage (part of Louisville, for those who are unfamiliar) to hear a band that 3 friends from church are members of. They are called DNR. Two of the members are a couple who are both physicians, a cardiologist and a doctor of integrated medicine/ hormone therapy. I doesn't seem fair that they can be nice, musically talented AND doctors! They play music from the 190s through the 1990s, with the very occasional song from this millennium. Our picnic consisted of crab cake sandwiches, strawberries, potato chips and drinks. It was a fantastic evening.

This week holds the St. Margaret Mary Open House, my book group is meeting for dinner and, I hope, a couple of trips to the gym for me, since I found myself too busy last week to go at all!

Wishing my "bleaders" (that's Blog Readers, according to Julie Powell, author of Julie and Julia) an excellent week!

A Few Random Things....

2009-08-17T21:53:00.003-04:00

Davey spent the last week of summer with my parents at Camp Googey and DadDad. He learned how to swim without a lifevest or floaties. I told him in June that he needed to either learn to swim or ride a 2 wheeler without training wheels before the end of summer. So, he did it!! He is so excited and proud of himself!

You may remember that Mary, David's sister, had a little girl at 28 weeks. Things seem to be going well, but please keep them both in your prayers.

I also ask for your prayers for my friend, Tena, and her family. Back in early June, her dad was diagnosed with very aggressive cancer and he has been in and out of the hospital fighting very hard. As of today, he is off the ventilator and feisty as ever.

My nephew, J.T., started kindergarten yesterday. He had a great day and wants to go back.

We went to "Meet the Teacher" day on Monday. Davey is excited about being a first grader and got the teacher he wanted. Tomorrow is the big day. I am ready for us all to be back on a schedule.

We will have to be making another (quick) trip to Florida next month for my grandmother's Celebration of Life. She was a really neat lady, as any of you all who met her will attest to. She lived life to the fullest and completed everything on her "bucket list". I hope to be able to say that when my time comes. She had her memorial service all planned out and all we have to do is make it happen, complete with jazz band on the catamaran playing the songs she chose. We will have the chance to see a lot of family that we don't see very often (some I saw last August, here in Louisville). Another chance for my boys to get to see their favorite cousin, J.T.

Every day, I am reminded of 2 things my grandmother tried to instill in me in the past couple years: "Happiness is an inside job." and "We plan, God laughs." Too true! We may THINK we are in control, and then something happens to remind us otherwise!

Well, I should get to bed, since tomorrow is a big day! Looking forward to a GREAT weekend!!

A Happy New Year... of sorts

2009-08-10T21:38:00.002-04:00

I feel like I braced myself for a big storm and there was just a few days of heavy rain, some showers and some days of drizzle. Now that I am on the other side of the Anniversary, I can say that it was not as bad as I expected and that this August is MUCH better than last.

My parents hosted a party for many of our most supportive friends. It was fun to see so many from all areas of our lives, school, church, work, neighborhood, to name a few. We celebrated, cried, laughed and swapped David stories. Again, we are so fortunate!

I went back to work for good this morning. I have worked a total of 11 days during the summer, doing transition and First Steps meetings, attending and presenting professional development sessions... It was great to see some of my favorite coworkers, catch up from the summer, have lunch together and ease into the new school year. I will have 4 teachers that I haven't worked with before and 4 that I worked with in the past. I already know some of the kiddos on my caseload, so that makes prepping for the new year a little easier.

Davey is again at Camp Googey and DadDad. So far, they have harvested and eaten fresh produce from my dad's garden, gone swimming and done some puzzles. I can't wait to hear tomorrow about the next adventures! Weeks like this allow Max and I to have time that we don't usually have with just the 2 of us. Usually, it is Davey that I get one on one time with since he is up later. I have enjoyed getting to spend quality time with him, letting him be the center of my attention.

I am looking forward to lots of exciting things to come in the next year. I am optimistic and think there are a lot of possibilities out there. Davey and I have speculated a little in the past week or so about the new school year... new friends, new teacher, harder work, etc. Not only true in the world of first grade, but also in the real world, too.

Please continue to pray for my friend Tena and her family as they battle her dad's cancer and also for David's sister, Mary, who had a little girl a couple weeks ago- 12 weeks premature.

Have a fantastic week!!!

2009-07-30T21:59:00.001-04:00

I got an email today from a dear friend with this in it. It is worth sharing!

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy.
They just promised it would be worth it."

You Learn Something New (about yourself) Every Day!

2009-07-30T17:59:00.002-04:00

Today was a day in which I learned more about myself and about this grief process. I had an experience that showed me where I am in the process. In some ways, I am farther along than I thought, and in others, not as far as I would like to be. Today, I was struck hard by how much my life has changed since a couple years ago and how much I miss David. I realize nothing will bring him back and no one will ever replace him. Knowing this in my head for nearly 12 months and being struck so hard on a purely emotional level today, are entirely different things. I know the time will come when there is another person in my life, but I don't know that I am quite ready for it now.

I have learned there are some of the same things that I will look for that I did before... 15 years ago when I first started dating David, and some things that are different now in my circumstances which necessitate some different preferred characteristics. I will always love David and that will be intimidating to any potential suitor, I imagine. There is a huge difference between someone who is divorced who feels some control, perhaps, over their change in marital status and someone who has been widowed, who feels that the entire situation is and was completely beyond their control. Both people feel loss and grief, but the situations are a little different.

Right now, as the boys and I approach not only what would have been David's and my 13th anniversary on Monday, but also the first anniversary of his death, I again feel so amazed by the people who are still at our sides, grieving right with us. There are friends, as I expected, who have come and gone over the year and some who have never wavered in their support. I am so grateful and I am so thrilled to have all of our friends and family support us in so many ways.

I had a couple friends say to me today how strong and tough I have been and how proud they are of me. I can never hear this enough, it seems, because someone says it to me just at a time when I am doubting myself. I have Anne Murray's song, "I Am Woman" on my Ipod, just so I can sing (loudly) to it whenever I need a little boost. (Here is a little secret of mine: I used to stand on the hearth as a kid, hairbrush in hand, and sing that song at the top of my lungs. Little did I know what that song would come to mean to me as an adult!)

Never more than today have I felt that the boys and I can handle whatever the coming years will bring, whether we face them alone or with another person in our family.

Thanks again for the love and prayers! Please take a moment on August 9 to give thanks that we had David in our lives. I know I will!

So This Is Summer

2009-07-25T23:04:00.002-04:00

Well, we have had some blissfully mild days this past week or so. I had the A/C of for about 5 days straight, my electric bill will love me for it. Is has been nice to sleep with the windows open and hear the night noises.

I worked, doing First Steps (Kentucky's early intervention program for kids aged birth to 3 years with disabilities) meetings Monday and Friday and meeting on Tuesday and Thursday to place kids in the JCPS preschool program. I enjoyed seeing some of my work buddies and catching up on each others busy summers. I filled them in on the drama and excitement that seems to be my life lately. (Among other things, my grandmother's death so soon after diagnosis.) My mom and dad were with her for the week before she died (they left Wednesday and she died Thursday morning about 3:15). She was ready to go, it seems, and she had more than completed her "bucket list". She had an amazing life and I have very fond memories of times spent with her.

We have just about 3 weeks left before I go back to work. About this time every summer, I look back on things we did and I am so glad that this summer, which could have been very difficult and awful, has been a good summer. I know it isn't over and we haven't reached the day that could be the hardest of all, but I have been so surrounded by such love and support and kept busy enough, that we are all doing pretty well. We have been on a couple trips, been to the pool a lot, had many opportunities to socialize with and get to know even better some friends from school, church and our awesome neighborhood.

Davey spent the week with my mom and dad, since I was working so much. He will do the same between when I go back to work and when school starts for him. He had a lot of fun seeing 2 plays ("Schoolhouse Rock" and "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"), made a boat out of recyclables, made many neat things (pins, magnets, etc.) from Super Sculpy clay and helped harvest veggies (and eat them) from DadDad's garden. It was nice to get time with only Max, since usually I get one on one time with Davey either when Max is at school or after Max goes to sleep. We played a lot of cars, trains and CandyLand and read some good bedtime stories. Davey called and read bedtime stories to me over the phone each night. It was so sweet! He missed us, especially his little brother, but within the first hour after he arrived home, the main interest was the Wii.

Next week, we will spend more time with friends, I will work one day and we may get to the YMCA water park. Since last time we went (last summer), Davey has practiced swimming (he still keeps his face out of the water, but he can actually move forward!) and we have been to Great Wolf Lodge twice, so I think we will have more fun that we had last summer.

I am still so grateful for all the friends who have had the opportunity to help me negotiate all the stuff that goes with widowhood, single parenthood and grief. To all of you, I owe you BIG TIME!!! I value your advice and unwavering support!

----------------------------------
"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us."
- Epicurus -Greek philosopher

"Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together"
- Woodrow Wilson

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with."
- Mark Twain

"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light."
- Helen Keller

Here We Go Again...

2009-07-12T22:46:00.003-04:00

We had both good and bad this week...

GOOD-
We went to Chicago with Sherri and J.T. from Wednesday to Friday. We left after Davey's golf clinic Wed. morning and drove to The Palmer House (what a neat, historic hotel- I highly recommend using Hotwire to find a hotel anytime you are going on a trip. You can request only 4 and 5 star hotels in a certain area of the city and a great price!). We went to a little place close to the hotel for Chicago-style pizza and then back to the hotel for a restful night. The next morning, we got up and had McDonalds for breakfast (the boys didn't really know much about it, since we only go there about 3 times a year) and then on to the Museum of Science and Industry via bus. It was packed, but our driver was so great- awesome attitude! We got there a little after our ticketed time, but that was just fine. We saw all the Harry Potter "stuff"- Davey and Max even recognized a bit, since J.T. had introduced them to the HP phenomenon on the drive up, with help from a showing of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in the car. After the exhibit, we decided we should see what else there was there. We "drove" a combine, learned about cow milking and birthing (eeww!) and made a personalized gyroscope in the ToyMaker 3000 exhibit (http://www.msichicago.org/whats-here/exhibits/toymaker/). When we were suitably exhausted (Max fell asleep while we waited for the bus back to the hotel), we went back and regrouped enough to figure out how best to get to Navy Pier. Unfortunately, the gentleman giving directions was a bit off on how long it takes to go via subway. The 3 boys really wanted to go on the subway, so, being loving Mommies, we caved. It took an hour to get to Navy Pier because you ride 2 stops and then walk about 12 blocks. Oh, well, we ate a yummo dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. and then went to ride the Ferris wheel. It was neat to be able to share stories with the boys about David's and my trip to Chicago in 2006 for our 10th anniversary. They all enjoyed the Ferris wheel- Davey says it was the best part of the trip. Back to the hotel (via bus, this time. Same price as the subway, but took us from the pier to 1/2 block from the hotel. A MUCH better method!) Quick bath, to bed and ready for the next morning. Breakfast at Corner Cafe- delish summer fruit and nut oatmeal, spectacular french toast, happy boys! Then check out of the hotel and drive to the Shedd Aquarium. Another great experience! They just reopened the Oceanarium in late May after being closed (and animals "on vacation" in Mystic, CT for 9 months)- now it is LEED certified (very "green") and houses sea lions, dolphins, otters and pygmy belugas. They do a training show/ run through for their new show opening in a few weeks twice each day. We happened to be there when they were getting ready to do one, so we lined up and watched. Again, Max fell asleep while we were waiting, but woke up shortly after we sat down and the show was being introduced. He missed the long wait (and my contorting in an attempt to keep him comfortable) and got to see the show. We saw a few more exhibits and then began our 5 hour drive back to Louisville. We pulled into the driveway a little after midnight.

BAD-
his past week, my grandmother (85 and typically described by people who meet her as "spunky", "hip" or "wild") had a procedure to remove fluid from her chest (fluid due to congestive heart failure). The pathology reports on the fluid showed stage 3B cancer (we hear this is worse than stage 4). She has endured her husband having chemo in 1988 (I think), her son-in-law and grandson-in-law battle cancer and all lost the fight. She has decided not to have any treatment and has nor begun refusing treatment for pneumonia. She is likely going to leave the hospital and move to a place where she can receive the medical care she needs or go back home with full time nursing care. Either way, the next weeks will be rough and require spontaneity on the part of the family in KY, TN, TX, NC, SC, and FL. With the beginning of school coming for Davey, J.T. and me, many of us will have to be prepared to fly (or drive) to Tampa quickly.

The cousins enjoyed each other and I am so glad they have had such opportunities to see each other so much in the past year (this makes the fifth time since August!)

Have a spectacular week and please pray for doctors, patients and caregivers!

Time for BED!!!!

Wipeout

2009-07-03T23:42:00.003-04:00

I don't know if any of you watch "Wipeout" on ABC on Wednesday nights, but it is a must see at our house! I find it funny that the boys are so into the show and the belly laughs in response to the wipeouts. Today, I went to see what the kids were playing at our friends' house and Josie and Davey were planning and then going through a course with platforms, unsteady pieces of furniture and "Big Balls". Not to be outdone by his older brother, I went down to the basement and Max had created an obstacle course based on "Wipeout" and the Little People were competing for the top prize. He explained to me every step of the course and what the Little People had to do to advance to the next stage. It was very funny! I guess it could be worse, after all there are worse things on that kids see.... SpongeBob, for example. This summer, the only TV they have watched has consisted of the occasional "Magic School Bus", Wimbledon and the weekly "Wipeout". I attribute this to the addition of Goliath to our family.

Ahhh..... Summer

2009-06-30T22:41:00.002-04:00

We are enjoying our summer. A lot of time spent with friends from church at the pool or in backyards grilling out. We are blessed with many people in our lives who must either like us a lot or feel sorry for us (tee hee) because we have had a very wonderfully busy past week. Between friends here in the neighborhood and friends from St. Margaret Mary, we have enjoyed many evenings of perfect weather, awesome company and yummy food on porches, decks and lawns.

Davey and Max are turning into blond pool bums (Davey even is learning a few rudimentary swimming skills, despite asking emphatically, "But WHY do I need to learn to swim?"). Davey also is learning a bit of golf at his Wednesday morning golf clinic. Max wants to do everything his big brother does, so there are a great many attempts at the monkey bars and trapeze bar on the backyard swingset, paired with "Mommy! Look at me!"

I just had a great phone conversation with my (awesome) mom. She has discovered Facebook, as so many have. It is so fun to see her having such a good time with it. I love having a mom who is also my best friend! We have fun together and have good chats about nothing, like friends so often do, just because we like talking to each other.

I hope everyone gets a chance to enjoy some peaceful summertime activities with people they love. This is what makes life enjoyable and what makes all the "not so pleasant" stuff that is also part of life worth putting up with. Thank goodness, with the summer about half over, there are still a few things planned to look forward to: a couple theatre excursions, a trip to Chicago for the Harry Potter exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry with Sherri and J.T., a few books in the "to read" stack and more things that we don't even know about yet.

I wonder what the holiday weekend has in store for us....

Summer Fun!

2009-06-25T23:08:00.002-04:00

This week has been full of lots of things. In the past week, we:

1. Took Goliath to spend Fathers' Day with my parents (sweat a lot at a reception for the retiring Bishop of the Diocese of Owensboro, KY and at a BG HotRods - minor league baseball- game and while walking down to my dad's garden to harvest peas and blackberries).

2. Returned home to our hot house (no A/C since last Wed.) and slept in the basement to try to keep cool. It was cooler, but very humid! The A/C system was new in Sept., 2006 and replaced the original system for our 41 year old house. After much time, "discussion" with the A/C company here that installed it and $1600, we have a working system again. I feel like I was over a barrel, since we chose a Lennox system after much research on David's part and now I am stuck because this company is the only Lennox dealer in town and the part needed (NOT the labor or the 11 pounds of freon I needed TWICE, just the part) was covered by warranty, so they were the people who needed to do the work. I had the support of a couple of my "guardian angels", Ann and John Hancock, who came and helped me talk to the company and try to understand why it was supposedly fixed on Monday, but Tuesday morning, it was still 82 degrees in the house. Also, I learned that the new systems (including any system installed from now on) will use the 410-A freon, which is $30 per pound now, but will decrease in price as it becomes the standard in 2010.

3. To avoid our hot house, after our dentist appointments Monday morning, we went to meet a friend for lunch at Sonic and then over to see "Up". We all enjoyed it, I think.

4. Vacation Bible School was each evening this week from 6 to 8:30. That made for grumpy boys when I tried to wake them up at 7:30 to start a new day, or, as was the case on Tuesday, to jump into the car to chase an escaped beagle into a neighboring subdivision, only to give up and 30 minutes later hear Davey yell, "Mommy, he's back!" Goliath's escape route has been sealed, but we are not taking any chances and when he is outside alone, he is on 48' of chain.

5. VBS has been fun, inspiring and tiring. Davey is a Big Kid now, so he is in a different group than Max and I. This was Max's first year to be old enough to participate. Much better than last year, since I didn't have to spend the week in the oncology unit with a re-diagnosis of lymphoma. The boys got into the Bible stories and the music. Lots of awesome and supportive friends there, too.

6. Davey began golf clinic on Wednesday. If he decides this is something he likes, he wants a set of clubs for his birthday and he can join the golf team at school in a couple years.

7. I met a gal this week who had heard I was a widow and told me she was, too. Her husband committed suicide 4 years ago, when their son was 15 months old. She could really speak from experience about what I live daily. She and I compared stories and she shared her joy with getting remarried 3 weeks ago and her (new) husband has adopted her son. She told me to call her anytime I need an ear. God puts people in our lives to help us; in my case, MANY, MANY people!

We have had a busy week this week and I am thinking next week will seem boring by comparison! That's OK, really. Some time at the YMCA water park, a haircut and lunch with a friend and Independence Day... where did June go!?!!?!?

Please continue to pray for my dear friend, Tena and her family as they battle her dad's very aggressive thyroid cancer. They need strength and prayers.

Goliath- Take 2

2009-06-18T11:21:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I collected the boys (Davey has been doing a YMCA day camp this week which he LOVES!!) and we headed out on a trip to an undisclosed location. As we crossed the Ohio River into Indiana, they said, "Hey, Mommy, were are we going?"

"To Indiana."

"Why?"

"Because I need to go to a store up here."

So as we pulled into the parking lot, they acted very confused. We walked into PetSmart and the foster mom met us there. The boys had a blast playing with Bagel the beagle, who we have rechristened Goliath. We brought him back over the river to his new home. Traffic was yucky, since it was rush hour, but Goliath climbed from the back with the boys to settle into the seat next to me in the front, looking out the window and laying down to relax.

This morning, after a night in his crate, he was ready to play and see the boys. When we left to drop the boys off, I put him out in the back yard, after ensuring that the gates were securely closed. When I returned, Goliath was nowhere to be found. I got back in the car with his favorite squeaky toy, a rubber wine bottle, and was leaning out the window squeaking away. Before I even reached the next door neighbor's driveway, Goliath came bounding over to me. We came in the house and all is now well. He is snoring away in his crate (door open, he just really likes his bed!).

The other excitement around here is our A/C unit. Before our vacation, I noticed there was a message on the screen of the thermostat saying it needed a system check-up. I called and arranged for them to come when it was convenient for me (after vacation and the professional development I was attending on Mon. and Tues. this week. Little did I know how bad it was. There is a leak associated with the coil. The part is under warranty, but the labor and 11 pounds of freon are not. So, after $192 yesterday there will be an additional $725 to be paid for the completion of the job on Monday. Between vacation expenses and nearly $1000 for the A/C, we will be trying to find cheap entertainment for awhile!!! It was 80 degrees in our house last night, even with the windows open. The boys were OK and I slept without covers, but tonight, I think we will be in the basement on the futon!

Thanks for all the positive, supportive comments from so many people. I don't think I am all that "amazing" or "inspirational", but it is nice to know that people enjoy and find comfort in my ramblings.

My best to all of my "readers"!

A Well Deserved Vacation!

2009-06-16T21:42:00.002-04:00

Whew! We arrived home on Sunday from a week in Mexico Beach, Florida with my mom and dad and my brother, sister-in-law and nephew. This was our 5th time to rent the same house on the beach (and we already have it reserved for a week NEXT summer) and it is so nice to know exactly how the house is laid out and equipped. Sherri (the best sis-in-law EVER!) and I split the groceries (we try to take as much of the non-perishables as possible with us and purchase the rest at the WalMart in Panama City.

We had a fantastic time with the sand, water, seafood and a little shopping at the little boutiques we always visit. We prepare "simple" meals, such as baked french toast with fresh blackberries and peaches, scallop pizza and artichoke hearts and scallops with spinach with risotto. We are so thankful for my mom's culinary genius, although the scallop pizza was Sherri's and my creation!

The 3 boys had the best time with the water. Davey doesn't yet know how to swim, but he was out in the surf nearly constantly, both with a tube and without. Max, on the other hand, was seen "beating up" the waves with his fist and growling at them when they crashed on the sand... too funny! J.T. had to be coaxed some days to go out in the water, but he was a big fan, too.

The boys (along with Uncle Fuzzy- my brother, John) built a large sand castle complete with moat that lasted all week. Each morning, they would want to see how much the waves had left in the moat. My mom taught the 3 boys to do drizzle turrets on the side of the castle.

One highlight was a nighttime crab walk. We saw (and caught) many ghost crabs (the white ones prolific on the Gulf coast. J.T. loved to growl at them (perhaps this is where the growling came from!?!?) and Max just kept finding them in the beam of the flashlight and saying, "There's aNOTHER one!"

It was so wonderful to see the cousins together. When I was growing up, I didn't see my cousins (I have 11 of them) very often, so I never developed a really close relationship with them, so I am so thrilled to see this friendship grow between Davey and Max and J.T. (my boys are the only first cousins he has, but he has a lot of extended family in TX). Since August, Davey, Max and J.T. have seen each other in Aug., Nov., April and June and now we have another trip (to Chicago) scheduled in July!!! Yippee!!!

We keep encountering more "firsts"- first trip back to the beach without David, first Fathers' Day without Daddy, etc. We keep plugging along, trying to recollect and share memories from past times WITH David. We talked about him when we ate his favorite beach meal, flying his kite in the Florida breeze and commenting on Davey doing exactly what David would do at the beach- float out on the waves forever. He does live on in our memories!

On a sad note, please pray for my friend, Tena's Dad. He has been diagnosed with thyroid cancer and today, they met with the surgeon who told them that it is inoperable and it is very aggressive. Chemo and radiation seem to be the protocol, but that will only serve to slow things down a little. Pray for peace for Tena and her family and for insight for the doctors and researchers searching for a cure for this evil disease that doesn't seem to leave anyone untouched by it.

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I have learned two lessons in my life: first, there are no sufficient literary, psychological, or historical answers to human tragedy, only moral ones. Second, just as despair can come to one another only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.
-Elie Wiesel

Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.
-Erik H. Erikson

Pitiful? Pensive? Promising?

2009-06-01T00:25:00.003-04:00

I was just trying to sleep and all these thoughts were running through my head. So, I decided that if I couldn't sleep, I may as well try to process these thoughts and the way I precess best is by either talking to someone (too late at night for that!) or writing. I have been oscillating between being hopeful, inspiring (as others have dubbed me) and optimistic one day (or moment) and completely pitiful, sorrowful and discouraged the next. From all my training in counseling in graduate school and reading since August, I know this is what one experiences when grieving. I know one day, I will not feel so lonely and that after an evening with friends, I will not go home feeling like 3/4 of a family, with a piece missing. But, tonight (and many nights) I feel like just that... like I have a piece missing.

I have been thinking this weekend about what a wonderful man David was and how blessed and lucky I was to be married to him for 12 years. I absolutely HATE that Max (and Davey, to some degree) will not know what an amazing man his Daddy was and how respected and well liked he was, what a hard worker he was, what a team player he was, how he came to be a spiritual man through many years of soul searching, how generous and giving, how calm and forgiving. I was the lucky woman to find him for my own, if only for a short time.

A friend at work told me once, when talking about our respective marriages, that hers was not a pleasant experience, in the least. She said, "Jen, better to have had 12 years of a good marriage than 30 years of crap!" I know no marriage is perfect and that there were times either David or I was frustrated with the other, but we always worked it out and we made each other the best selves we could be. I think that "best self" is what I owe David to strive to be. I have such a hard time some days doing that. I yell at the boys, I put what I want to do before what they want or need. There is no other adult in the house to take over when I am lagging, so I need to be the best I can be.

My biggest fear when they told us David was sick was that I didn't want to be a single parent. I now have no choice and I am so glad that the summer is almost here so I can devote more time to putting the pieces together and turn the 3 of us into a solid, cohesive unit that feels more complete as it is. When David died, the school year was just beginning and I am grateful for the business that comes with the beginning of the school year, a distraction that allowed me to grieve at a more "relaxed" pace, for lack of a better term. I didn't feel like I could just curl up and sulk and feel pitiful. I did some of that at intermittent times throughout the past nearly 10 months, combined with feeling a continued purpose with my students and my amazing kids. My grief was still fully felt, but perhaps a bit muted by my feeling of continued purpose. I wonder sometimes if it is easier for widows who have been married for longer and have more memories on which to reflect an in which to find comfort, or whether it is easier for those of us who still have really full and busy lives and have our kids at home to keep us focused and distracted. The hardest thing to endure, either way.

I feel like God has a plan for my future and that of my little boys. That is why I chose the scripture verse for David's grave marker which is also one I wear on a bracelet every day: "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Some would endure this experience and feel called to question God, "Why me? Why did you have to take MY loved one?!" I know there is no reason it happened, there is no reason it should happen to someone else and NOT me. Many, I am sure would lose their faith or believe that this is validation for not believing. I feel like the ONLY way I am going to endure this is with my faith and with the help of those God has placed in my life to hold me up and help me along.

I guess there will come a time when someone comes into our lives and seems to be a candidate to join our 3/4 trying to be whole, but I wonder if I can get that lucky twice in one lifetime. My boys deserve a consistent positive male influence in their lives. I am grateful every day for my dad, my neighbors and friends for the way they have risen to the occasion to offer to provide back-up for me when trying to teach an important lesson or simply provide discipline. There are and will be coaches, scout leaders and fathers of friends who will teach them many important things that I will not be as effective at teaching... sometimes moms aren't the right ones to teach some things, like how to bait a hook or how to treat a young lady. I will give it my all, but they may hear it better from someone who isn't Mom.

I knew this would be therapeutic and worth the lost sleep. I imagine there are some who will read this that will cry (as I have) and some who will comment (please do!) I feel lonely sometimes, but I also feel so surrounded with love and support that the loneliness fades a bit. Thanks to all of you who offer prayers, hugs, support and distraction from my grief. It is appreciated and certainly needed. I wondered, when all the calls, cards and meals were pouring in back in August and into the fall just what the situation would be in the spring, summer and beyond. Some would still be there and I can't than those of you who are enough!

Time for a few hours of sleep, just a few days to go. God bless you all!

Ready for Summer!!

2009-05-25T23:46:00.004-04:00

After this weekend and tonight trying to get 2 boys who napped nearly the whole way home from my mom and dad's to go to bed, I am ready for several weeks without a place to be early every morning. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and the boys love going to school, but this weekend (which should have been the end of the school year but for the "Storm Days" and "Snow Days" we had to make up from September and February) were nothing but a teaser of summer break. Memorial Day weekend was a bit earlier than usual and she school year is going a bit later than usual... only 2 more weeks!

We had a good weekend, overall. Safe travels, relaxing time with family. The boys and I took the huge step and went to the Bowling Green/Warren County Humane Society on Saturday and adopted the dog I had been looking at on their website for about a week. His name was Gravy, but we changed it to Goliath, Davey's chosen name for any dog we might adopt. He's the perfect dog for us: calm. housebroken, obedient, quiet, and a beagle that looks nearly exactly like the dog I had when I met David (Tino, our family dog we adopted when I was in high school in England). [A little side story: I used to joke with David that he met Tino, fell in love with him and decided that I came with the package and if he wanted to hang with Tino, he had to take me, too.] We brought Goliath home to my parents' house and attached him to the chain we always used for Tino. The boys cuddled him (Max "fluffs" animals instead of petting them), played with him, walked him around on his new leash and showed him the play house. He followed me "off lead" down to the play house- I was so impressed that he didn't run off. I went in a bit later to help with preparations for dinner (my parents had invited the associate priest from their church to come over for dinner). When Fr. Anthony arrived, the boys were excited to introduce Goliath. The only problem with that was that they had run inside to help make dinner and had forgotten to hook the chain back onto the collar. So Goliath had likely wondered why these people who were so interested in him vanished and tried to find us. We looked everywhere we could think of as things got darker and darker. Davey was crushed and couldn't stop apologizing. He feels so responsible. It wasn't habit yet to remember that dogs like to follow and often wander. We hadn't heard him bark and he didn't run anywhere in the time we had him, he just moseyed. I had already put the tags from the rabies shot and the microchipping on his collar, so we are hoping (and praying to St. Anthony- patron saint of things that are lost- and St. Francis- patron saint of pets) that some kind person finds Goliath and calls the toll free hotline on the tag that says Goliath is microchipped so we can have him back with us.

We arrived back home tonight, WISHING we had smelled wet dog all the way home. We now know we are ready for a dog in our family. Maybe we will have Goliath or maybe another beagle boy will be the lucky one, either way, we all learned a lesson in diligence and attention required to keep pets safe.

Enjoy your next few weeks and I hope your summer is ready to begin and will be full of many fun and relaxing plans!!!

Fun, Flowers and Family

2009-05-18T20:30:00.004-04:00

I had every intention of getting this published last night, but I fell asleep before I could get it written. This past weekend, my mom and dad were here to see Davey play 2 soccer games. We also did a LARGE number of other things.

We started the weekend with making $83 at our neighborhood yard sale (I had to move into the garage due to the rainy drizzle). I am now without 2 small analog TVs, several games, toys, ride-on scooter type things, many board books and a few puzzles. I sold donuts, too, which were a hit. I still have 3 pipe clamps, some weights, an electric fireplace, a Roomba and a golf hand cart. If you know anyone interested in any of these things, let me know. It was funny the looks I received after answering this question (for at least the 10th time): "Don't you like the Roomba?!" "Well, I am strange this way, I LIKE vacuuming!"

After closing up the sale, with a few cars still driving around, the boys and I headed to meet my parents at Wallitch, a fantastic local nursery to find a few things for our flower beds and for the cemetery. I bought a moonvine, a cardinal climber (we always plant these at the mailbox, to twirl around the base), some portulaca (for the cemetery) and some tomatoes for the pot on the patio. Then to grab a quick lunch and off to soccer.

Davey loves to play goalie, so he was thrilled to have that opportunity for a quarter. Even though we "don't keep score, they are only beginners", St. Margaret Mary won, 3-0. At the game on Sunday, they won 3-1. They are a great group of kids who all get along and like each other. Hope this is the first of many years of this type of camaraderie!

After Saturday's soccer game, it was off to Costco, a DANGEROUS place for my AmEx card and I to go. I stuck to my list pretty well, venturing off of it to purchase strawberries, peanut butter and snacks (which will likely be for the trip to the beach, if I think Uncle Fuzzy, Aunt Sherri and, most importantly, JT will like them). I need to OK them with the TX crew.

Planting, grass mowing (my dad is NOT a big fan of my electric mower- David and I were attempting to be "green" and environmentally minded when we purchased it- I don't mind it, but I don't have much basis of comparison, it is really the only mower I have used much) and grilling steak were on the agenda for Sunday. After church, we went to the cemetery and planted the portulaca. The grass that the grounds people planted is coming in thick and hasn't been mowed, so the boys enjoyed running over it and laying on it. The end result of the weekend gardening is that I have plants in both pots near the front door, annuals to replace the bulbs that have run their course and herbs and foxglove in what used to be the sandbox. The sandbox was crushed in the Great Ice Storm 2009 (the one that caused us to me making up one of the extra weeks of school after Memorial Day)so it now has been given new life.

I went to see "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" with a friend Sunday afternoon. It was cute and my parents commented when I got home that I seemed rejuvenated. I think a little time without the boys that doesn't involve work, errands or procuring groceries is an essential element to being a loving, patient single parent, well ANY parent, actually!

Davey had his first t-ball game of the season this evening. He had fun and for one week, will be a dual sport athlete. Next Tuesday, there will be a conflict between soccer practice and a t-ball game. I guess a game outranks a practice, but I am not sure which place to be. I was proud of us because we walked to t-ball, then to dinner, then home again... perhaps that makes up for the pizza I ate at Tony Boom-Bozz (it was kids eat free night!).

Thursday is Max's end of the year program- a pj (Prayers for Jesus) party... after all, it IS a Baptist childcare center! All the kids (and presumably the teachers, too) are going to wear their jammies. Davey asked if he and I could wear ours, too. Hmmm..... whether to do that or not.... have to ponder that!

Please keep my friend Tena and her family in your thoughts and prayers. Her grandmother passed away early this morning.

Have a fantastic week and a spectacular long weekend!!

Mother's Day and Other Things

2009-05-13T21:09:00.004-04:00

We had a wonderful time at Nolin Lake. We met my parents at the lake house of some dear friends who seem to have adopted the boys and I as their own. They babysit the boys so I get the chance do do a few grown-up things, have us over, check in on us, etc. They picked my parents up at the airport in October when they were returning from their Italy trip and delivered them to the Light the Night Walk and shuttled people to and from in August. This weekend, we played games, worked puzzles (Max is a whiz- he does 64 and 100 piece puzzles these days), sat on the porch, read, explored the locale... relaxation!

Davey is going to be reading at Mass tomorrow (this will be an improvement over his chosen activity LAST Thursday- playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors" with 2 classmates). I am planning to attend, at least long enough to see/ hear him read his Scripture passage.

Things are beginning to get back to normal with David's mom and dad. Sharon fell 2 weeks ago and broke her leg just below the ball joint while cooking dinner. She had surgery, spent some time in the hospital and then was transferred to a rehab hospital unit. She went home yesterday and they seem to be making the necessary adjustments for mobility, ambulation, supervision and independence. Keep them both in your thoughts.

My mom had a check up recently and things look good there, too! Hot flashes as summer is approaching will not be fun, but Mom has a great attitude about it!

I am pleased to report that I have 16 (I think) days of work before vacation. I love what I do, VERY MUCH, but there are plans being made by me (and by the boys) of things to do this summer and things to try, not limited to: movies, Calypso Cove (the YMCA water park nearby), Cub scout camp, a week at Googey and DadDad's, trip to see JT, Uncle Fuzzy (who Davey referred to tonight as "the tallest grownup I've ever met") and Aunt Sherri, and, certainly the most nerve wracking of them all, getting a new dog. Davey wants to adopt a beagle and name it "Goliath", after the dog on the old claymation TV show "Davey and Goliath". We have been looking online at a couple local sites to see what is available at what location. Many people try to warn me about beagles, but I hat a beagle for several years, especially while my mom and dad were in China, where Tino would have been a snack for the locals.

I am running out of steam, so I will stop for tonight. There is more, I am sure, but it will have to come another day.

Parade!!!

2009-05-02T00:05:00.004-04:00

Max had a blast with his float for the WRBC Childcare Center annual Pegasus Parade. Every year, we try to have a float that relates to an event during Derby Festival (Steamboat, Bedrace, airshow, Thunder fireworks) or something Louisville-ish (the Gallopalooza horses found around the city). This year, we chose the Chow Wagon- the food choices available on the riverfront near where the concerts are held. See if you can pick out the various delicacies available on Max's float! YUMMY!!!!

Also, for your enjoyment, photos of the boys' floats from LAST year, since I have just figured out how to download photos from the camera and then upload photos to the blog. I have had to teach myself (and get tutoring, often via phone) to do these technical tasks David used to do for us. I am handling things well, I think and trying to become a "Jane of All Trades".

Visit To Daddy

2009-05-01T23:30:00.004-04:00

Today we went to the cemetery and then to the zoo, since it is Oaks Day and schools were out today. Here are some photos from the trip to "visit Daddy". I was so touched by my gentle Davey. He sat there with Max and talked to him. I tried to keep my distance so they could have their time together. After we got loaded into the car, Davey asked me, "Mommy, can we go tell Daddy one more thing?" So I unloaded both boys and they ran over to the stone for a minute, then gathered up some dandilions, so David would have some flowers. I guess we will be going back to plant some things. Davey wants to plant marigolds, since "Daddy really liked marigolds".

Another Whirlwind Of A Weekend!!

2009-04-26T20:42:00.002-04:00

I finally sent the boys to bed after much stalling (I know this is typical, but it gets old!) and now I can do my Sunday evening entry.

Davey had a successful sleepover Friday night. They played Wii, giggled, played, even slept some. He called me Saturday morning around 9:30 to say good morning. It was so sweet. He even told me my chocolate chip pancakes were better than what he ate that morning. Mine are sourdough, do you suppose that makes a difference? Max and I were going to try to go to the Derby Festival Balloon Glow, but it was fairly windy, then we had an invitation to go with some friends to the balloon race Saturday morning, but it was postponed (it did eventually happen last night). We slept in and it was WONDERFUL! Max helped himself to a piece of chocolate ("But, I went pee pee, Mommy") before I woke up.

Saturday afternoon, Max and I picked Davey up and went to a birthday party for the 6 year old daughter of some friends. I felt at first a little lost, still missing the way it should be... attending these family events with all four of us! There was gal I used to teach with that I hadn't talked to since the funeral. As we were leaving the party, she said that she was sorry she hadn't called. but that she hadn't known what to say. She did offer that perhaps she should have called and said, "I don't know what to say". It is hard to know what to do under these circumstances, I know that, so, the best thing to do is to call and just say, "Hi, I was thinking about you."

After the birthday party, we were off to a celebration of the first Eucharist of the daughter of our dear friends the Hubers. It was great! Beautiful weather and we enjoyed their newly completed deck. I kept feeling as if we needed to depart, but they insisted we stay. We were the last people to leave, even after the grandparents. It is nice to feel so welcome and loved! I know I keep saying this, but we have amazing friends (both near and far). It was a late night, but a good day.

Today, we hurriedly ate breakfast, went to Mass, came home, I mowed the grass, chatted with a neighbor, gathered up the boys, went to another birthday party, did a bit of grocery shopping, ran home, cooked a dinner of hot dogs (requested, but I snuck in turkey hot dogs to ease my guilt), fruit and chips. Then into jammies, a mommy-son showing of Scooby Doo (circa 1969!) and off to bed (a LONG and DRAWN OUT PROCESS!!!! I still hear Max playing in his room, but at least he is in his room, right?).

We are gearing up for another busy week, but at least we have Friday off for Derby weekend!! Soccer practice. A soccer game. IEP meetings. Parties next weekend. It is good for me to stay busy, I do much better that way!

Watch the best 2 minutes in sports this Saturday and may your horse do well for you!

My Little Booger

2009-04-23T21:59:00.002-04:00

Yup, that is right, I call him a Booger. I just went to check on the boys and their peaceful, sleeping (or so I THOUGHT!!!) faces. I open the door from my room to the hall and, there, sitting on the floor outside the door, is Max (The Booger) with something in his mouth. He ran down the hall to his room, laughing. I followed him and turned on his light to see what was in his mouth. He showed me... it smelled, uh, grape-ish. He had gone downstairs, opened an Easter egg and eaten a grape Jolly Rancher. I made him apologize to me for taking candy without permission. Now I have to hide the Easter eggs! NOT something I thought I would be doing nearly 2 weeks after Easter!

Counting Our Blessings, Again

2009-04-19T21:14:00.004-04:00

Well, there is a lot to catch up on. We had a good Easter weekend at my mom and dad's. It was another "first" without David. I am faced every so often, as I was this morning, to make Max understand the finality of death, especially as I teach him about the amazing mystery of Easter. He said to me this morning, as we hulled the strawberries for breakfast, "Mommy, we will share these. Some for Davey, some for Mommy, some for Max and save some for when Daddy gets back." I asked him, Max, where is Daddy?" He said, "In Heaven." "Daddy is staying in Heaven. We will get to see him again, in a LONG time." He tried to convince me that I was wrong, that Daddy was going to be back sometime. It is so hard to know what to say to him when this subject comes up.

Another interesting event this weekend was Max's first bout with vomiting. He used to spit up a great deal, but this weekend was the first "throwing up" that we have had, at a birthday party, in his brother's room (the strawberries), at Sunday School (the goldfish and chocolate cookies that were for snack- gives a whole new meaning to "tossing your cookies"!). He then promised me that he wouldn't throw up again and I told him that if he felt like he needed to, he could. He has been dragging all weekend, until about 5:30 this evening, then he was getting back to himself. We will have to see how he is acting in the morning.

Davey has a jumprope demonstration (tricks, etc.) with the other kindergarteners plus the third and eighth graders, on Tuesday. My mom and dad will be coming for it, so we will get to see them for an overnight. He is growing up! He has even been invited for a sleepover. He is not the least bit apprehensive about it, either. We have been surrounded by so many families of his classmates and buddies, inviting him to play after school, offering to take him to the skating party tomorrow, having him sit with them at Mass while I taught Sunday School. What a community and what a great group of families. I am so grateful to have this environment in which to raise my boys. I know these families will reinforce the right values and goals and I know the boys will have good male role models in the dads of their friends!

We are beginning to look toward our summer plans. We have Derby weekend quickly approaching (Thunder Over Louisville was last night, so Derby Festival 2009 has begun!), as is Mothers' Day and the end of the school year. We have several things already planned for the summer, but if anyone is contemplating coming to see us and why we love Louisville so much, PLEASE come see us! We love to have company!!

Wishing everyone a spectacular week! Take time to count YOUR abundant blessings!!

We should certainly count our blessings, but we should also make our blessings count.
-Neil A. Maxwell

Count your joys instead of your woes; count your friends instead of your foes.
-Irish Proverb

God will not permit any troubles to come upon us, unless He has a specific plan by which great blessing can come out of the difficulty.
-Peter Marshall

The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.
-Eric Hoffer

A Touching Mommy-Son Moment

2009-04-08T22:10:00.001-04:00

Tonight, after Max was in bed, Davey came downstairs and told me his "eyes were watery". I asked him why and he said he had been reading When Someone You Love Has Cancer, the book I read to him the night the doctors told us there was nothing else they could do. A little later, he and I were talking about his favorite subject next to MarioKart, "Wicked" (the stage production we went to see in late Jan. during the ice storm). He asked me why Elphaba (the Wicked Witch) went into the trap door. I explained it was so she could be with Fyero. He asked why and I told him sometimes people do thing just so they can be with the person or people they love. He asked me, "Did you ever do anything so you could be with Daddy?" I told him that I got a job in Texas and didn't move to another city (like Seattle, one of my thoughts as a senior at TCU was to be adventurous after graduation and move somewhere entirely new, but I wasn't that brave, David was only part of the reason, the main reason being fear of being away from everything and everyone I knew) so I could be near Daddy. He asked, "So you really loved Daddy, huh?" "Of course!", was my response. "What did Daddy do that made you love him?", Davey asked "Did he take you out to dinner?" (how quickly they learn that food is the way to someone's heart!) I explained David took me out to dinner, to movies, gave me flowers, and made balloon flowers. The balloon flowers got Davey's attention. He told me that Daddy is probably making balloon flowers in heaven.

Can anyone tell me... should heaven be capitalized, like other proper nouns that are places, or not capitalized. I need to have an answer for the genius kindergartener in the next couple days... he really wants to know!

So, we had a nice, touching, and deep for a six year old, conversation about love and companionship and sacrifices made for the ones you love. I may have to tie things in future into the Elphaba- Fyero relationship. Many parallels to real life can be made!

Buffalo Boys at the Louisville Zoo

2009-04-07T23:19:00.002-04:00

Here are the boys with Davey's buddy from preschool, Ben, at the beginning of Spring Break. The zoo was pretty empty... it was cold, drizzly and the u of L Cardinals were playing. We loved seeing the animals minus crowds!

The Trip, A Milestone

2009-04-04T23:34:00.006-04:00

Well, the boys and I survived the long drive to Kansas City for a week of water slides, family time (with my parents, my brother, sister-in-law and nephew), sightseeing and catching up with a friend from college. It was our first trip (other than the shorter one to St. Louis in November) without David. It was a long drive to do alone (probably would have been better to do sharing the driving, but it went just fine- I did have to promise my friend, Melanie, today that I would not try to spread the peanut butter on the celery for the boys while going 72 miles per hour on the way home, so, instead, they ate spoons full of crunchy PB, healthy, huh?). While in KC, we rode many waterslides at Great Wolf Lodge. I was much more successful that I was in February. I even called my physical therapist on Tuesday to tell him that my hard work had paid off, resulting in little pain from the long drive and the ability to be the adult in our group who rode the slides the most. I was quite a hit with my boys, perhaps my 4 1/2 year old nephew, too!

I decided to check out what was available at Cabelas and a huge furniture store next to GWL. The night before we left, while I was packing the van and the boys were inside, I heard a crash. Like any good mother (which I think I am...), I ran into the family room to ensure the safety of my offspring and THEN noticed the lamp on the floor next to the end table in a hundred pieces. I noticed Max looked guilty (and Davey seemed entirely oblivious to the fact that anything happened), so I questioned Max (the FBI has nothing on me when it comes to interrogation!). Max admitted to having climbed on the end table and knocking the lamp off. He apologized and helped me clean up a little.

We did some sightseeing (Crown Center, Union Station, Moon Marble) and enjoyed a couple days with the Coatses. They have a boy 8 months older than Davey and one almost 4 months older than Max. The boys hit it off from the beginning.

We have seen my brother and his crew 4 times now since last June, at the beach house, in August, at Thanksgiving and now spring break. My boys only have 4 cousins, 3 on David's side and 1 on mine. Chip and Sherri and I have had to make a concerted effort to get the boys all together, usually by meeting somewhere agreed upon by everyone, but it is worth it to see the cousins together. I never saw much of my cousins growing up, the few days some summers, if they were where my grandparents were when we were visiting them from England or Alaska. I want my boys to have lots of opportunities to spend time with their family (both related and chosen).

We are glad to be back at home, in our own beds. I felt motivated enough today to go to the YMCA after church and do most of my program, not the back and abdominal section, since that is verboten per my PT,but the cardio, arms and legs portions. Then I even mowed the front yard, raked the sticks and other remaining debris from the back, but didn't get to mow the back before the rain, thunder and lightning began. The prediction for tomorrow is for snow, so we will see... hope my daffodils and tulips survive. Back to work and school tomorrow! Hope I can feel motivated to get moving for that!

Happy spring and happy Eastertide!

Relaxation

2009-03-29T23:20:00.002-04:00

I am so glad for spring break to have arrived! The boys can't wait to see their Googey, DadDad, Uncle Fuzzy, Aunt Sherri and J.T. I am wondering how the drive is going to go. The DVD player is rigged up, the movies, books, coloring and activity books are all packed. Laundry has been done, suitcases packed... we are ready! I just hope I can drag myself out of bed when the alarm goes off!

We had a fun weekend. Sleeping in and being lazy yesterday morning and then bowling with the Hubers. Running errands, getting all the snacks we each chose (veggie chips, cheese and crackers, granola bars, apples, bananas, peanut butter in celery, all our faves). Today, we went to Mass, then to the cemetery, then to the zoo with some friends. There weren't many people there, which could be because it was cold (36 degrees!) or could be because the U of L Cardinals were playing (and losing!) right when we were there. I've always had a hard time being a Cards fan (Rick Pitino seems to have recovered from complete egotistical jerkiness, so maybe I can be a little bit of a fan, now) and I have UNC winning on my bracket, so I'm not too disappointed.

I hope I can keep the boys content and getting along and keep my sciatica from acting up too badly this week. I have a list of stretches to do and two appointments for the week after spring break, so IF I do my PT homework, I should be OK, but I am taking some pain pills, just in case.

Wishing everyone a happy spring and, if you are off this week, enjoy yourself, relax and relish in a week of fewer pressures and deadlines!

The Home Stretch!

2009-03-22T21:16:00.002-04:00

Here we are at the beginning of another week. Only 5 more work days until Spring Break!!! This past week was a good one, overall. Here are some of the major happenings-

Max started in the Three's classroom: He is now a Ladybug instead of a Teddy Bear. The Assistant Director called on Friday and then he started in there this past Monday. He has made the transition beautifully and enjoys the bigger kids. He isn't the youngest, but I am pretty sure he is the smallest. In this class, they seem to go to the playground more (yippee!), do more "traditional preschool" things (letter of the week, sight words, etc) and Max has now decided peeing standing up is the only way to go. Hmmm...

Western Kentucky Hilltoppers are in the news: At our house, we were excited to see the Toppers beat Illinois early in the week, but then crushed to such that heartbreaker last night against Gonzaga. Oh, well, as they say, there is always next season. Davey stayed up to watch with me. We were also watching the Siena- Louisville game. I think I must be one of the ONLY people in Louisville who would like to see Rick Pitino taken down a few pegs. He has always struck me as a pompous jerk.

I have been experiencing progress with PT: When I began PT in very early Feb., I was only able to get my leg to 25 degrees off the table. On Wed. and Fri. this week, I got it to 70 degrees, with the prodding and stretching of Brad the Wonder PT. I have less pain, more ability to bend and move and, now, more frequent reminders of what I should NOT do (try to carry all the laundry in one load, not carry the groceries in one bag- use the cart all the way to the van, and just be aware of how I bend and twist). I am still hoping I will be able to do things that we have planned for Spring Break, after all, if I don't, Googey and DadDad might have to fill in.

Today, I went to a movie and shopping after with a couple buddies: Bobbie helped me pick out some new additions to my wardrobe that I never would have considered. It was fun! It has been a long time since shopping with a girlfriend! I went to see "He's Just Not That Into You" with Amy and Bobbie. Good flick! I was reminded by one gal in there what drama there can be with dating, something I have had the luxury of avoiding for the past 15 years. She was insightful and there was a character in the movie who kicks her husband out after discovering his chronic lying and after he admits he has had an affair who also seemed quite wise. You hear her at the end talking about being alone again and how it forces you to start over and reassess things. I have definitely learned a lot about myself and the people in my life over the past 9 months. I have seen who is still there, offering support, after time has passed, who has become closer, some who surprise me, and who has drifted away, some who surprise me there, too. I am not happy about the circumstances under which I have watched these relationships develop and change, but I am thankful for those people who have touched my life and those of my 2 precious boys.

Well, that is our week in a nutshell. I hope we will be able to continue to enjoy mild spring weather like we have been and play in the backyard, eat outside and see a lot of our fantastic neighbors. I am ready for the tulips, daffodils and azaleas to bloom. Spring is such a time of renewal, and we need some of that at our house!

Happy spring to you all!!

EMHE- The Backyard Edition- Part II

2009-03-15T22:15:00.003-04:00

I have the boys in bed, soundly sleeping, and I just peeked out the window at the swingset. It was quite a sight to behold on Saturday! There were 7 guys here from shortly after 9 a.m. until about 5:00 p.m. It was like Extreme Makeover Home Edition, like back in the summer.

They worked in the cold, the drizzle and the mud to construct the swingset (photos not jet available). There was some discussion and good-natured ribbing amongst them regarding who was working in the garage constructing portions of the structure (ladders, supports, etc.) and who was out in the rain. We dried the instructions in the oven at least 3 times, not once forgetting they were in there and allowing them to catch on fire. I spoke with 2 of the wives in the mid-morning to early-afternoon and relayed messages (instructions?) to their hubbies. I told them that I did not have a husband to nag, so I was borrowing them, so I could stay in practice. There was a great deal of basketball on on Saturday, so they took an hour to get warm, grab a bite and see some hoops. They did remind me that the "important game" (Big East championship) wasn't on until 9:30. It all came together smoothly and these guys enjoy each other, so it was even fun, perhaps. One guy (Kevin, a neighbor) realized he knew a couple of the other guys (as seems to be the way in Louisville, everyone seems to know someone you know, too- it even happens to me now, and I didn't grow up here and I am not related to more than 2 people here). As an added bonus, the quarter-round trip I stained shortly after Davey was born was installed in the master bedroom. I had never seen so many dust bunnies as there were when they pulled the dressers away from the wall to nail it down! Don't worry, if you haven't moved furniture away from the wall in 8 1/2 years, you have them, too!

I was tired after they left, and I really didn't do anything but entertain, monitor and feed 3 children. I did do a little bit, like sweep out the garage, cut up the cardboard boxes to be recycled and moved the remaining parts of the old swingset to the trash. If I was tired, I imagine the guys were ready to drop!

However, somehow most of us managed to be ready to attend a party/ fundraiser for a local neighborhood swim team. I was (again) the guest of friends who make sure I have an adult social life. It was a horse racing (using rolling stools to be the horses) themed soiree. I had a great time and the boys were sleeping when I arrived home. Most of the guys who were on the construction crew were there with their wives, whom I thanked for loaning them to me for the day. Interestingly, the ladies seemed completely OK with having their hubbies out for the day. My theory: they would have been in front of the t.v. watching basketball, anyway, so this way, they knew the guys were doing something worthwhile. There were lots of people a the party that I knew, some from work, others from church- many were folks that I did not know until they brought a meal (or more) during the past 19 months, whom I now count as friends I can call on if I need something.

I felt like the deacon at church today was speaking of my experience. He was talking about our responsibility to look out for one another; that we are called to minister to the people in our midst who are in need, not only material or financial need, but in need of help, comfort or consolation. The community David and I were lucky enough to find here is so amazing, so inspiring and so incredible. People will have Davey over after school, will advise me in matters that are their specialty (and not mine) and will even anticipate needs I hadn't thought of (for example, offering to help me change the sheets so I don't further injure my back). I know they were sent to us to make it so we could keep going through all we have faced (and continue to face). It is easy to emphatically say, "Are you kidding!?!?" when I am asked if the boys and I are moving away. Why would we leave this? Our roots are right here. I am grateful to be surrounded my so many people who care about us and for us. I have never seen anything like it! If you aren't a spiritual person, I am not sure how you explain all this, but I believe our friends were placed in our lives to help us, even carry us, when we can't do it alone.

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe unto him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."
-Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your friends will be there

A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.

Power Tools

2009-03-08T21:13:00.002-04:00

A woman and her chainsaw, a powerful combination!! I demolished the swingset in the backyard singlehandedly yesterday... just me and my little chainsaw. Before I get lots of comments on how foolish that was, especially considering the evil herniated disk, let me assure you, I was in no more pain this morning as I was yesterday morning. The trash bin is parked at the curb, overflowing with bits of timber and there is a pile next to it that I just hope the trash men feel generous enough to take away, too, tomorrow morning.

Now, next weekend, CONSTRUCTION of the new swingset can begin. There have been several offers from able-bodied friends and neighbors, so, if you find that you are available next weekend (weather permitting), call or drop by! I have several boxes of lumber and such in the garage, just begging to be transformed into a spectacular arena of fun and frivolity!!

The boys have been busy, thus, I have been busy. Davey went to a friend's house to play after school on Friday. We all met up for ice cream after the fish fry at church/ school. The kindergarten buddies played a lot of Wii, I heard. Max and I enjoyed some quality "Mommy-Max" time. We attended a 6th birthday party Saturday afternoon (after which I became a "lumberjane", with my assistant Max). After that, with a GREAT deal of persuasion, Davey joined us in collecting sticks and other bits of storm debris. I told him that if I had to do it all myself, I might be too worn out to fix dinner, so what did he plan on making? He seemed bewildered, but, in the end helped out.

This morning, we had a hard time waking up and getting moving, due to Daylight Savings time, but we made it to Mass on time and got Max settled in at Sunday School. It happens to meet in Davey's classroom, so all I have to do is show him where Davey's seat is and he is good to go.

My book group is meeting this week. We have read The Shack. It should prompt some good conversation! My friend Ronda is choosing the new book. This afternoon, she and I were supposed to meet for a movie, but the movie limes had changed since I looked at them, so we missed it. Instead, she graciously accompanied me on a couple errands, including going to Barnes and Noble to get a gift card. While we were there, Ronda chose the next book (The Undomesticated Goddess, by Sophie Kinsella, hope I didn't spoil the surprise, fellow Booklubbers!!!). So, instead of seeing a Sophie Kinsella movie, I bought a Sophie Kinsella book.

I hope everyone has something fun planned for this week!!

Positive Influences

2009-03-01T20:33:00.002-05:00

Over the weekend, which was a good one, overall, I have had time (and a catalyst to prompt me) to ponder the influences the people in our lives can have on us. I talked to, either by phone, electronically or in person, to several people in the past few days. Some of these people have known me my whole life, others for 15 years or more, others for only since David got sick. So many of them, in fact, nearly all of them comment on some aspect of how I seem to be doing, whether it is how I am balancing work, single parenthood and my own mental health; how great the boys are (smart, polite, kind, etc.- always good to hear about your offspring!) or just to complement me on my strength (that seems to be a pretty common one. I have learned an important lesson this weekend that has been a few years in coming, but I will get to that later.

I went to a party for the parents of first graders, hosted by the parents who live in one neighborhood nearby. On Friday, I was invited to attend, even though I don't have a first grader, it would be a nice adult night out. So, I called our favorite sitter and inquired if she was available. So, we raced from a birthday party that ended at 6, back home so I could get ready for the party. My friend, Bobbi, came by so I could ensure I was appropriately attired with the correct accessories. (Her comment was, "Girrrrl! You look HOT!" It has been awhile since I have heard those words!). I had a fun time, mostly talking to some of the other moms. Two even offered to come over today and help me change the sheets, since I am struggling with this herniated disk and routine household tasks are on the "only do if you have to" list.

I talked to (or communicated electronically with) several friends from college and the days before moving to Kentucky today. It is good to be able to keep up with friends from different parts of your life!

So, after a weekend that has afforded me lots of contact with a varied group of people, I have decided it is important to surround yourself with people who are positive influences and who add something positive to your life, not people who detract from it, or who do not bring something good to your life. Life is too short to waste too much emotional energy on negative people and negativity. I think I am doing a pretty good job as a mom, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a teacher, in all my roles in life, especially under the present circumstances. I have actually begun believing it after having a lot of people try to convince me of it for the past 6 1/2 months. I know there is always room for improvement, but confidence in yourself is a great first step.

I hope all the folks who read this feel confident in their abilities in their various roles in life, and if you don't, do some soul searching and see where you might be able to better.

Have a fantastic week and be strong!

Spelling Test and Such

2009-02-25T21:19:00.002-05:00

Davey had his first spelling test yesterday and he, of course, earned a 100%. The list included words in the -an and -at word families (plan, man, bat, cat...). Friday, he will have the test on this week's words, the -am and -ap word families. He was so on the ball this week (after last week having to do his Monday and Wednesday homework at 8:55 on Tuesday evening, due to his mother's lack of awareness that Language Arts homework is now posted on the Internet, not sent home in the folder) and finished the "write the spelling words 3 times each" and "write 5 sentences using your spelling words" assignments on Sunday night! So tonight, he did not have homework!

I have been attempting to teach the boys about Lent and why we don't eat meat on Ash Wednesday and on Fridays in Lent and why people often abstain from something during Lent. I think Davey might understand. He is becoming really big on putting money in the Rice Bowl (a cardboard container we received to collect money for the needy in the Third World. He put $2 in there today. Am I defeating his charitable attempts by reminding him he needs to be saving something for our Spring Break trip so he has money for souvenirs? I want him to balance and do both. Maybe I should get out the kids Dave Ramsey books Chick-Fil-A gave away s few years ago and reread them with him.... I did attend Mass with him this morning. It was his first "smudging" (that he remembers), so it was nice for me. I was so pleased with his behavior in what turned out to be a lengthy Mass. He did better than most of the other kindergartners. I would expect nothing less, I might add!

Dinner with the Teacher

2009-02-24T21:47:00.003-05:00

Last night, we had the pleasure of having Mrs. Flechler, Davey's kindergarten teacher, over for dinner. We asked her if she would come over while we were at the Spring conference last week. I have fond memories of having my teachers over for dinner (it seems like it was often something Mexican, followed by my mom's yummy sopapillas with honey) as a kiddo, so I wanted to start that tradition with my boys. Now, there are very few of my students over the years from whom I would accept an invitation to their home, but it is a very different type of clientele, not to seem to be too big a snob. So, I asked at the conference and she replied that it would be such a treat and that she had never received such an invitation before. She has been teaching at least 20 years, I would guess, so I was surprised about that. I asked Davey what he would like to have and, after some hemming and hawing, it was decided that we would make homemade pizza. I called to give directions and we were set. She arrived about 5:30 and we had not picked up and tidied like I would have preferred, but she was adamant, "I certainly hope you did not rush home to clean for me! I want to just relax and enjoy." She lost her husband when her children were in middle and early high school, so she empathizes with my struggles with trying to fit it all in in one day. We "decorated" the pizzas, one white and one red, with sausage, mushrooms, olives and artichoke hearts on the red one and chicken, mushrooms, olives and artichoke hearts on the alfredo one. We had a salad and king cake (for dessert). The boys asked for those items, specifically, so everyone was happy. Mrs. Flechler even became acquainted with the Wii and several games we have (especially MarioKart and Big Brain Academy). Max liked getting to know Mrs. Flechler, or "Fleckeley" as he called her. I think the feeling was mutual! Around 8:30 she said she needed to go because her bedtime was quickly approaching. Davey thought it was funny that his teacher and he share the same bedtime. It was such an enjoyable evening!!!

This morning, as I was dropping Davey off at school, I was more short with him than I liked, telling him to hurry, that there were lots of cars waiting behind us. He didn't want to take the cowboy boots (on loan to the music teacher for the production of "Oklahoma" in April) to the school office ("I don't want to go to the office."), so I ended up parking and taking the boots in and went down to his room to apologize. Mrs. Flechler gave me a big, huge hug, told me thanks again and told me she loved us. We are blessed to have her! I was greeted with 20 "Hi, Mrs. Albright!" and one "Hey, Mommy!" Davey had already forgiven me for my shortness and rudeness, so it was worth it!

I continue to attend physical therapy 3 days a week. There has been some improvement. I can now raise up on my toes on the left foot, where I could not 2 weeks ago, and have loss pain and more flexibility. I hope to be near 100% by spring break, if not sooner!

I have now begun the process of getting the taxes done. I wanted to try to do it myself, but my knowledge and patience are not condicive to it this year.

Tomorrow, we are expecting the arrival of the pieces and components for our new swingset (courtesy of the generosity of David's parents). It was a discontinued model on the Creative Playthings website! Yippee!! The next step is recruiting dads and other men we know who like to/ are willing to be destroying and demolishing the old, crushed set and constructing the new one. If anyone (locally only, please :o), it makes it easier) wants to volunteer themselves, their spouse or other random person, to assist with this adventure, let me know.

Here's to nearly being on the back end of the work week!!

Da, Da, Da... The MRI

2009-02-16T21:35:00.002-05:00

Well, I went in this afternoon for the MRI. I had myself all prepared for tight quarters and loud noises. It included both, but it was not nearly as bad as I was expecting!! I got to wear loose, comfy scrubs and I was forced to do nothing but lay there and relax for 30 minutes. That is a TREAT for the working single mom!! I don't know what the official results and findings are, but I seem to be in hardly any pain, now. It seems rather odd. Should I chalk it up to being in that position? Being on a flat, hard surface? The magnetic field? The power of prayer? All of the above? Regardless, I am able to bend and pick things up off the floor (don't tell the boys, I have them convinced I can't bend over and pick up their toys!) and putting on p.j.s tonight was virtually painless.

I knew many of you would be wondering how it went. Now I just wait to hear from my doc. I have 3 PT appointments this week. I hope they all go well!

Have a great week!!

Great Time at Great Wolf

2009-02-15T22:03:00.003-05:00

We took a brief overnight trip to the Great Wolf Lodge in Ohio Friday. The boys had fun and I enjoyed watching them get completely worn out. I am so grateful for the help from other St. Margaret Mary families who were there. It was Winter Break for the Catholic schools in L'ville. There were about 7 or 8 families from SMM who went, too. The boys and I drove up and shared a room with our friends the Straubs. They are so good to us! Rudy, the dad, took Davey on several slides that I just couldn't do with my sciatic nerve issue. I tried to go on a couple and ended up yelping like I was being tortured. Max found a set of slides he really enjoyed and could get up to so that I could watch him all the way to the entrance to the slide. He just kept going and going. He crashed on my lap before his food arrived at dinner, so he was ravenous at Waffle House yesterday morning. Davey made it through dinner, but was down for the count within 10 minutes of getting back to the room. Jennifer (Rudy's wife) was not feeling well the whole time and even debated staying back in L'ville while we all went. I am not sure if she regrets going after all, but it was good to have her there, even if we didn't actually see much of her. Now we have another trip to another GWL to look forward to with Chip, Sherri, J.T., my mom and dad. I hope the doctors and physical therapists and I can get this sciatica taken care of by April!!

I have my MRI tomorrow afternoon. I have never had any of this kind of tests before, so I only have the advice and descriptions from others to go on. All I know is that the tube is small and the noise is very, very loud. I have never had a problem with claustrophobia before, so we will see how it goes. I just hope some answers arise out of it. I am not feeling like a very effective mother with this problem hanging over me. This weekend, Max did tell me frequently that I am "the best mommy in the 'woild'!" I can't hear that enough these days!

I received several calls and cards from people wishing me a good Valentine's day. I guess since it was my first without my usual Valentine, it warranted special wishes. I appreciated them greatly. The boys and the trip helped keep me distracted yesterday. I think in many ways, Valentine's day has become more and more of a kids' holiday. It was really great to get packages from both Tena and my parents with some goodies for the boys AND some for me, too! My mom knitted me an amazingly soft red sweater. I got a fantastic quilted pillowcase handmade with love by Tena, too. They are both creative and love me so! I enjoy benefiting from their creativity.

I hope everyone felt especially loved this weekend and that it carries on for a long while!

A Milestone

2009-02-08T21:42:00.002-05:00

Well, as of Monday, we will have survived 6 months since David died. The boys and I are doing well, I believe. I still expect David to walk through the door some nights while I am making dinner. I wish I could get his advice on things around the house or with the boys, but I only can guess about what he would say. I feel bad that I haven't gone out to the cemetery more than I have. I have been busy and it isn't close to where I usually drive, but is is something I feel like I should be doing more often, it is just so hard to go alone. I am not sure what to do. I guess it would get easier if I went more frequently. (pardon the interruption, I had to get a tissue...) I imagine I miss him more than anyone, I am not sure how people who didn't see him every day, like I did, have done with losing him, but I know my family misses him greatly.

It was a little humorous, and a little sad, to have my doctor tell me she knew that telling me to rest as much as possible to recover from this pinched sciatic nerve was a bit unrealistic. She has known us since Davey was nearly one, so she is well aware of the circumstances. I will have an MRI (my first) next Monday.

The good news about the pain and discomfort I have been feeling in my left leg is that the steroids seem to have helped and now the PT is ready to start working on me. Also, the work to be done on the van will be done on Tuesday, so I can go get a car wash to truly rinse away the remaining salt that the winter storm left behind.

I have an appointment to get the van worked on (to replace the trim on the liftgate where I tried to back into the garage while it was up... you know to save time instead of closing it, backing in and reopening the back... not one of my most brilliant moments!) and I have arranged a ride to get to work and back to pick it up. But, now Davey's conference is in the middle of the time when I will be without a car. Hmm... as my mom said, I have tomorrow to figure that out. Speaking of Davey's conference, I still am torn about whether I want to see him challenged more academically or whether it is more important for him to feel part of the cohesive unit of his class. He says to his teacher "no thanks" when she offers more difficult work to do in reading and math. He wants to do what everyone else is doing.

I have been looking into new backyard swingsets/ playsets since ours got destroyed in the ice storm 2 weeks ago. It is toast, maybe good for firewood, but little else. It seems ToysRUs has some on sale now, but they are still at least $800. I hesitate to buy something that I haven't seen, just a picture on the computer or in the advert.

I am reading The Shack for my bookgroup. It is a book that my mom had recommended to me about a year ago, but I had shied away from due to its topic. I am enjoying it (when I can stay awake... but I am staying off the muscle relaxers at the suggestion of my PT and using only Aleve, so I should be able to read more at a sitting, now). It is making me think about my questioning of God's plan and why God "lets" bad things happen.

Tomorrow, I will be thinking (even more than usual) about David and about the many lives he touched. I just keep hoping the boys will have some memories of him. Davey seems to and Max just keeps saying "night night, sleep tight, turn off the light" when we blow kisses to Daddy at bedtime. I don't remember David saying that, but perhaps it was part of the Daddy- Max bedtime ritual? I hope those of you who knew David will share your favorite memories of him with me so I can share them with Davey and Max in the years to come. Tena is still planning to compile memories of David into a book for the boys. Please send them to her at: worthycubed@yahoo.com.

Thanks and have a fantastic week!

Return to normal??

2009-02-02T22:00:00.002-05:00

I am so ready to be back to some normal schedule! We have missed 5 days of school due to this winter storm! Aargh! Davey went back today and, since I had things to accomplish and a day to do it, I got into high gear and tackled my list.

1. Check battery in the van to see if it is "bad" and replace it, if necessary.

2. Go see the physical therapist to work on my atrocious pain in my left leg.

3. Get a quote on replacing the trim piece on the liftgate on the van where I (stupidly) tried to back into the garage with it open before Christmas.

4. Meet Davey for lunch.

5. Call insurance company to report fence, swingset, sandbox, shed, and potential roof damage.

6. Meet tree removal men at the house to ensure they did what they said they would do for the agreed price.

After dropping off the boys and seeing my parents off, I went to do #1 and discovered the battery on the 2 year 7 month old van was shot and needed to be replaced. I told the gentleman there that I would be back this afternoon to get a new battery. Off I went to my 9:45 appointment with a guy who is a member of SMM and is a PT. He moved me around, asked me to stand on my left leg (which I could do) and then raise up on my toes (which I could not do). He thinks it is either a sciatic nerve problem or a disk problem and said I needed to go back and see my doctor and check out a couple things before he wanted to work on me. So, tomorrow, I have an appointment with my internist.

Rob, the PT, had a suggestion of an alternative to going to the Honda body shop for an estimate, so I gave that a try. They were very reasonable and very nice. Next week, that will be completed, too, as soon as the parts come in. I had a little time before meeting Davey for lunch, so I thought I would see what Circuit City had left and at what prices. I still needed a TV to be prepared for the "Great Switch" in 2 weeks. So, I found a 15" set for a decent price (a good TV for a good price, according to my brother who is in the electronics field) and bought it. Now, I will be ready with 3 DTV ready TVs and I can keep the existing satellite set up.

Off to SMM to have lunch with my favorite kindergartener. Davey invited a few boys to join us at the special table reserved for parents and kids dining together. What an experience! Then, on to getting the new battery and then home to see how the tree removal was progressing. That went smoothly and they even picked up some smaller sticks that I had figured they would leave. I called the insurance company to discover the shed is covered, but the other things are not. We will see how the roof looks after the snow melts (we are supposed to get 1-3" more tonight, but we will see...) I laid on the couch for about 30 minutes, before it was time to go pick Davey up from school. We went to a car wash and did a quick rinse of the salt and collected Max and came home. We had company coming over to share leftover tortilla soup from last night.

Both boys were bathed, pajama-ed and had their teeth brushed by 7:30, books read by 7:50 and Max was tucked in by 8:00. Davey, on the other hand FINALLY got to play MarioKart with me and do some WiiFit before I scooted him off to bed. Now I am debating whether a hot shower or bath is in order for my back/leg or whether I should just go to bed with some pain relievers.

Either way, have a wonderful week and remember to count your blessings!!

Counting My Blessings...

2009-01-29T00:26:00.002-05:00

Today was definitely a day for counting my abundant blessings.

It was my mom's last day of radiation for breast cancer. They have no power, but a lot to celebrate. I am sure they sat by the fire, drinking their champagne.

Late last night and this morning, I heard branches cracking and falling all around and then awoke this morning to discover a large limb had sheared off one of the support beams of the swing set in the backyard. Grateful nothing major seems to have hit the house, just some limbs laying on the roof in front and a lot down all over the yard!

We have now completed 2 snow days, with 2 more this week. Both the parochial and public schools are closed Thursday and Friday. It has been nice to enjoy time with the boys. We are lucky to be some of the homes with power, although, the satellite dish is covered in ice. So, instead of watching too much TV, we have played too much Wii. Some MarioKart, some Big Brain Academy and some WiiFit. This morning, we all three laid in bed and watched "Muppets Take Manhattan" and "Muppets From Space".

Tonight, Davey, Bobbi, Josie and I went to see "Wicked". We stewed a bit about how bad the roads would be, should we take my van or her car. I was prepared with an extra set of "sensible" shoes (my rubber boots) and a bag of salt/ ice melt. We were ready for any eventuality. We all loved the show (I splurged on a t-shirt even, I needed another t-shirt like a hole in the head!) and Davey a Josie both were tired, but excited, talking a mile a minute about their favorite parts as we went to the van. We sat in the van, waiting for the traffic to thin so we could back out. We were chilly because I hadn't started the engine, yet. As everything cleared out and it was our turn, I turned the key and nothing but clicks. Tried again, more clicks. Bobbi went to see if someone could give us a jump. There was a guy in an SUV who said he would, if we had jumper cables. Uh, nope, no luck there. So I called AAA and they called to dispatch a truck to give us a jump... sometime before midnight. I called Bobbi's hubby, who was home with Max and another family who had lost power and were staying with them. As I was talking to him, the little security guy for the parking garage showed up... with a jump start contraption. Within 5 minutes, we were on the road! Yippee!! Our guardian angels were looking out for us. It turned out the gentleman in the SUV saw the security man and told him we needed help.

Now, tomorrow (well, now, I guess it is today) and Friday, we will have to think of things to do. Even if the roads improve, the science museum and the zoo are both closed. We will have to be creative. At least Davey already turned in his "100th Day" poster on Monday. Maybe we can go sledding on the approximately 6 inches of snow and ice that are on the ground here. And more Wii tournaments and lazy relaxing with my 2 favorite young men. They are being so cuddly lately. Max had to come back a couple times to give me more kisses (on the lips is his style, which is fine, since no one else kisses me there these days!) before I could leave for the theatre tonight.

I find myself really looking forward to our trip to the beach, with all this cold (it is 23 out right now, and falling), although, at this rate, we may be going to school until Fourth of July!

One of the greatest blessings I have is that I have such wonderful friends and family. These lyrics from "For Good" from "Wicked" made me think of all the people who have done so much for me and David and the boys over the past 18 months. I thank you!

"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend..."

So, everyone, be warm, be grateful and be happy!

Sweet, Sweet Boys!

2009-01-24T22:00:00.007-05:00

I just want everyone to know that I have the sweetest boys! Ok, sometimes, they are less than perfect, but they bring me such joy, usually when I REALLY need it. Today, we went to breakfast at a restaurant near Baptist East. After we ate, we stopped in at the new Oncology floor to see the nurses. (I had run into 2 of them at the YMCA in the past few weeks and they said I should bring the boys by so the nurses could see them.) So, up we go to the 3rd floor. Max hadn't been up since they moved in late August. The first thing he said after getting off the elevator was, "I want to go to Daddy's room." That caused my eyes to get misty. They were a little active, since we had just come from a restaurant where they had needed to be fairly calm, so we didn't stay long.

We then went home to get ready for a birthday party Davey was invited to. A nice opportunity to visit with other moms from his class. Then off to get my calf and hamstring "worked on" by a great lady who is a retired PT and the mom of my good friend, Jennifer. The boys sat and watched a movie while I was being healed. It is AMAZING what this woman can do!!

Then to Target for a piece of posterboard for Davey's "100th Day" project (every kindergarten parent within the past 5 years knows what I am talking about!). Of course, you can't go to Target and come out with ONLY what you went in there for!

Home, again to work on project, eat dinner, play, watch a movie we got at Target ("Muppets In Space") and, finally, to bed. As we were getting Max tucked in, I told the boys how lucky I was to have them. I was a bit choked up and Max asked me, "Do you miss Daddy?" I replied, "I wish he was here with us!" Davey said, "Let's blow kisses at Daddy." So we did. I think this could become a nightly routine. It seemed so perfect... just the right way to end our day and try to keep David with us in some way. I do miss him so................

'Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway.'

The Great TV Switch

2009-01-23T23:47:00.004-05:00

I am in the midst of an internal debate over whether to keep DirecTV and buy converter boxes, keep it and buy new TVs (slowly over time, since I can't afford to buy 2 new TVs right now), switch to cable (which would be a little bit more each month, but also on all the TVs, not just the one currently on the satellite). Any thoughts out there??

Random bit of news: Max slept in underwear last night for the first time and no wet sheets! He has been dry most school nights, so I thought it was time to take the plunge!

Another random bit: I had a meeting at one of my schools today and the great gal who is the counselor there told me that after last week when I told her about this blog, she stayed up until 4 a.m. reading it from start to finish. I wonder if others have read it from beginning to end... I worry sometimes I come across preachy or too opinionated or other less-than-desirable tone. But, I suppose it is MY blog, so therefore, I can be however I feel like being that day.

Here is to a weekend with lots of potential for lots of good things!

I will leave you with a clip from "Prairie Home Companion" from last weekend. My mom and dad and I went to the live broadcast and this was my favorite part, I think!

www.prairiehome.publicradio.org/programs/2009/01/17/scripts/pilot.shtml

My "To Do" List

2009-01-21T21:41:00.003-05:00

Davey made me a "Job List" last night and I thought I would share it with you all.

Job List for Mommy
1. Love us.
2. Hug us.
3. Kiss us.
4. Play with us.
5. Help us.

I asked if I do those things, which received an enthusiastic, "Of course!" So, I was pleased with that response. Sometimes I just feel like I have to put their requests after things like getting dinner on the table or getting the laundry done, but I know that is not unique to my situation.

On another note, Davey and I are joining Bobbi and Josie at "Wicked" next week. We are so very excited!

And on ANOTHER note, I received the binder of final copies of my new will, living trust and other legal things. Made me cry to see reference to "David Albright, deceased".

Gotta go night-night!!

Swivel Sweeper

2009-01-18T20:23:00.003-05:00

Here is an update on the "As Seen On T.V." products in our home. We love the Swivel Sweeper that I ordered! It even picked up sauerkraut! I know, you are wondering why I force my poor children to eat that. But they like sauerkraut, artichoke hearts, pomegranates (and their juice), starfruit, and jambalaya. I think that if kids are exposed to a wide variety of foods from the beginning, they are more likely to eat interesting things and not turn their noses up at something new or different. They aren't insisting on eating only cheese pizza, chicken nuggets and peanut butter. Davey says, "Just remember, I DON'T want to have to eat Brussels sprouts!" Well, if I had to eat the same number of bites of lima beans as the number of years old I was, HE can eat a Brussels sprout now and then. Davey says he feels the same way about spinach.

The Birds and the Bees

2009-01-16T22:23:00.003-05:00

I had my first dose of "The Inquisitive Six Year Old" the other evening. We were calmly eating our fish, rice and veggies and Davey asked me an interesting question.

"Mommy, what happens when a baby's mommy is white and the daddy is African-American?"

"Well, the baby is kind of both."

"But I thought babies came from the mom."

"Well, they come from both the mom and the dad." (I am trying to just answer the question he is really asking)

"How does it come from both?"

"Well, some of the cells from the mom and some from the dad go together to make the baby." (he is really into science and anything relating to cells will make sense to him)

"How do the cells get together?" (YIKES!!!)

"Well, when a mommy and a daddy really love each other, they do something together called making love and that's when the cells get together."

"How to they get there?"

"The daddy puts a part of him into the mommy and the cells get together."

"Oh." (And back to his dinner...)

Whew, bullet dodged for now. I tried to just give him the info he was asking for and no more. Saying, "Ask Daddy" wasn't gonna fly, so I just jumped in, and I think I did pretty well, if I do say so myself!

About 30 minutes later, his teacher called to tell me that they had been discussing Barack Obama, his parents being from different races, and studying about MLK. To teach about the cultural climate of the 1960s, she gave stickers to the boys only. She noted the reactions of various students, including Davey, who was crying. She asked him what was wrong and he told her that he was sad because it wasn't fair, that everyone should get stickers. She wanted me to know that he is a sensitive and compassionate boy with a strong sense of justice. I am so proud of him and, to be honest, proud of the way he is being raised.

I am trying to do what so many single parents do: trying to be both parents to my boys and answer questions as they are asked in as unintimidating, calm, honest way as I can. I know I am raising someone's future husband and that is an AWESOME responsibility! My boys will be compassionate, caring, and helpful. They will not watch their wife take care of the house, laundry, meals, children, etc. while they kick back with a beer and the remote!

I had an experience yesterday at one of my schools with a colleague who did not know David had been sick and was complaining about some crummy things going on in her life. I told her my story and that put some tings in perspective. Another gal was there, who knew David had died and has told me how strong she thought I was, but, come to find out, she thought all that had happened in 2007, not 2008. She said, "I knew you were strong, but now I am even more impressed." It was weird and difficult to go through all of the story again after several months. Usually, I am picking up the tale at a certain point, not starting at the very beginning. I have come to realize there ARE people every week or so that I get back in contact with who don't even know that David was sick at all.

I went to a new doc today and had the new patient work up. Next week, I will get the blood work info back, but today, I had blood drawn and had a tetanus booster. My arm hurts (well the shot combined with the fact that I was either really motivated or really stupid and went to the gym at the YMCA this week every day since Sun. except Wed.) So, I am ready for bed.

Hope everyone enjoys a long weekend and remembers that we ALL need to be citizens who are compassionate and have a firm sense of justice (maybe we DO learn all we need to know in kindergarten!!!) and pray for our new President as he begins to face so many difficult challenges!

An addendum...

2009-01-10T23:01:00.002-05:00

I just looked at the list of places people are coming from to check out the blog and noticed some people have found the blog because they googled "Bendahangers". I think that is hysterical!!! Maybe I should get a kickback from them?!?!?

First Week Back

2009-01-10T22:27:00.003-05:00

Well, the week began with the boys and I waking on Monday at 7:45. Now, understand that we typically leave the house at 7:30 to get Davey to school, so I was quite panicked when I opened my eyes and saw the time and saw both boys next to me, snoozing away. Davey was 10 minutes late for school, but he was one of many tardy on the first day back after 2 weeks off (I haven't told my mom about this, so she will likely read this and shake her head and say, "Jennifer!")... not to worry, one of my coworkers, who is a bit like a mother to me at times, asked me Monday morning, "So, you decided to get out of bed for us this morning, huh?" I guess the secretary at the office told her I had called to make sure my first meeting wasn't at 8:30.

The week went more smoothly from there. I went to most of my schools, got a haircut, went to the Y twice, went to the school Mass said in memory of David and cooked EVERY night! I am SO proud!

Last night, we got together with a friend who left our neighborhood in a search for more land in the pseudo-country. We ate and talked while the kids played. Later, a rousing Wii American Idol karaoke competition raged. I did my best with "Eye of the Tiger" and Davey gave "YMCA" and "Life Is A Highway" his best shot.

We have been a family addicted to our Wii, as so many families are, so today, we tried to get out of the house a bit, despite the rain and cold. We hit 2 grocery stores and Target and now we are set for the week with the staples and our menu is planned through Thursday, complete with leftovers for lunches and Friday night.

We also have not one, but 2 trips planned for the next few months. Again, we are so touched by the thoughtfulness of our friends and family to help give us things to look forward to. Thanks to you all!

Last post, I mentioned Davey's yearning to order something off an infomercial and I had told him that we don't order things off the TV. Well, I am a hypocrite! I ordered a Swivel Sweeper last weekend. It arrived yesterday, charged overnight and we used it this morning. I have to admit, it does what it said it would. It cleans crumbs, dust bunnies, anything on the floor that always got pushed into the corner by my beloved Swiffer. It came with one additional free ("for only the additional shipping and handling") and 2 hand held sweepers for the couch or car (also pretty cool, I used it on the stuff that collects on the floor boards of the van). Davey loves to run the Swivel Sweeper, so that alone nearly makes it worth it!

Now for a little sweet story about Max, my champion potty user. A few days ago, we were reading a lift the flap book called Where Is Baby's Mommy. The child is looking throughout the house for his mommy, who is hiding, and finds various toys in the places he looks. At the end, I asked, "Where is Max's Mommy?" He said, "Right here!" Then I asked where Max's Daddy is. He said, "In Heaven." I asked what he was doing. "Playing." "What is he playing?" (thinking the answer would be soccer, or Wii or computer) Max said, "He's playing banjo for Jesus." So sweet!

Well enough for now. Maybe next time I will share with you about Max's term "drooping a poop"... actually, I bet that is self explanatory. At least they all make it in the toilet these days!

The Next Billy Mays

2009-01-02T23:22:00.004-05:00

Just a quick funny story about my eldest...

This afternoon, I was putting away laundry and had to push aside some things to make room for the pants and skirt I was trying to make room for. Davey came in and said, "Mommy, you need some WondaHangers! They adjust so you have more room and nothing gets wrinkles. They even come with BendaHangers for things to not lose their shape!" I told him what I really needed to do was go through things and donate things that hadn't been worn in the past couple years. I thought that was the end of it, but, again, during the coveted "Mommy- Davey time" after Max (finally!-- tonight it was a long process) was settled into bed, he said, "So, did you decide to order the WondaHangers? You know, they come with those free BendaHangers." I asked him what he was watching when he saw them. He told me, "Nick, Jr., I think." Hmmm... marketing to the younger generation. What are they doing advertising WondaHangers during "The Backyardigans"?!? I suppose I would rather be pestered about hangers than some obnoxious toy for "the low, low price of $99.99", right? Davey has been known to try to sell me an Oreck vacuum, a Snuggie ("the blanket with sleeves"), the Bath Blizzard and some strange bathroom caulk applicator. Maybe this is his new aspiration? Although, this morning, he DID ask me, "Mommy, who are the people that say things to make people laugh?" I replied. "Comedians." "Maybe that's what I'll be." So, I am either raising the future Billy Mays or the next Drew Carey, only time will tell! That is exactly what I see him doing with this degree from Vandy he says he is planning to have!!!

It's Been Awhile...

2009-01-01T23:07:00.002-05:00

Yes, my boys and I have been busy. We had dentist appointments on 12/22 (I know, what kind of lunatic goes to the dentist on her birthday and takes her two boys WITH her on that excursion?!!?, well, I do. I don't mind going to the dentist and Max did great at his first ever cleaning and check-up. Davey kept filling him in on what to expect). Then we met friends for a birthday lunch at Jason's Deli and then off to BG for the holidays. My mom made my requested dinner, we ate chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and chocolate ice cream, and then we went to see the WKU Lady Toppers win a basketball game. Good day, all things considered.

Over the next couple days, we did a little shopping, baking, relaxing, accompanying my mom the the radiation clinic for a treatment, getting the oil changed on the van... exciting stuff.

We went to Mass on Christmas Eve (complete with the serenade from the boys of "All the Ends of the Earth Have Seen the Power of God" and "Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria In Excelsis Deo" on the drive home from church) and everyone slept in until around 8-ish, then the fun really began. The boys were excited about their Wii, books, DVDs, all of it! Everything they opened was the best thing, until it was their turn again and they opened something new and exciting.

The next day was Boxing Day, traditionally when the Queen of England opens the poor boxes and distributes the money. My parents had their traditional Boxing Day Open House, complete with Christmas crackers. I always enjoy extending the celebration another day, especially this year!

We went to see "Tale of Despereaux". It was good, but I am glad my dad did other things instead, I think it would not have been his "cup of tea". One night, after getting Max settled in bed (or so I thought!), I heard him calling down the stairs that he wanted "a cuddle". SO I went up, noticed some foil scattered near the doorway to the room I sleep in there, and asked,"Max, how many did you eat?" (knowing I had put the Lindt chocolate treats from my stocking on top of some gifts in my room). He looked a LITTLE sheepish and said, "Five". He had eaten 5 small hollow chocolate angels, the little sneaky booger!!

Our original plan was to be back home on Sunday or Monday. Well, we finally came home on New Year's Eve, in time to quickly make baked brie and Hopping John (black-eyed peas, rice and ham, for good luck in the New Year)before departing for a party. The boys had a lot of fun, as did I, but there were some rough, teary moments. Again, I was reminded that I am surrounded by so many people who care deeply about us!

This morning, I did not AT ALL want to face the new year! I am not usually a fan of New Year's, so anticlimactic! This year, I felt like turning the page and beginning a new year was one more thing separating me from David, like I am now that much more distant from him. I missed him so much last night and an interesting realization hit me when a good friend asked, "What did you all do last year?". My response was, "We were at home hoping that 2008 would be better than 2007." Hmmmmm... I think I am now counting on 2009 being a huge improvement over 2008. Whaddya think? We were saved from a day of staring at the walls and each other by our friends, the Straubs, and their invitation to "come and hang". So we did just that. I am grateful they have not tired of us yet.

I am ready to go back to our routine on Monday. I hope everyone else is, too. Have a very happy, blessed and joyful 2009!! Here is to new beginnings and a year full of hope!

Getting Back In Touch

2008-12-17T22:00:00.002-05:00

Just a quickie tonight. I had a very awesome phone call last night. I talked (for nearly an hour and a half) with a friend from high school (the only friend from back then I still am in contact with) and it was so great! It was like we had just talked a few months ago, not 18 years ago. She is living in Baltimore and had 3 kids. We talked about motherhood, the old days, David's last months, God, our faith, our families... It was the highlight of my week! I can't tell you how it has impacted me and lifted my spirits.

This morning, we didn't wake up until 7:15 (we need to leave the house by 7:30 if Max is dropped off first, 7:40 if Davey is dropped off first). Everyone was where they needed to be by the time they needed to be there, so it turned out ok, but we were flying!

Tomorrow is Davey's school Christmas party and I am ready with craft activities and the other 2 room moms are armed with games, goodie bags and food. The only parents allowed at the party are the room moms.

I still look forward every night to the snuggles and cuddles from my little fellows. They are the lights of my life!!

Firsts of Sorts

2008-12-15T21:37:00.002-05:00

This past weekend had several firsts, some more major than others.

First sleepover: We all went to Josie's birthday party, at a hotel, so everyone got to swim, play cornhole (Max's favorite), play Foosball (a new passion of Davey's since attending the Y program after school with some older boys who have taught him the finer points of the game), have scavenger hunts, and dum dum daaaa... Davey spent the night away from me!! They were up until midnight, but he kept proclaiming he got "plenty of sleep".

First major "owie" for Max: Saturday morning, Max was helping make the sourdough pancakes and dropped a glass bottle of Mexican vanilla on his big toe, right after I said, "Max, don't drop this." Of course, I had been picturing trying to clean up shattered glass and vanilla, not comforting my 3 year old with a purple toenail.

First time Max told someone he needed to go potty: He will now let us know when he needs to go. Now I can't wait for "First poop in the potty"

First new sheets for the "solo" bed: I know, not a big deal, but it IS weird knowing David never slept on these sheets. They are very soft, but still in a color he would approve of... not pink and not floral.

Davey's first Santa's Workshop: He shopped for Max and for me. Again, I always thought he'd shop for 3 people, not 2.

My mom is doing well with the radiation, by all reports. Thanks to all of you who ask how she is doing. She chuckled when she told me she had gotten her tattoos. She's one of the last people who you'd ever expect to have a tattoo!

I am making plans for the kindergarten Christmas party. They will be making houses using milk cartons and graham crackers because kids really love doing that and I couldn't come up with a better idea for the amount of time we have. I did see a couple cute ideas in Family Fun magazine that I am toying with.

I still keep feeling like David will be coming home from the hospital any day now. I am not sure if I am still getting used to things or what. It has been cold and the coldest seems to be coming tonight. I imagine David being cold and lonely at the cemetery while we are warm in the house. I know that is stupid, that he doesn't feel cold OR lonely, but I can't seem to get the image out of my head sometimes, especially when my mind isn't otherwise occupied. I am just waiting for a Christmas card from someone who didn't know what happened until they received our card. I know it is bound to happen.

I guess that is about it for the moment. Only 4 more days!!

Charity

2008-12-11T21:32:00.002-05:00

I did it! I took a bunch of pants, t-shirts, sweaters, sweatpants, etc. to a local homeless shelter when I was downtown for meetings today. My friend, Lisa drove us over there and she dropped off some things, too. It was cold and I felt good knowing there would be people who needed these things a great deal more than I did. There are some items of clothing I might NEVER be able to part with (the lounge pants/ pajama pants David practically lived in from June on, a couple pairs of shoes and the golf shirts that were his staple for work days). I am still hoping to make (or have made) another quilt using his clothes. We have one from when he had his colon resection in August, 2002.

Pottying continues to go well. I am busy doing Christmas cards (there are a few people who will receive the card and not know at first why there are only 3 names in the card. I have to include an explanation in those.)

I have ordered a trundle bed for Max's room. Bunks were just going to be too overwhelming size-wise in his smallish space. The boys are excited about sharing sometimes.

Only 6 more days of work until the break!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Three Years Old!

2008-12-09T22:49:00.002-05:00

We had a fun weekend! Friday afternoon, Googey and DadDad came to celebrate Max's big day. We had one of Max's favorite dinners and chocolate cake with ice cream. Later, Ryan called to see what we were doing. He and Logan came down for cake and ice cream while he finished opening presents. Then, Saturday morning, we went to Derby Dinner Playhouse for breakfast and "Frosty's Magic Hat". That night, we had friends (the Straub family) over for chili and tree trimming. What fun to share that with good friends! Sunday afternoon was the birthday party, a low key event with 3 friends, playing, making pirate costumes and pizza and cake.

Max has been doing so well with the potty training. Only one accident (usually at home) each day since Thursday, and none today! Yesterday, the wet pants were at the pediatrician's office before his 3 year old check up. He managed to leave a sample in the cup for the lab, though. Apparently, about half of the 3 year olds are able to do that.

Davey lost his second tooth at the Frosty play Saturday. He now has had 2 visits from the Tooth Fairy, one the day before Thanksgiving and then this weekend. The T.F. has brought 2 different kinds of gold dollars, a Sacajawea and a John Quincy Adams. Pretty cool, to quote a certain 6 year old!

Tonight, I had the opportunity to go out with my book group, thanks to our friends, the Hancocks. They came and ate with the boys, played and got them in bed. I am so grateful to them!! Again, there are so many people who make it possible to keep life as close to normal as possible!

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
-Christopher Robin to Pooh

“Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you."
-Charlie Brown to Snoopy

A Successful Day!

2008-12-04T21:49:00.003-05:00

Today (after last night, due to peeing on the floor, had to stop watching "Backyardagans" mid-show, go upstairs to bathe and go night-night early, making Mommy feel like the Meanest Mother On Earth) Max had a very successful day today. When I picked him up today, he was in the same clothes I dropped him off wearing! And no extra laundry to do. Yippee! He did have an accident before leaving home this morning and this evening while Mommy was distracted making dinner, but STILL... Maybe he realized he will be 3 tomorrow and better figure this out!!

On a gloomy note, my friend, Cindy, who is one of the teachers I work with, found out today that her cousin, whom she is close to, likely has lymphoma. Evil, evil disease, but they are hopeful. She will probably start chem soon. She had low blood counts, a cough and a mass showed up that is putting pressure on her lung. Sounds very familiar, unfortunately!

So, happy birthday to my little snuggle monster!! Have a great weekend!

Mothers...

2008-12-03T00:34:00.002-05:00

It is amazing how being a mom (or a dad) can change your opinions and perspectives, huh? I was talking to the mom of one of my students about being in a restaurant where there is a kid screaming/fussing/yelling/etc. before having kids of your own versus the same experience when you are just grateful that (this time) it isn't your kid causing people to turn and stare. I think about the things I either said I wouldn't do or never occurred to me that I might need to do. Teaching (training?!?!) your child to pee in the toilet and all that is involved with that is something you don't think of much when you are planning to have a baby. You think of the sleepless nights, the spit up, the wiping their little heinies, but not so much about the strategies and anxiety that goes with potty training. I was determined this morning that Max WOULD pee in the miniature toilet in his classroom before I went on to work. So, we (the Royal We) sat for a few minutes, until he said, "I will pee-pee in 5 minutes." Then he went to play for a few minutes, then sat again. We repeated this process 3 times and he did go before I left, as I had proclaimed so boldly. I was nervous about what I would hear when I arrived to pick him up and how much laundry there would be. He had "a couple accidentals" as his teacher put it. But he was still in the clothes her was wearing when I left. She suggested that we go cold turkey and just do real underwear (thank goodness Sherri gave us 6 pairs of Elmo sports and Nemo underwear! Thanks, SIL!!!) So, tomorrow, he will be without a safety net! Yipes!!

The other "Mother" related thing is that my mom will begin radiation next Monday. The radiation oncologist predicts 5 days a week for 6 weeks. She is a great role model to me of taking this in stride and doing what needs to be done. In spite of all the chaos that has been going on in her life, Thanksgiving was great and perfect (well, except for one major and obvious absence).

There is a neighbor who has offered to come this week and put up the lights on our house. I am not really much help, since David always did it (last year, he gave instructions about where things went and the minute details to get it as he wanted). It may be different this year, but that might just be ok, maybe even a good thing.

Max is homing in on the big third birthday. He likes to tell anyone who will listen that he is having 3 friends at his party, and who the "chosen ones" are. Davey has his last chess club meeting tomorrow, so he will be hitting up any available individual to play against. Davey lives for "Mommy-Davey time" after Max is settled in for the night. Sometimes we play a game (chess, checkers, Battleship, etc.) or read or do homework or watch a show (last night, it was "Shrek the Halls" and "The Grinch"). I think is is very important for each of them to get a little time with me by themselves. Tough to do, but every kid, even with 2 parents, needs some time where it is just them and their parents- special time where they are the only focus. I see too many kids who will do anything to get their parents' attention and feel like they have someone to listen to them. Parents should be that person for their kids, otherwise the kid will find someone else who will listen and THAT is where trouble can begin.

OK, enough with the parenting lecture. I will retire my soapbox for the night and go to bed. I wish everyone a peaceful and happy Advent.

The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering. ~Benjamin Spock, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care

In bringing up children, spend on them half as much money and twice as much time. ~Author Unknown

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. ~John Wilmot

PottyTime!

2008-12-01T20:32:00.002-05:00

We had a wonderful super-long weekend. We headed to Mom and Dad's Tuesday and Chip and Sherri and J.T. were already there. We began the toileting on Wed. morning. Every hour and a half, I took Max to sit on the toilet (either the little one or the full size one), not always entirely willingly. He did pretty well, overall. I got tired of doing laundry, but the plastic pants and cloth training pants are the way to go, in my opinion. We ventured out to see horses at a small farm, and there was pottying, followed by M&Ms, went to do a little shopping, again there was pottying, and we went to church on Thursday and Sunday... we get good at finding the restrooms wherever we went.

On other activities not related to the restroom, we all went to see "Bolt" in 3D. I think everyone enjoyed it, even my dad, who is not much of a movie-goer. I got some shopping done online for both boys. Food was delicious, of course, and we all got to have a choice of pie that appealed to us (pecan, pumpkin, apple-cranberry or chocolate).

The boys really enjoyed seeing their cousin! The boys laughed together, played, ran (even when told REPEATEDLY to NOT run inside), jumped on the beds (another no-no)... generally did all those things cousins are supposed to do. I love that they get to spend time together even though there's 13 hours between us. Family MUST be a priority, or things like this often do not happen.

Next on the schedule is getting ready for Max's 3rd birthday on Friday. Treats for his class, a small party (3 friends when you turn 3 is the rule at our house) and celebrating with Googey and DadDad.

Max and Davey were excited to be back at school today. Max was not as successful today as he had been before. At home, I told him he had to go potty before dinner, and success!! But, tomorrow is another day! I hope it is a potty-filled (and diaper-free!) day!

At Last!

2008-11-24T21:48:00.003-05:00

We are on the verge of a glorious 5 days off to spend with family and give thanks. Despite the "yuckiness" I have been through since last Thanksgiving, I am somehow able to see the many blessings I have in my life, beginning with my 2 wonderful, (near)perfect, brilliant, loving and resilient boys! I have more friends that care deeply for me and the boys than I can count. My boys, family, friends and faith are what has pulled me through thus far and I hope these things will get me through the next few days, weeks, months and years.

All that said, allow me to reflect on the weekend. We stayed busy! Friday evening, we ordered pizza (thanks to a gift card given to us) and hung out with our neighbors (Bobbi, Kevin, Josie, Ryan and Logan). The kids got to play with/ observe Kevin's dad's Lionel train from 50+ years ago. We were home late and everyone in our house slept in until 8:30! We enjoyed our typical Sat. morning sourdough chocolate chip pancakes, watched a little t.v. and played in the basement. I managed to go through boxes of clothes and discover an entire 3T hand-me-down wardrobe for Max and box up 3 boxes of outgrown clothes for consignment. Davey had a birthday party to attend, which Max and I crashed (it seems that single mommyhood requires one sibling to get dragged to the activities of the other). After the party, we went to Bobbi and Kevin's for another, larger, get-together for appetizers, drinks, games and fun. Again, a late night for the boys, but we were up again on time for a rushed breakfast (if you can call it that) in the car on the way to Mass. After church, we went to Costco and Wendy's and then home. I felt such a sense of accomplishment with this NEXT activity. The boys helped (using that term a bit loosely) me rake and collect the leaves in the backyard into piles. Their job was to use the little wheelbarrow to consolidate the pile into the jumping pile. They did that until they got bored and cold, then they went inside. I continued on to fill 11 yard bags with leaves and not even touch the front yard. The boys did pop out occasionally to check on my progress and only complain about each other a little. Afterward, we enjoyed hot chocolate, leftovers and bedtime stories. I am definitely ready for a break!

This is the weekend I plan to get Max out of diapers, at least during the day. His third birthday is swiftly approaching and I will have reinforcements named Googey, DadDad, Uncle Fuzzy and Aunt Sherri, not to mention my little role models on the "how", "when" and "where", Davey and J.T. Wish us luck!!

I did manage to get into the shopping part of the preparations for the holidays at Target the other day. I think you can't help but get caught up in it at Target!

I wish you all a peaceful and gratitude-filled Thanksgiving and thank you again for your kindness, love and support!

College Plans

2008-11-20T21:56:00.004-05:00

You all may find it strange or unusual that a 6 year old is talking a great deal about college, but ever since this past weekend when we watched the UK (that would be Kentucky, not Kansas)vs. Vanderbilt football game (a huge rivalry, is seems), Davey has been contemplating his collegiate future. He has decided that he would very much like to attend Vandy. Yesterday, he asked me how old people are when they go to college. This afternoon, he said he only wanted to go if I could go with him. I told him that he would live in a big building kind of like a hotel of only college students. He thought that sounded good, especially when I told him he would have a roommate. He put it together that there could be bunk beds. He has been really pro-bunk beds lately, so a roommate and bunks sounded really good to him. He said to me, "Do you think I could sleep on the top one night and on the bottom the next night?" I told him he would have to talk to his roommate. His response was, "Will it be a boy roommate or a girl?" I told him a boy and he said, "Good! I think that would be better." He has decided that St. X (Saint Xavier High School, for those not familiar with the Louisville Catholics HS- It has a very good reputation for academics, character development and athletics) and Vandy are his choices, at least for now. Our friend, John Huber, went to both, so he is looking to follow in some awesome footsteps.

Another funny thing that happened over the weekend, that I forgot to mention... Max is utterly convinced that Santa lives in a gingerbread house.

I managed to get in the holiday spirit this afternoon. I went to Target to do a bit of birthday (Max will be 3 in 15 days, so I needed to get going!) and Christmas shopping. I supported the economy a bit, so a recession cannot be blamed on me! I was excited that I had gotten into it. I have some more to do for Davey, but there will be no lack of inspiration there, since he has been circling things in catalogs for the past few weeks.

There is a kick off the holidays "thing" near here tomorrow evening with Santa, fireworks and hot chocolate, so we may go to that. Davey has a birthday party to attend and we have a neighborhood get together that was tentatively planned for Saturday. Then, next week, we get to see my brother, sister in law and nephew!! Yippee!!!

Whew!

2008-11-17T20:16:00.002-05:00

Well, one day down and 8 more until Thanksgiving Break! We had a good weekend. My mom is doing well after a lumpectomy last Thursday. Things look positive, but we wait (prayerfully) for the doctor's follow up visit on Friday. The boys, DadDad and I went bowling on Saturday so Googey could rest in a quiet house. The boys got to have Culver's for lunch, which is a treat since we don't want to drive to the one here (it is a bit far from home).

Today, I felt like I really earned my paycheck! I got headbutted by a student, so I had to keep him from hurting me, himself or his classmates. At least that was as far as it went today. I had a lunch that turned into a therapy session with Amy and Bobbi. It is good to have friends to talk to, hug, cry with, etc.

This evening, we had Ryan and Logan over for Italian Beef, spinach egg noodles and green beans (apparently, these are Logan's favorite veggie. Who knew?). Josie was over playing, so she tried some meat (and, amazingly, she liked it... she doesn't like anything new), then Bobbi and Kevin came over to get her and stayed to eat. The kiddos all decided to put on a puppet show (which will have to be continued on Sat. Apparently, we are now all getting together Sat. evening.) It turned out to be a good day... I still wish David were with us to enjoy it all.

Davey has been a bit sad the past 2 evenings. He has gotten teary and told me he misses Daddy. He tells me he wants to sleep with me because he loves me and it's lonely. What should my stance be on making him stay in his own room? His habit has become that he will come in in the middle of the night (presumably when he gets up to go to the bathroom) and crawl in with me. I am not sure whether to put a stop to it immediately or cut him some slack.

On another bed question, David and I had discussed getting bunk beds for Max's room when he outgrew the "toddler bed" (either physically or developmentally). Davey thinks HE needs the bunk beds in his room. There is no space for a full bed in Max's room, but there is in Davey's. The idea was that when people came to visit, guests could be in Davey's full bed and the boys could sleep in Max's room. I attempted to explain this to Davey and the space logistics. I think he understands. So now the question is the WHAT and the WHEN. Do I get bunks or a trundle? DO I do this for Max's birthday (in about 3 weeks) or wait?

It is good to think about seeing my brother, sister-in-law and nephew for Thanksgiving, but I am having a hard time getting excited about Christmas. I don't feel like doing a tree, shopping, putting up lights, any of it, but I know the boys need it and deserve it. I hate the idea of decorating the tree without David. Even as messed up as things were last year, we managed to do the tree. I am not inspired for gifts for the boys, but I know that is not what it is about. I want to still see the joy and magic that they will(hopefully)see in the Christmas season.

Davey will be getting his first report card soon. I am excited for him. He has done well. All 100s except a 99 in Spanish and a 95 in Art. Good for him! I am still getting adjusted to making lunches and supervising homework. I do wish I could get him to do homework as soon as we get home, but the pattern has developed that he does it between when Max goes to bed and when he goes to bed.

I think that is enough rambling for tonight. Please comment or reply regarding the bunk bed vs. trundle and any advice for getting into the Spirit of the Season. I will take as much advice as is provided. Thanks, as always, for your love and support!!

A Fun Night Out

2008-11-14T00:08:00.002-05:00

I went out to dinner this evening with about 40 moms of St. Margaret Mary kindergarteners. It was one of the most fun evenings I have had since August, well, maybe even since before that. What a neat bunch of gals and what a treat it was to splurge on a sitter and a nice meal, especially on a school night! Thanks to Suzy for the Ruby Slipper and to all the gals who made it! Let's do it again, soon!!

An Angel

2008-11-14T00:00:00.002-05:00

A very mysterious thing happened to me yesterday. I have this awesome green raincoat that I bought at a consignment store here. I have worn it almost every day since Saturday. Yesterday, I reached into the right pocket and there, among the 2 Tootsie Roll pops, a tissue and my ID badge from work, was a coin-sized token with an angel on one side and on the reverse, it says "strength". I have no idea how is got there, but it had not been there when I left for work and was digging in my pockets for my car keys. Hmmm..... After the things I have been living with lately, I would say strength is an appropriate mantra and this is an appropriate touchstone. Whether someone earthly placed in my pocket or it appeared by some other more mysterious method, it doesn't matter. It touched me and I love having that in my pocket.

A Quickie

2008-11-12T22:29:00.004-05:00

Ok, not what you'd expect from a "young widow" as I have been called a fair bit lately. There are no "quickies" in my life, especially seeing as everything takes longer than it used to these days. There is always more that I need to do (laundry, cook, clean, pack lunches...) an want to do (reading with and cuddling with my boys, "Boston Legal", phone calls, reading, blogging...) than there are hours in the day! So this will be brief, I hope!

Work is good. I still love it, even with the chair throwing, poop smearing, hitting, biting, scratching, etc. going on with 2 of my students. It is very rewarding.

We are getting along ok without any meals coming and with me doing my own mowing and leaf removal. It is a slow process, but very rewarding when it is finished.

I hired a sitter to come so I could join a friend at a showing of "Secret Life of Bees" on Sunday afternoon. I will be doing it again tomorrow night so I can go to a Moms' Night Out with the kindergarten moms. It should be fun!

David's last group at work has collected a chunk of money for the boys' education fund. We continue to be blessed with amazing support from people who care so much about us!

I saw this at one of my schools and it has stuck with me so I will share it.

"Decide to be happy today, to love with what is yours- your family, your business, your job, your luck. If you can't have what you like, maybe you can like what you have. Just for today, be kind, be cheerful, agreeable, responsive, caring and understanding. Be your best, dress your best, talk softly, look for the bright side of things. Praise people for what they do and don't criticize them for what they can't do. If someone does something stupid, forgive and forget. After all, it's just for one day. Who knows? It may turn out to be a nice day."

Grey's Anatomy

2008-11-06T22:22:00.002-05:00

I watched "Grey's" tonight. I don't know if anyone else follows it, but I have been a loyal viewer since Season 2. I haven't had any issues with watching it so far this season... UNTIL TONIGHT. There was an older couple who had been blissfully married for many, many years. The wife had a brain tumor and was having a risky surgery to try to remove it. She signed a DNR order and when she is slipping away, her husband loses it and wants to try anything they can to save her. It brought back some thoughts, feelings and memories of having to watch David slip away. I am so grateful that the doctors and staff turned the monitors off so we would not have to hear the beeping and that continuous tone when the heart and breathing stop. I was urging the docs on TV to turn those monitors off and not torture that poor man, having to listen to those beeps and hums. I didn't cry, but I was thrown into a flashback from August. It still is hard, yet at times comforting to see David in the pictures on the wall and on the dresser. I know I need to go through the closet and David's dresser, but I can't seem to get to the point that I can do it. I know there is no rush, but as the days turn colder, there is someone who needs these long pants, flannel shirts, sweatshirts and sweaters much more than I do! Anyone locally have a suggestion of a place to donate clothes? Wayside? St. Vincent dePaul? Let me know your suggestions!

Compensation

God, I have known sorrow-
I have stood by helplessly,
as fate like a madly rushing, rising river,
Sullen and ruthless, swept from me everything worth
buying at life's mart;
Baby eyes, slowly clouding with death,
have pleaded for life,
As I stood by anxious and sorrowing,
but oh! how helpless.
Sorrow has squeezed my heart dry of all emotion,
Even the tears are gone from my eyes,
I smile-I smile, but God, I have known sorrow.

You have been kind, dear God, for I have known love-
Not mere white, hot passion, but a love so possessing,
Consuming, that no sacrifice was too great to keep it;
A love that hid me from every hurt,
taking me in its strong, tender arms
Up to a land peopled with fairies,
and carpeted with pale hyacinths.
I willingly bear the the loneliness-the sorrow-
Since I have known love.
-- Ruby Berkeley Goodwin

Family Time

2008-11-05T22:05:00.002-05:00

It has been a little while since the last post, so I will try to hit the highlights.

FLU SHOT- I took Max for his flu shot last week. I took a sick day to do it, but a meeting was scheduled for me on that day. So I worked part of the day and then went to do his shot. We arrived at the pediatricians' office and discovered that "shot hours" had just ended until later in the day. I guess I looked crushed, because the pediatrician there at the time (the amazing Dr. Lori Rust!!) said she would give it to him anyway. They are such a great group. She was one of the 2 doctors there who came to the funeral home. It was awesome to have 2 docs and the dental hygienist come to the visitation just because they saw it in the paper! Max got the "snort up the nose" version (Flumist), so it was relatively painless. Then he went back to his class for nap time and I went on my way.

HALLOWEEN- I went to Davey's class party, as one of the 3 room moms. We had fun and I was in charge of the craft. We made eyeball ornaments out of glass ball ornaments, felt and a red Sharpie (for the veins in the bloodshot eyes). They seemed to be a hit! After the party, Davey and I came home and we met my mom and dad. Mom and Dad and Davey planted over 150 bulbs! So in the spring, when I have tulips, hyacinths, daffodils and other flowers, it will be thanks to my parents' hard work on Halloween! A little later, we collected Max (if we had gone right away, he would have missed most of their party, they partied after nap time). We all got ready to go to the Chitwoods' party and trick or treating in the 'Hood. Needless to say, Halloween lacked a little something this year, but I am glad we did not have to go trick or treat on the Oncology floor of a hospital.

ST. LOUIS AND ILLINOIS- We went on the trip to St. Louis that David and I had been planning since Spring, 2007. Davey had gotten interested in the Gateway Arch and really wanted to see it. About 1 1/2 hours from St. Louis is my dad's hometown, so it was logical to visit my grandparents on the same trip. In Aug., 2007, when we planned to make this trip, and attend Grandpa's 90th birthday celebration, both David and Grandpa were in the hospital. SO we did not make it. So, we decided to make the trip in July, 2008. Again, David was in the hospital. Davey would get excited about the trip when we would start talking about it again, only to be bummed when it didn't happen. I have now done my best to not put things off that involve making memories with and for my boys. This is why, even though I always said I would not take my kids out of school for a trip (we would plan around school breaks), Davey ended up missing 2 days of school. I was off on Mon. and Tues., so it seemed like the right time to go. Originally, Davey had Tuesday off, too, but after the power outage, they added Election Day back onto the calendar. After receiving the go-ahead from Davey's teacher (and her laughing, "Jennifer, he will be more than fine!") we went ahead with our plans. We left early Saturday and stopped in Evansville, IN for breakfast and made it to SL by 12:30. Our hotel was the Hyatt across from the Arch. I highly recommend it!! Our first stop was the Arch itself. We saw a movie about Lewis and Clark- very well done. Informative, educational and entertaining. Then up in the Pod to the top of the Arch. Very cool! The Pods are quite cozy! I don't recommend it if you are claustrophobic! After the Arch, we went to the Budweiser brewery to see the Clydesdales (Max is still talking about one horse named Thomas who pooped. I admit, big horse= big poop, but little boys are fascinated with excrement, aren't they??) and our free beer sample. Then to the Hill (St Louis' Italian neighborhood) for Italian grocery and a great Italian meal. My mom found me a bottle if wine. The label says "Mommy's Time Out", hmmm... so try and potentially needed some quiet Sunday evening, if such a thing exists. After the dinner, we DID make a trip to Ted Drewes for custard concretes. They are on the old Route 66 and have been around forever. Yum!! Sunday morning, we arose and went to Mass at the Cathedral. Beautiful mosaics everywhere!! After church, we were off to Trader Joe's. I had never been, but now I know what the hype is! Then, off to lunch at the Schlafly Tap Room (delicious fish and chips!!) and then to City Museum to partake in the art, circus/ magic show and gargantuan jungle gym! Amazing! Whew! THEN it was time to load people into the van and head for Illinois. We arrived in time to have pizza with a couple of my aunts and chat a little with them and my Grandparents before heading to the motel for baths and bedtime. Monday, we had only planned to drive to Springfield to see the Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum. The displays in the museum are truly inspired. Amazing use of film and technology! We each chose a souvenir from the gift shop. Then we headed back to Grandma and Grandpa's house to get ready to go have the chicken dinner at the American Legion. After more family visiting time, I rounded folks up so the buy could get in bed. The trip home was uneventful and we were so glad to get home to our stuff and our house.

BACK TO ROUTINE- We all went back to our school routine fairly smoothly. We have reached the point where we need to get back to doing a lot of the upkeep and cooking. I mowed the grass myself this afternoon and both Tues. and Thurs. this week, I have' will be back to doing dinner. Thank goodness for the meals YUM brought in June and July. Well, the Ambien is kicking in! Take care and enjoy your friends and loved ones! They are the mirrors in our lives into which we should look once in a while to get an honest feel for our lives.

Curiosity

2008-10-28T23:28:00.003-04:00

By the way. I would love to find out who all is following the blog. Send and email to d2albright@gmail.com and let me know your name and city. For example, who is in Shelbyville, KY? Or Alton, IL? Noblesville, IN? Cabot, AR? I know who some of you are, but not everyone. I would be curious to see who is out there thinking of and perhaps praying for us.

Counseling- Both Professional and Not

2008-10-28T22:53:00.006-04:00

Some things happened in the past 5 days that have made me think long and hard about what grief and grieving are "supposed" to look like and how a "grieving widow" is supposed to behave. This weekend, I have had a number of conversations regarding that subject and taken a great deal of time to explore these questions. I talked to my mom, my grandmother (a widow of 20 plus years), and several friends to gather their input on the subject. I have concluded that there is absolutely NO timeline nor protocol for grief behavior. If something or someone in your life provides comport and helps you heal (and does not cause harm to you), then that is a good thing to have in your life. I have many people in my life that help each day to be better than it would be without them. I am so blessed by those people and they are angels in my life and the lives of my boys.

We got the pumpkins (5 of them) carved or decorated on Saturday evening. Then I fell apart. I was extremely sad and lonely. I can truly see how people can get addicted to and dependent on alcohol to dull the pain! I can see how people engage in destructive behavior to fill the void. I am grateful to the people who supported me that night and enabled me to work through the pain and anger I felt.

Well, the professional verdict is in. Davey and I had an intake session yesterday afternoon with a counselor from Hospice. After talking to us for about 90 minutes, she proclaimed our support network (both family and friends) to be quite enviable and able to make professional counseling unnecessary at this time. She said there is nothing counseling could provide that we are not already getting from family, friends and coworkers. Her only recommendation was to make sure I went to consult with my physician given my new circumstances. She seems to have given Davey food for thought. She asked us to make a list of things that are different now. Davey said to me this afternoon that he had thought of more things that are different now. We will be going to a couple group activities that Hospice is offering over the holiday season.

I had a nice time last night at my book group dinner. We went to a nice restaurant and I really enjoy these ladies! The boys got to go to Sonic and hang out with 2 grownups who really care about them. You can never have too many people around you who care about you. We are blessed with so many of those people! It has become very clear who the people are who are on your side and who support you!

"Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend's counsel that comes from the heart."
Proverbs 27: 9

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:80

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Fall Festival

2008-10-24T22:28:00.002-04:00

Well, the day began with a little drama. After my shower, I was getting ready and there was a flash of lightning, a clap of thunder and the lights went out. So, I woke the boys up (by flashlight), we ate breakfast (cereal, not the "Craisin cereal I had promised, by candlelight), I finished getting dressed and tried to do hair and makeup without a hairdryer or lights, and off we went. I did have to get some assistance with the garage door opener. I called my next door neighbor, no answer, and then called Ryan to ask for help. He advised me (I am learning things I need to know in cases like this... hard to get the car out of the garage without opening the door and now I can do that without power). I got the boys to school a little earlier than is typical (amazing what happens when there is no tv to distract!!).

Tonight, we went to the St. Margaret Mary Fall Festival. What a crazy zoo, I must say! We did the inflatables, some games, the chili supper and silent auction. Ryan and Logan met us over there and hung out. We saw lots of classmates of Davey's and friends. We bid on a class basket (a large selection that Davey took a shine to). After several hours there, we decided it was time to head home. Davey and Max played a bit while I did some computer troubleshooting (due to the power failure, the modem needed to be reset with Bellsouth and the password changed). Once the computer was working again, I read bedtime stories to both boys (so sweet to read to both of them at once, just like`I always imagined).

Enjoy the Halloween madness and hug your little goblins!!!

The Little Things

2008-10-23T23:04:00.002-04:00

I will make this brief, since it is definitely bedtime! I so appreciate the little things people continue to do for me/us. We had yummy chicken noodle soup, strawberries (the boys' fave), rolls and rice krispie treats tonight, courtesy of a friend in the moms' group. Also, after a call to my friend/neighbor a couple doors down, I have oats with which to make the requested "Craisin cereal" (oatmeal with brown sugar and Craisins in it) for Max. It is his favorite! He asked if he could have it in the morning, and thanks to Ryan, he can have his "Craisin cereal".

We have plans to go to the SMM Haunted Harvest Festival tomorrow night. Tonight, Ryan said he had heard there were some community things going on we could check out. We are carving pumpkins with him and his son (almost 2) on Sunday. Apparently I needed to bring my pumpkins inside to prevent having "frozen guts" when we carve. Hadn't thought about that. So, 3 pumpkins for carving are now in my entryway.

Have a spectacular and blessed Fall Weekend

Birthday

2008-10-22T21:49:00.002-04:00

Well, we did just fine on Monday, as it turned out. I tried to go about my day as any Monday. After I left with the boys, David's mom and dad left in the Subaru, (I couldn't watch them drive away in David's car)and they headed to Texas. I went to work. Later, I picked Davey up from school (I went into the parking lot the wrong way for dismissal, just was on autopilot, I guess, and so I parked and walked over top where the kids are dismissed and waited for him. As we were walking to the car, the carpool Nazi stopped us and asked, "Can I help you!?" I responded, "No, we are just walking." She told me that walkers are dismissed AFTER car riders and I need to make sure I follow the protocol in future. I felt like saying, "Look, this little boy's daddy died and we are just trying to go to our car, so LAY OFF and think about what is really important in life!", BUT, I didn't have the energy to say anything.) and we went to get Max and went home. There was a message from Bobbi telling me she and our friend Amy were getting together for snacks and margaritas (Bobbi's specialty, if you remember from previous posts, she has been known to bring a 'rita to me at my house) and would I like to bring the boys over and join them. So the boys and I went over for a little, until it was time to go to the Straubs' for the birthday party.

We arrived at the Straubs' just as 4/5 of the Hubers arrived. We enjoyed an evening of laughter, tears and wine. We enjoyed Jennifer's special stuffed squash and Rudy grilled burgers and franks. Max sang (solo) Happy Birthday before we ate the cake. The boys released balloons and Max and I said "Happy birthday, Daddy" as they floated away. I held it together pretty well, overall.... until I got the boys in bed and started truly thinking about last year (we had a surprise 35th birthday party for David and that night, I had to take him to the ER because of a high fever.) I listened to the YUM voicemail greeting I have saved (about 10 times). That is the only recording I have of him, except our wedding video, which I cannot bear to watch. I fell apart, called a couple friends on the phone for support, including Tena, of course!!

I boo hooed a lot and woke up the next morning with a little headache (from the crying, stress or wine???) and flung myself into the toughest few days with my students I have experienced in several years. I am trying to give myself the ok to enjoy people, experiences and life in general. I think David would want me/ us to do that. We have some plans this weekend that will be Halloween and Fall in nature, so we are getting into the festivities. This year, we will not be trick or treating on the Oncology floor of Baptist East, although, if David were there, we would certainly do it again!

Hope everyone has a great rest of their week!

"I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings. And He has put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many shall revere and worship and put their trust and confident reliance in the Lord." Psalm 40:1-3

Wahoo to TCU!!

2008-10-19T01:10:00.001-04:00

Trying To Stay Busy

2008-10-19T00:22:00.004-04:00

David's mom and dad arrived yesterday afternoon. I raked some leaves (the boys jumped in the piles) while the grandparents observed their grandsons. I put together a dinner that was easy, but potentially impressive (frozen breaded stuffed chicken breasts, creamed leeks, wild rice). Davey ate 2 chicken breasts and everyone else only had one. Then, the bath, books, bed routine.

Today consisted of sourdough chocolate chip pancakes and sausage, soccer game at 10 a.m., a visit to the cemetery, a picnic lunch from Wendy's at the playground, naps, more leaf raking (and a funny story to follow!), dinner, college football on tv, then bedtime routine. Sitting and working word puzzles and games with Davey is such fun! He is so good at the "Which Way USA" books (puzzles and activities to "Stretch your Brain") and he is learning history, geography and critical thinking, too!

Going to see the newly placed grave marker was like an expected kick in the gut. My stomach was in knots from the time we left the soccer game. I was expecting to feel sad, down, etc., but I stepped out of the van, sat next to David and began weeping, sobbing, (choose your own synonym for crying), etc. We had to leave after not too long because Davey needed to use the restroom.

Speaking of restrooms, if you have been following the toilet trepidations here at our house, you will know that Max flushed a hockey puck-shaped toy down the toilet in the powder room. I think I have discovered where he got the idea to flush things (other than being 2 and kids seem to do this at 2). He commented to me Thursday when I picked up a prescription at Walgreens, "Mommy, what is that?" "Medicine," I replied. "Are you going to flush it?" he inquires. Hmmmm, I think. He watched me flush 8 large bottles of one of David's meds and about 8 other medications down the toilet about 6 weeks ago. Hmmm....

Now for the funny story for today. I ran out of leaf/ lawn debris bags before I had finished collecting the leaves this afternoon, so I called some neighbors. I left a message for Ryan, the guy a couple doors down who has a 2 year old boy Max loves to play with (unfortunately, Logan spends half his time here and half with his mom). Ryan did not answer, so I ended up leaving the boys here with their grandparents in charge and going to Home Depot to get bags (I also got a shepherd's hook to hang a basket, wind chime or wreath at the cemetery). When I returned, Ryan was in his front yard mowing his lawn. He told me "I called you back!" and asked me where I had been. I replied, "Home Depot to get bags." He said, "Davey answered the phone and I asked if his mommy was home. He said no. I asked if anyone was there with him and he said, yeah, Max is here." I am glad he trusted that I am a good mommy and that I left my children supervised and did not call Child Protective Services!!!

Tomorrow is a day of Mass, lunch out (courtesy of Grandpa), naps for those who are interested, portraits of the boys (perhaps to be used for Christmas card enclosures), a little walk or playing outside, dinner and collapse for the night (I plan to watch "Desperate Housewives", actually).

Monday, we have stuffed squash and birthday cake with some friends so we can still celebrate David's birthday. He would have been 36. Please say a little prayer for us, as it will be a rough day, I imagine. I hope I do not have to be home when David's mom and dad pull out of the driveway in the Subaru. I know it needs to go; I don't need 2 cars, but I don't think I can actually watch it go. I would rather that it just not be here when we return home from school. Am I a wimp?

And, finally, a huge WAHOO!!!! for TCU's defeat of #8 BYU this week with a score of 32-7!!! I bet David had front row seats!!!

Apprehension

2008-10-15T21:55:00.002-04:00

The cemetery called earlier this week to tell me that the marker had been placed, so, in Saturday after Davey's final soccer match, we will all trek over to Calvary and visit. I would think it more appropriate to go after Mass on Sunday, but I don't see the need in driving to church, back home to pick up John and Sharon (David's parents), then to the cemetery. So, that leads us to Saturday between soccer and lunch. Then naps for any of us who want or need them. It will be a first for me to sell a car to an individual, rather than use it as a trade-in. I will be calling the county clerk's office to obtain instructions on what to do. While I am there, I will be asking about early voting. St MM is now in session on Election Day, due to the storm and related power outage.

Davey had his last soccer practice AND first chess club meeting today. I am determined to turn him into a combo of sports and brains.

I volunteered in the St. Margaret Mary cafeteria last Friday. It was actually fun to deliver ketchup, strews, forks, etc. and get to meet the kids. I had the opportunity to meet Davey's 6th grade buddy and let him know about Davey's new reality. He is a nice kid named Andrew.

Davey and I are working on a new concept for him... homework assigned Friday and due the following Thursday, We also work on birthday thank you cards nightly after Max is in bed (tonight, following this, we went into Davey's room to discover Max asleep in Davey's bed.

Max is still getting geared up for full force toilet time. I think it will require from me (like it did with Davey) about 3-4 days of being close to a toilet every hour and to be able to sit until he goes. I think Thanksgiving will be conducive to that, lots of football, food and home time. Plus the support of a Googey and an experienced aunt! He and I had a chat about what can and what cannot go in the toilet! I dearly hope that was a one and only experience I will have with snaking a toilet after a toy. Please look at our polls and answer them honestly.

And, finally, to put medical bills in perspective for those among us who don't have a need to know about medical expenses. I received the Explanation Of Benefits (EOB)for the 2 month period including July 11 to Aug. 9. This time, David was in 2 different hospitals and an ambulance trip. Even Dr. John Huber seemed a bit surprised. The insurance company paid $291,750! I think of what all that money could do!! I am glad for so many reasons that we did not prolong things unnecessarily those last few days.

May you all have many great blessings this weekend and make sure you count each and every one of them!

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.
-Psalm 46:1-2

My hand will sustain him; surely my arm will strengthen him.
-Psalm 89:21

Roller Coaster Ride

2008-10-09T22:39:00.002-04:00

Life is full of highs and lows. I try to see the highs and appreciate them. I think the lows make you appreciate the highs even more... or they can if you let yourself. "Team Incredible Dave" raised $3,561 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. If you still want to donate to our team, go to the link on the right side of the blog. That was good news received yesterday. Today has been rough, I have just been down for no one direct reason, just general melancholy, I guess. I could blame it on the economy, negative political ads, or maybe cloudy weather.

On the up side, a great plumber and truly nice guy, Steve Greene (of Greene Plumbing Services) came to work on the toilet yesterday morning. He had done work for us earlier this year. He fixed the toilet (first trying an auger and then resorting to removing the toilet and turning it upside down). He removed the hockey puck-like toy that Max flushed and then did not charge me a nickel. I highly recommend him if anyone needs a plumber!!!

Also on the positive, after trying to persuade Max to go potty before dinner (his pull-up was hardly wet) and him ardently refusing to go, he urgently said, mid-dinner, "Mommy, I need to go potty!" Not only did he pee, but he pooped, too! Yippee! (There was a part of me that wished I could celebrate with David, though, but I bet he's doing the "happy potty dance" in Heaven.

Davey's kindergarten went to Mass today at school for the first time today. He said it was good and, when given the choice between interesting and boring, he deemed it "interesting". He has been paying attention on Sunday mornings much better now that we don't take anything to do and Max goes to the nursery.

My mom and dad are arriving tomorrow afternoon to go to the zoo for their annual Halloween party, and then for Davey's soccer game Saturday morning. It will be a good weekend and keep us just busy enough to be a bit distracted from reality. Next Friday is when David's mom and dad come in. I know I need to not have the car anymore. No need to insure, tax and store a car that no one drives, but it will be really sad and weird to not have it in the garage and see it every night when we come home. I catch myself wanting to call David when I hear the traffic report if it contains anything related to the route to YUM!s offices. I guess it will be awhile before that stops. The Albrights will be leaving on David's birthday, so I think we will be taking a friend up on the offer to dinner at their house that night. I won't want to be alone that evening! Maybe I will make a cake to take and we can tell happy "David stories". Speaking of that, please keep sending Tena your own David stories. I want to have a lot to share with the boys.

Her email is worthycubed@yahoo.com

Thanks for your comments and calls and please try to appreciate the positives in your lives, no matter how small they may seem!

I Need a Vacation, I Think!

2008-10-06T21:57:00.002-04:00

After our busy weekend (Tena, the boys and I were running on Saturday from the time we left the house at 9:30 a.m. until we came home from the LTN Walk around 9:30 p.m.). The boys we all troopers! We stopped by a jewelry store that was giving away Pandora bracelets to the first 200 customers. We explained that we were on our way to my son's birthday party. They gave us a coupon so we could come back and get our bracelets. Off we went to the Rauch Planetarium. We had a good time and I think the kids enjoyed the show, especially the laser show portion of the program. Even technical difficulties and pizza being 30 minutes late didn't get us down, after all, we now truly realize how insignificant little bumps in the road really are!

Then, after cleaning up, we sped off to the soccer field for Davey's 2:00 soccer game. The two little boys fell asleep on the way there, so they slept while I played "soccer mom"- a role I enjoy more than I anticipated. After the game, which St. Margaret Mary won, although officially, they don't keep score, we went to get our bracelets, went home to change for the LTN walk and took off for Waterfront Park.

The weather was perfect, the camaraderie was great and Team Incredible Dave raised over $2500 so far for leukemia and lymphoma research. There is still opportunity to support our team using the website (http://www.active.com/donate/ltnKentucky/2277_davidswife ). We had 28 people on the team and we had a great time. I was teary (did you expect anything different?!?!?) My parents even arrived from Rome (via Chicago) before we started walking. We saw the luminary with David's name on it and we took the sign my mom sponsored ("Dave's Incredible Team") and it is now in the front yard.

Long day, but every activity was well worth it!

Sunday, after church, Davey chose to have his birthday lunch at Incredible Dave's (after being talked out of going to McDonalds). Then we came home for littler boys to get naps. We got to the cemetery before the gates closed, but my mom and dad were coming with a silk mum and they did not get in. I took it over today and sat and talked to David for a few minutes. It was nice to have something there other than the dirt. The boys and I will go out there again when David's mom and dad come in 2 weeks. Then I went to get Davey. It was a busy and hectic weekend, but now I feel this emotional let-down after everyone has gone home. I have been enjoying all the love and support and there is a part of me that is dreadfully afraid that people will tire of me and my situation and I will be alone to muddle through on my way to "normalcy".

Well, We Did It

2008-10-04T00:01:00.004-04:00

Well, folks. We have arrived at the big day. Saturday is the birthday party, the soccer game, the Walk and my mom and dad arrive home from Italy. There has been some confusion around the arrival and getting my parents from the airport. I had lined up a friend to collect them, but I did not know their arrival info. So, after some research on-line and with my cousin (my aunt is travelling with my parents until they get to Chicago), I think I have the mystery solved. They will maybe come to the waterfront or just come to the house and wait.

We have 28 people registered to walk. Tena and the boys (all three) went with me to drop off the collections that were not on-line and we got our instructions and t-shirts. I got a long sleeved "Bright Lights" shirt for raising more than $1000. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELP AND SUPPORT!! We will be eating, socializing, walking and enjoying Louisville's own "Zooperstars" tomorrow evening.

Today, Tena, Eli and I went to the St. James Court Art Show. We made some purchases, but nothing too crazy. It was a great day! Thanks to the ever wonderful Jen Straub for taking Davey for the day for zoo fun, etc. so he didn't have to endure the art fair!!

Sunday after Mass, we will be making our first journey out to the cemetery since Aug. 12 (the day of the funeral). I need to remember to wear my waterproof mascara!

In a lighter note, I am still doing battle with the powder room toilet. It drains so slowly and I keep thinking that if I just keep working at it with plungers of various types and designs, I will start working better. Nice plan, but... We even had Tena's husband on speakerphone tonight trying to explain to me how to snake the toilet. All I accomplished was getting my arm in up to my elbow and rusty toilet water spewed on the floor and part of the wall and ON ME!! Tena and I were laughing for awhile, but it was rather short lived. My hand was cold and I wasn't making any progress. So, it looks like Monday, I will call a plumber and, until then, the toilet is off limits to all residents and visitors. Of course, this comes just as I am beginning to apply myself in earnest to the efforts of potty training Max. He is doing well when we are at home (he insisted on sitting on the toilet tonight for over 30 minutes so he could get the promised (single) M & M). My father-in-law says he needs an agent to work out a bigger payoff for his efforts. He was successful, so, as with all the big stars, he received a bonus... TWO M & Ms!!! He earns a star on his chart and an M & M for each success. Davey gets one each night he gets in pajamas, brushes his teeth an is ready to read books while I get Max in bed. The boys are in a race to see who will earn 10 stars (and something from Target's Dollar Spot) first. It is a tight race!!

Time to sign off! I have a sixth birthday party to hostess, a soccer game and a charity walk tomorrow. I can just hear David telling me that I am SuperMommy!!

Peace, love and joy to you all! Good night!

Mom vs. Teacher

2008-09-29T21:51:00.002-04:00

It is hard to be a teacher and then go to your child's conference. I went to Davey's today and, of course, his teacher thinks he is "exceptional". I loved hearing that, of course. We talked about how to challenge him and also that he needs to work on not talking when he shouldn't (in the bathroom with 2 other boys, the same ones each time) and he needs to slow down and take his time so his work will be neater. I have some sad times each day, but I keep trying to focus on the good things. Every time I hug one of the boys, I tell myself I am hugging David, too. Tonight, Josie (of the Chitwood clan) came down after dinner to play and within minutes, Logan (he is nearly 2 and seems to really like my boys) and his dad, Ryan, were ringing the bell. So we all were playing in the basement. When it was time for my boys to get in the tub, everybody took off. It is nice to have neighbors who are so nice and who have kids around Davey and Max's ages. Tomorrow we are invited to a friend's house for an early celebration of Davey's birthday. Then Tena and Eli arrives and the CRAZINESS will begin! Fun, but hectic! Gotta go make a kindergarten lunch! The fun never stops!

What A Day!

2008-09-26T22:55:00.002-04:00

After yesterday at the gym getting weepy on the machines and having to stop my workout, and then being all sad when I picked Davey up, I hoped I wouldn't cry today. No such luck. I had meetings today with some folks I hadn't seen in several weeks and the talk was mostly about how long each of us were without power. I was proud of myself for handling everything alone (well, except for escaping to my mom and dad's house for 2 nights and having a neighbor remove the limbs from the gutter and hot tub). I also had my friend next door come last night and unclog the toilet for me (but I changed the filter on the furnace MYSELF!). Talk then turned to whether I had joined a support group or considered counseling. I mean, when would I fit that in!?!?!?!? So I shed more tears then. I was ok after a little cry and some laughs, thanks to these ladies I was with today.

Before going to get the boys, I went to the new oncology unit at Baptist East. It opened in mid-August, so we never were there. The nurses were so great to us, that I kind of missed them. So, I went to see them and several of our favorites were there. It looks like a hotel, except for the hospital beds. They reminded me the David will always be the first patient to go visit the new digs back in July. I don't really know what possessed me to go see them today, but I truly think it was part of the healing process, kind of like the first time you see an ex-boyfriend after you break up or when you pull a Band-Aid off, you have to do it and then it is a little easier the subsequent times.

My mom called me from Italy this afternoon. I was a little panicked when I saw it was her calling. They were just checking on me and making sure I was ok. They will be back next week. They are having a great time and tomorrow they head to the villa they are sharing with my aunt and several former classmates of my mom's and their spouses.

I managed to watch all of the 2 hour season premiere of "Grey's Anatomy" last night. Both boys were in bed by 9:00! This was rather momentous, me, who used to scorn the parents who had trouble getting their kids down at a "reasonable hour", now has had to work back to the 7:30 and 9:00 bedtimes we had in May. I enjoyed it, even though it is a medical show.

Today, I received the Explanation of Benefits for the period from July 11 to Sept. 10, 2008. This covered the last month David was alive and nearly all of that was in the hospital. The total I have to pay is lass than $500, but without insurance the total was over $291,000! More than a nice house goes for! INSANE?!?!?!? We were at the Chitwoods tonight, along with our friends and former Creeksiders, the Crosbys and the guy who bought their house, Ryan (he has a nearly 2 year old Max loves to play with). They all are a great support to me!

Well, until another night, I bid you farewell! Have a great weekend and email or comment so I know what your thoughts are on these ramblings of mine!

Single Motherhood Is...

2008-09-24T22:00:00.002-04:00

CRAZY HECTIC: I feel like I just rush from one thing to the next ALL DAY LONG! Today, we got up, ate breakfast, rushed to drop off first Max, then Davey (we were almost the last ones in carpool line, not the last, but when I commented to Davey that we might be last, he said, "That's ok, Mommy, the last shall be first and the the first will be last." - cracked me up!!), then off to work- today I rode the pre-school bus to collect eleven 3 and 4 year olds. After dropping off the kiddos, I went to the Room Parent Meeting for Davey. (that was my lunch hour well spent) There are 3 parents per class and they are the ones who coordinate the parties (Halloween, Christmas and Valentine's), arrange people to work the Fall Festival and the fish fries and help with disseminating info to the parents in each class. I signed up for the fish fry job. Then I went back to work and saw kids until our biweekly staff meeting, then collect boys, run to Wendy's for our Wednesday, pre-soccer picnic and then soccer practice. All I can say is, whew, I am glad there is only one Wednesday each week!!

FULL OF DECISIONS: I know all parents have to make lots of decisions every day, but I never realize how much I relied on having someone to discuss with and bounce ideas off of. I even feel a little jealous of divorced parents who fight and disagree over decisions for their kids. How much to invest in college savings versus regular savings, how much life insurance to buy, how to get rid of the annoying life insurance salesman that you told you were "going in another direction" and he STILL keeps calling to "offer advice", how to discipline a child when they don't do as they were told, whether to put a decal supporting your child's (parochial) school when you are an employee of the public system. Let me explain. David never thought it appropriate to have a St. Margaret Mary sticker on the vehicle that I was driving to work and parking in public school parking lots. Now, I have had Davey ask about the decals on the cars of other SMM parents and I am wondering what David would do now that Davey is inquiring about it. Please weigh in on the subject, folks!

CONSTANTLY IN SEARCH OF "BRIGHT SPOTS": I have to be on the lookout for the little happinesses in my days, not that these examples are "happy", but... For example, I received the first checks from Social Security for the boys yesterday, I have some neat moms to talk to at soccer practice, my neighbor cut down and removed 12 paper lawn bags and 9 bundles of sticks, limbs, etc. from the downed portions of the tree in the backyard, (then came back the next night and mowed the lawn!), the Moms' Group from church is continuing the meals on Tues. and Thurs. each week, Tena and Eli are arriving in one week, David's mom and dad are planning a trip here in October, my brother, sister-in-law and nephew are planning on coming to KY for Thanksgiving, and of course, I have 2 of the most awesome boys on the planet!

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

-Albert Schweitzer

[D]on't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. (New York Post, October 4, 1959)

-Leroy (Satchel) Paige

A Bit Like Homeschooling

2008-09-18T23:36:00.002-04:00

After nearly a week off from school (due to weather...not snow, like is typical with Weather Related days off, but high winds of 75+ mph), I have entertained my children in several ways that aren't typical of traditional education. I think many experts in education would be loathe to approve all of these excursions. Monday, we went to the Louisville Zoological Gardens. The zoo had done a very good job of clearing debris and preparing for visitors in less than 16 hours. It was a fun day. And it was cute to see Davey and Josie holding hands as they observed the animals. We saw an 8 ft. tiger being trained and fed horse meat. Max does a fantastic impression of the tiger "going ROAR!!"

Tuesday, we cleaned out food from the fridge and freezers to throw away and then played with the sons of my friend Ronda, who had electricity, and therefore television, internet and Wii. That afternoon, as soon as JCPS decided there would not be school on Wed., we headed to Bowling Green again, with laundry, a cooler of a few bits of salvaged food, and us.

Wednesday found us enjoying oatmeal at Googey and DadDad's and then off to Jackson's Orchard for apple cider, pumpkins, apples, and fall fun. Later, we went to the mall to help my mom find some pajamas for the trip to Italy that would be easy to hand wash and line dry on the trip. We were successful. My triumph was completing the phone interview with the Louisville Social Security office while keeping 2 boys relatively calm, corralled and quiet while in Macy's. The call went well. Lots of questions about birth dates, when we got married and where, any previous marriages, when we moved into our house, did David serve in the military, etc. All I have to do now is review the forms that will come in the mail as a result of the call, sign them and enclose a deposit slip for the bank account for direct deposit of the checks. The boys will each receive a monthly check until they graduate from high school. I receive a one time payment of $250.

Last night, we took the boys to the Ringling Brothers- Barnham and Bailey Circus, right there in Diddle Arena (Western Kentucky University's basketball stadium). We all had SO much fun, perhaps the adults having more than the kiddos! After the show, we all compared notes on our favorite act. The elephants and the tigers were highlights, but the clear fave was the clownish guy who ride a bike that keeps coming apart and getting put back together incorrectly, yet somehow functionally. At the end, he rides an approximately 4 inch high bike through a ring of fire. Large amounts of clapping coming from the under 6 set in our row!!!

Today, we went to Target to print photos dating from last February (including a business trip David took to NYC, Easter, the Pegasus Parade at WRBC, our annual trip to Mexico Beach, first day of kindergarten, picking pumpkins and the circus). Then, since St. Margaret Mary was back in session today, and I have verified electricity at our house, we came home to Lu-A-Vul. Upon our return, we were greeted with our neighbors past and present (Chitwoods and Crosbys) and shared the food the church Mom's Group has shared over the past couple days.

Tomorrow, both boys return to their typical routine (for A DAY!) and I will finish with the house and visit a local shop guaranteed to offer several wardrobe ideas previously unconsidered.

This weekend will find us working on Davey's "All About Me" project and having soccer photos. I hope we can return to a normal evening routine, so the boys are in bed before 9:00!! We will see. October is shaping up to a remarkably busy month filled with soccer, visits from family, marking birthdays (a party for one, a visit to the cemetery for the other), a couple costumes to create and continuing to attempt to create that "New Normal" that has been very elusive in September with storms and 4 day power outages. My friend Amy referred to the blackout as "pretending to return to Little House on the Prairie days"- she gets frustrated without her TV, Internet, coffee machine and air conditioning.

Again, we are thankful for neighbors who have helped with food storage, tree removal, company, information sources for school closings and reopenings. Everyone should be as lucky with their friends and neighbors. Forget Green Acres, LOUISVILLE is the place to be!!

It's Dark, So Very Dark

2008-09-14T22:33:00.003-04:00

We had a nice weekend in Bowling Green. Friday night, we attended a balloon festival. Where Max saw 17 'hoppy' balloons - that's 'hot air' balloons for the rest of us. On Saturday, my mom and I went to see the movie "The Women." I highly recommend it to all you women folk. There was only one very brave man in the theatre.

Also on Saturday, we attended an old fashioned Kentucky hoe-down at the South Union Shaker Museum. David would have enjoyed the music just like we did. We have gone to several of those over the years and David always loved listening to the music and comparing his own banjo skills.

Upon returning home, we discovered that 75 mile per hour winds had visited our house. In it's wake, we found much debris strewn across the neighborhood - including two large limbs leaning against the back of the house. Max called the visiting tree limbs a 'jungle' and hopes to play beneath them tomorrow like he did this evening. We also have no electricity. I am sitting in my lonely room on a corded phone by candlelight...we are very comfortable, though - the windows are open and there is a nice breeze. But, it's very, very dark in here.

By now you are wondering how I might be blogging without electricity. It's the blog fairy - otherwise known as Tena - via telephone in Texas. (Ike actually hit in Texas and I have the effects but Tena does not. I'm not bitter, though.)

So, had I known the extent of this storm, I would've stayed in Bowling Green. School has been cancelled until there is electricity. There are probably 110 public schools without electricity. This is the first of our bad weather days.

While we were gone, an army of people came to care for the house - inside and out. They trimmed limbs, washed the car, mopped the floors, cleaned the bathrooms, set up the new entertainment center and decorated for Halloween. Thank you so much - you did a great job!

It's a new version of 'while you were out' - except that I knew they were coming. So we've had 'extreme makeover playground edition' and now 'while you were out.' I wonder which television show will be next?

David's parents will be coming to visit in October. It just so happens that they'll be visiting over David's birthday. We'll probably go out to the cemetary for a visit.

Room Mom and Stuff

2008-09-12T07:16:00.002-04:00

Two quick things...
1. I am one of the room moms for Davey's class. They are the only ones allowed to go to the class parties... big responsibility! They "randomly choose" 3 parents per class. Yippee!!!

2. Davey has decided to join the St. Margaret Mary chess club after playing with the chess set gave David for his 30th birthday. He asked if I could teache him and I had to admit that I can't, so he has decided to join. Nerdish????

Gotta get kiddos ready for school!

That's What Friends Are For!

2008-09-10T21:14:00.003-04:00

Today's post may be a bit of a tear jerker. We went to Davey's soccer practice this evening after picking up Wendy's for a picnic at the soccer field. I got to talking to another mom and mentioned that we were going to take a trip to St. Louis in early Nov. and Davey would be missing a day of school (something I SWORE I WOULD NEVER DO!!), but since for 2 summers David and I had planned trips to SL and 2 summers he was in the hospital and we had to cancel, we were definitely going this time. She asked how my husband was now. I teared up and told her he had died a month ago. She said, "Oh, you're Jennifer Albright. I have heard about your story." (So, now I am famous??)

Another happening today was a phone call from the funeral home to tell me the death certificates had arrived from Frankfort (the capitol, for the non-Kentucky folks). A friend from work offered to go pick them up so I would not have to go to the funeral home. What a nice thing to do! So now I can file for the life insurance and social security for the boys. I spoke to a YUM Human Resources person today. They are not only continuing the health insurance for us, but are helping arrange for the vision insurance to cover the eye exams Davey and I had in July. A blessing!

The Grandparents' Day celebration at St. Margaret Mary was yesterday. My mom and dad came for it and had a great time. After it was over, instead of going straight home, they called me and asked if I would have time to meet them for lunch. We went to a place downtown called Toast and had gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato basil soup. It was a cloudy, cool day, so it was perfect for the weather.

Last night, I actually went out with a group of gals for dinner. A friend from work (I seem to have a few of those, huh? Ain't it great?!?!?) came last week to meet the boys and then last night stayed with them and feed them and got them in bed. While that was going on, her husband worked on the hole in the bathroom ceiling from the plumbing we had worked on last fall. Now I have one less hole (well, actually, no holes ) in the ceiling. He will be back to do another coat of mud this weekend. Next week, he's going to work some more. I am so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life to help me in so many ways!!

"A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope."

May you all have a wonderful weekend and hold your loved ones close!

A Very Busy Day!

2008-09-06T22:27:00.002-04:00

Well, the entertainment center was delivered Saturday morning about 9:15 (shortly before we needed to leave for Davey's soccer game- more on that later). Our friends, Cindy and Nick Zilich, had come over to supervise the delivery, since I knew I would need to leave mid-delivery. I bribed them with sourdough pancakes. They stayed and I left Max happily playing in the basement. After the game, I called to see how things were (Max and Nick made a Spiderman mask, wrist bands and cape out of the sheets of foamy stuff the furniture was wrapped in). Cindy told me the shelf with the stereo, DVD player and satellite receiver had fallen on the TV, but the TV was fine. "You can hardly tell," were Cindy's words. Apparently, the delivery men neglected to bolt the 3 components of the furniture together so the shelf would have something sturdy to rest on and the shelf itself was bowed and therefore 1/2 inch too short. So, Cherry House called me back and are coming on Monday to bolt things together properly and, I hope, bring me a non-warped shelf! It is 9 1/2 feet long, but the wall is big, so it is perfect.

The soccer game was great. Davey had fun, got to play a bit at goalie and even kept a ball from going in. They don't keep score officially, but it seems the parents do. St. Margaret Mary scored 5 and St. Michaels scored none, but "no one keeps score"- nudge, nudge. It was even a little chilly (65 degrees). I wished I had a sweatshirt. We will miss next week's game, but there are several more to come. At the end, all the parents do a tunnel for the kids to run through. That was neat and it made me miss David, but I have to think he was right there with us!

Later in the day, I received a visit from our friend who is handy with drywall. He measured and inspected and determined that the new drywall needed to be attached to a floor joist (good thinking!) so he cut away a bit more and then determined that the piece he had would be too small, so he will work more on it on Tuesday while he and his wife are babysitting the boys. The boys may learn a valuable skill!

Tonight, we were invited to some friends' for fun for kids and "adult beverages" for me. People seem to assume I need some of those! It was a good time, a nice distraction. We didn't get home until late, but the boys had fun. I just hope they aren't too grumpy when I wake them up for Mass in the morning!

I want to wish grandparents out there a happy Grandparents' Day tomorrow. My mom and dad will begin their trip to Louisville from my cousin's wedding (on the beach on the coast of North Carolina, I haven't heard whether it was all indoor or if they managed to do some outdoor).

Take care and God bless!

We Win!

2008-09-04T21:37:00.002-04:00

Our friend Cindy Carter (wife of the guy who was instrumental in getting David and I set up on our first date) decided to write a letter to Incredible Dave's "giving them a piece of her mind". They responded to her today by phone. The said that I can use the name, as long as I do not use their font or logo, lest anyone think their Dave was the one who had passed away. Sounds like a deal to me!!

I bought a perfect birthday gift for Davey today. He asked for a telescope and we saw one this past weekend at Costco. He looked through it and LOVED it! So how cool will it be for him to see it in his own house or backyard?!?

I just had a good conversation with David's dad. We talked about the boys, telescopes (he thought I chose a good one for Davey), a possible trip up here in October to see grandsons and fall foliage and he proclaimed me "terrific". Any daughter-in-law knows how fantastic it is to have the sincere approval of the parents of the one you love. I especially am grateful for their approval since I now have the awesome task of raising their grandsons alone and hope to continue to do so in the manner David would if he were here with me (I know, Davey, Daddy IS with me, but you all know what I mean!).

The entertainment center will be delivered Sat. morning, unfortunately at the same time as Davey's first soccer game, so I am attempting to get a friend to help out there. I have cleared the space in the family room, wit help from "manly men" in the neighborhood. BUT... the old one, which I planed to use in the basement, did not fit down the stairs, so it will have to go in the Creekside garage sale in 2 weeks. Bummer, but perhaps another source of income to offset the expense of the new entertainment center.

If anyone is interested in sponsoring me or our LTN walk team, or JOINING our team, please let me know! Call, email, leave a comment, or go to the sites. Thanks for your support!

Hope this finds everyone doing well. Have a great weekend!

"Friends are the family we choose ourselves."
-Edna Buchanan

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
-Anais Nin

Order Out Of Chaos

2008-09-03T22:36:00.000-04:00

I heard a quote today (on HGTV while I was on the elliptical machine at the YMCA, yes, I gave myself permission to go exercise between work and picking boys up). It was about making order out of chaos, a direct contradiction to the laws of thermodynamics. I am making is my goal to do just that. I spent a long time today calling the life insurance folks, the vision insurance company (they sent me COBRA paperwork because we had been dropped from coverage before we went to the eye doctor, but hadn't been informed of that until later), the doctor who is supposed to sign the death certificates, the funeral home, the furniture store to arrange a delivery time that doesn't conflict with Davey's first soccer game this Saturday... I felt very productive.

Mrs. Flechler (Davey's kindergarten teacher) called last night while the boys were in the shower. She shared with me that she has "plans" for Davey for his reading. He will not just be reading the pre-primers (simple books of sight words) like they typically start with. She also said she enjoys Davey's sense of humor. It is so nice to feel like other people appreciate your kids as much as you do.

We had a couple over for dinner last night so they could meet the boys. They are going to be here with them while I get to have an adult evening with my book group next week. Not only will they be entertaining my kids, but the husband knows how to drywall. This is good since the drywall lady (yes, LADY) hurt her back and now won't be able to do the work for quite a while. So the boys may learn a bit about drywall next week, too.

On Monday, we were with two families we are friends with and hung out with them for about 9 hours. It was a fun day and I even became pain free (I have had some back pain for the past week or so). The wonderful former physical therapist (mom to one of the friends we were spending the day with) did something called "strain- counter strain" with me and I can stand up after sitting for a while with no funky twinges in my back!

Work is going well. One of my schools had the copper stolen out of the A/C units that cool the preschool, so we did not have classes Tues. or Wed. All is better now that it has been repaired.
Gotta go get a kid in bed. More another night!

The Long Weekend, So Far...

2008-08-31T14:28:00.002-04:00

Well, Friday, my mom and dad came to L'ville and picked Davey up from school. They heard from Logan (the kiddo Davey knows from preschool whose mom drives Davey to school some days) and his older brother that Davey read a scripture passage on the St. Margaret Mary daily broadcast. I am so proud. Apparently, it is uncommon to have a kindergartener reading on the broadcast!

That night after dinner, we all went to bowl at Incredible Dave's. While we were there, I asked our server if a manager was available. I told her that we had been there with a very large group of people one evening nearly 3 weeks ago and the circumstances that led us to be there. I asked if I could talk to someone about using the name for our Light the Night team. She asked the owner, Dave, and came back a bit later to tell me that we could not, that it was a "trademark issue". For Heaven's sake! I am not wanting to make any money off this, just raise money for a charity!! So, we have now decided that we will not be returning to their establishment. I am not sure whether to write a letter, go back to make my feelings known to the owner, or some other method of protest. Hmmm....

We have had several invitations to have socialization over the weekend. Thank you, friends!! We are very blessed to have you! I had a great conversation today with a friend that I taught with at Hightower Elementary in Plano. We laughed, we cried, we made a pact to call each other more frequently and begin with, "I have 10 minutes, how many do you have? Five, OK, we'll talk for 5." See, often we don't call people because we don't have as much time to talk as we would LIKE to talk, but a little is better than none, and if we start with our time limit, no one's feelings are hurt and we can still keep on our bedtime, dinner or school schedule. She is so wise!!

If you have been following the TV fairy subplot in our lives, you will know that we now need a new entertainment center. I went to two stores with the boys (and my mom and dad to corral them and keep them off the furniture). I found something nice at the first place and something "so me" at the second. I went back while Max was napping (and our awesome neighbor, Jo, came over to keep watch) and put money down on the entertainment center. I NEVER finance things, so to pay this off over a year, interest free, is different for me.

Tomorrow we are going to hang out at the pool and have a cookout with several families from church who have been unbelievably supportive! Should be fun!!

Enjoy your day off tomorrow and hug your loved ones hard!!

P.S. Tena (AKA the "Blog Fairy") posted the photo of the three of us from our zoo trip in June. Thanks, T!!

I Need a Long Weekend!

2008-08-28T21:57:00.002-04:00

I know I have only been back to work for a couple weeks, but I am WORN OUT!! The boys didn't want to go to bed tonight and I am beat!

I have great classes with which to work this year, so that is a blessing.

Yesterday was a whirlwind! I got the 3 of us ready for the day, got Davey off to school, dropped Max off and went to the school I was scheduled for. A little later, I get a call from my awesome boss, asking if I was scheduled for meetings. I replied, "I don't think so." But, upon further review of my calendar, I was. So, off I went to a different school, attended a meeting, went to the resource center to make some materials for a teacher (gas is too expensive to drive back to my schools and this was a worthwhile activity), then went to our staff meeting. After that was over, I rushed to collect Max, then Davey, drove thru Wendy's (well, not DROVE THRU, but you know what I mean), drove to the soccer field and we had a picnic before Davey's practice. He had more fun than last week, which was great. After practice, we headed home for bath, stories and sleep. We were on schedule and I was reading to Max, when the phone rang. I decided that Max's bedtime stories were more important than a phone call, but Davey thought otherwise. He answered it and brought me the phone. It was my hairdresser (and friend) telling me that she was in my driveway with something for me. I expected that she had brought a little goodie bag or something. When I went to get a haircut Tuesday afternoon, I had told her that our main TV had gone kaput that morning and that I would need to be buying one soon. I was ordering one through my brother. So, she ended up bringing me a 32 inch LCD TV last night! The boys were thrilled! My mom jokes that the "TV Fairy" came to visit us.

All this reminds me of the movie "Pay It Forward". People are being so caring, generous and amazing! I feel the Spirit through my family and friends EVERY DAY!

Last thought... I did register with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society to have a team for the walk. If you want to donate, volunteer or join the team, check out the website.

http://www.active.com/donate/ltnKentucky/2277_davidswife

Enjoy a long weekend and God bless you all!!

"The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips."
-Job 8:21

Step by Step

2008-08-25T20:35:00.002-04:00

We are getting the hang of this kindergarten thing. I did drop off through the car rider line today. Davey just hopped out and went in the door, like he had been doing this forever. He prefers to buy lunch must days, but not on taco or chili day. That day, he wants a PB and J.

This morning, which was the first day of preschool for Jefferson County's Head Start and financially need-based classes, so it was a but hectic, I got a call from the St. Margaret Mary counselor. My first thought was a bit of panic, but she immediately told me that everything was fine, that Davey is "perfect". She just wanted to let me know that she and Mrs. Flechler had some thoughts that they wanted to run by me. They wanted to know how Davey seemed to be doing, since they have only known him for a week. On the way home today, I asked Davey if he missed Daddy. He said, "No, because Daddy is always with me." I asked if he wished he could talk to Daddy. Again, "No, I talk to Daddy sometimes." I asked when and he told me, "Sometimes at night." Why does my kid seem so much more together than I am!?!? Kids are amazing, aren't they? I must say, mine seems especially amazing! (Not that I am biased! Feel free to tell me how great my boys are, though!)

Speaking of great kids (here I go again, bragging on my Davey), I got a call from a friend on Saturday, telling me that there were some boys on the playground on Friday, chasing some of the girls, including her daughter. She told me that Davey told the boys to stop and that it wasn't nice. Apparently, I am raising a knight-in-shining-armour wannabe.

Lest you think I have forgotten that I have 2 boys, Max, in his own, not so quiet way, is bringing me joy, too. He cam always be counted on to make me slow down at night-night time for extended cuddles in the glider, just when I am trying to rush things. Also, this morning, for the 3rd time in 2 weeks, he was dry when waking up and actually peed in the little potty. When I said, "Daddy would be so proud!", Davey chimes in, "Daddy saw it, Mommy."

Well, those are the adventures here. I am continuing to try to get a handle on time and money management in light of our "new normal".

Wishing you all peace and love!

New role...

2008-08-21T22:51:00.004-04:00

Well, I am now full into my role as kindergarten mommy. We have been going full force since yesterday at 6:15 am. I dropped Max off, continued on to St Margaret Mary to do the first day thing. My only tears were a result of David not being there to see the event (but Davey reminded me, as he does often these days, that "Daddy sees EVERYTHING we do!") and a few over the momentiousness of the occasion. I stayed until the teacher assistant said, "You do know there is a reception for you all in the Hospitality Room..." We all know that means, "Parents move along before you start making the kids cry."

Davey was excited to go to kinder and even more excited to see me after school. We went to get ice cream after school and then off to the sporting goods store to get soccer "gear". They had a deal if you got the shin guards, socks, ball, cleats and a cinch sack, you'd save $20, I think. Davey's practice was at 6, so we had to eat early and hot foot it to the field. Practices will be Wed. evenings and the first game is on Sept. 6.

Today's school adventures began with an announcement that he didn't want to ride with Logan , then, by 5 min later, he had changed it again. I mad HIM call and ask if he could change his mind again. He rode with them and had a great time. Today, he went to the YMCA after school and re connected with a couple of pre- K friends. He did not want to leave.

At 6 tonight, I (again) left my children with the Chitwoods while I went to the New Parent Kindergarten open house. I tried not to be one of the "my child is the most brilliant kid you have seen in years"

OK, Ambien is makinh me type funkee stuff. Gotta go night night very sooooon.

This is peanut butter signing off and missing my jelly immensely.

Life as we know it

2008-08-18T20:42:00.003-04:00

Life as we have known has had to change, but we are doing ok!

Davey and I went to "Meet the Teacher" today. His teacher, Mrs. Flechler (like Fleckler), has won several Teacher of the Year awards for the Archdiocese and comes HIGHLY recommended. She is known to be very perceptive to kids' emotional needs, so that will be very good. There are several kids in the class whom we know from Vacation Bible School. One buddy of Davey's from preschool lives close by and his mom has offered to pick Davey up for school each morning as long as we need to. I am so grateful for that!!

I am going to go to work tomorrow. The Early Childhood department is having a meeting in the morning with our new Director. I think that would be the least shocking way to get back into work is with a large meeting, instead of trying to choose a school to visit. Then, Wednesday, I will drop Max off, go to Davey's first day, go to "Tea and Tissues" with the other kindergarten moms and dads, and then off to a school. That is the plan... I will have to see how it works out.

Tonight, the boys and I went to the Chitwoods' house for kids to play and spaghetti (is there any better comfort food than pasta!?!?). Now, Davey and I are watching the Olympics (our pre-bedtime routine) and then to bed we will both go!

Thank you all again, those of you that came to the funeral home, the funeral, the evening at "Incredible Dave's" and those of you that were with us in spirit! The outpouring of support has been amazing and overwhelming!

Also, please do not forget to send/email/employ a local carrier pigeon to get the stories/ memories of David to Tena . She needs them by Halloween, please.

Survivors!!

2008-08-15T11:41:00.003-04:00

As the obituary said, Davey, Max and I are the survivors, I believe in more ways than one. The hardest time is at night. I can almost pretend that things are somewhat normal until after the boys are in bed and I allow myself to slow down a bit. I want to thank everyone for the love and support through all this and I pray that it won't let up for a while. After this past week, I am now going to try to put life back together/ keep life together for the sake of me and these boys. I was always planning to do the walk and, now, we will just change the color of the balloon we will carry. I will continue to blog as I continue through this process because it seems to be therapeutic. I appreciate all of you more than I can express!

Jen (and the boys)

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future."
~Jeremiah 29:11

Light the Night

2008-08-13T08:13:00.002-04:00

Mark your calendars for the Light the Night Walk on 10/4/08.

A team is being formed to walk in memory of David and in support of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

How you can help:

Walk with us and raise funds for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
Make a monetary donation and/or raise funds for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
Pray that our team meets our financial goal and the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society continues to support people and families that have been effected as they search for better treatments and cures for blood diseases
Check this blog often for updates

In addition, you can continue to send memories of David to me at worthycubed@yahoo.com or post them here. I am making a book for Jen and the boys so they can share in some of our memories of David. I'd like to have them all gathered in the next month or so but continue to send them when you think of them. I'll be able to add pages...

Thanks to all of you who have already sent pictures or stories about David. What a special man.

Thanks, too, for your continued support of Jen, the boys and their families. Please pray for continued strength and courage as they move along this unknown road.

** Tena

An Open Invitation

2008-08-11T10:09:00.003-04:00

In order to continue celebrating our "Incredible Dave" and allow people some additional time to see Jen, the boys and the rest of the family, we would like to invite anyone who wishes to participate to visit Incredible Dave's at 5 pm on Wednesday, August 13th (9236 Westport Rd. - Rolling Hills Plaza - near the corner of Westport Rd. and Goose Creek Rd. - 502-426-4790). Their website is www.incredibledaves.com for more details on the food, fun and family atmosphere.

In addition, please send any funny stories, "David" anecdotes, pictures or anything else you would like to share to me at worthycubed@yahoo.com and include 'David' in the subject line or you may share them here as blog entries. I will compile them all into a book for the boys to read so they may continue to be able to remember David as he was with all of us and the boys will know how much their dad was appreciated for his sometimes sarcastic humor, quiet analysis, and calm (okay, not always) demeanor.

** Tena

Final arrangements for our friend David

2008-08-11T00:09:00.003-04:00

This afternoon, Jen and her dad met with the funeral director to make final plans for David. I continue to marvel at Jen's strength and resilience. They had to pick out a casket, a vault, a registration book, discuss flowers and also write the obituary. It will be in the newspaper tomorrow. (The Bowling Green News - www.bgdailynews.com and The Louisville Courier Journal - http://www.legacy.com/louisville/obituaries.asp) As a matter of fact, the Louisville one is already up...

For those of you who are wondering, here are the details:

The visitation will be 3-7 pm Tuesday, August 12th at Pearson-Ratterman Funeral Home (12900 Shelbyville Rd.) with a prayer service at 4 pm.
The funeral to celebrate David's life will be at 10 am Wednesday, August 13th at St. Margaret Mary Catholic Church (7813 Shelbyville Rd.). David will be laid to rest at Calvary Cemetary following the funeral mass.

Monetary memorials can be made to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society or to the boys' educational fund.

Psalm 91:1
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

** Tena

Peaceful

2008-08-09T23:32:00.003-04:00

I am saddened to tell you that just after 5 pm this evening, David lost his fight. His parents had arrived at his bedside - as had his sister and, along with Jen, they all said their goodbyes. They removed the intubation tube and turned off the medications. The nurse gave David Morphine and Addavan (anti-anxiety med).

Soon after, he peacefully stopped breathing.

Arrangements are still being made. Please continue to pray for peace for Jen and the boys; pray for them learn to live a life they hadn't expected and remember that they will continue to need our love and support in the times ahead.

Here's something I'll leave you with today:

"God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not to be
so he put his arms around you
and whispered, 'come to me'
with tearful eyes we watched you
and saw you pass away
although we love you dearly
we could not make you stay
a golden heart stopped beating
hard working hands laid to rest
God broke our hearts to prove to us
he only takes the best"

("goodbye prayer" by broken_dreamer)

** Tena

No change

2008-08-09T12:00:00.004-04:00

David's parents are on their way from Ft. Worth today.

Jen's brother, Chip and his wife, Sherri, and their son, JT, are also on their way by car from Waxahachie, Texas.

David remains at Jewish Hospital but has been moved to a larger, private room. He is responding to Jen when she talks to him but the ventilator and meds are keeping him alive. The doctors told Jen that within a few days (perhaps three), even the meds and the ventilator won't help.

Having heard that, last night, Jen told David that she loves him and that if/when he's ready to go, he needs to go. My heart is breaking at the thought of David losing this battle but it seems that the time is near.

Jen is continuing to be strong and courageous in this fight. The boys are doing fine so far. The family - Jen, her parents and the boys - were going to drive through some cemetaries this morning to find a nice, pretty place to lay David to rest.

Our prayers now are for David to be at peace, for Jen to know she's done everything the doctors recommended, and for everyone to continue to stay strong and committed to supporting all of them as the days grow short for David.

May the Lord Bless you, David. We miss you already.

** This is Tena, signing off.

Prayer Warriors, We Need You!

2008-08-07T22:32:00.002-04:00

Can you imagine Uncle Sam pointing at you? (No, not for the army but for being a Prayer Warrior!)

Last night, the neighborhood men assembled in the backyard at Jen and David's house. They put new timbers and new rubber mulch around the swingset. Jen described it as "Extreme Makeover, Playground Edition." They had pizza for dinner and did awesome work for Davey and Max. Thanks very much! The Albrights will enjoy the fruits of your labor!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the food, prayers, mail, calls and visits. What a blessing that Jen and the boys have been supported by so many and in so many ways. Jen's friend and former neighbor, Amy, has been with Jen all day today. She accompanied Jen to the hospital while David had some procedures - see notes below - and is still with her now. Bobbi (another neighbor/friend) is at the house with her this evening, keeping her company until her parents arrive. The City of Creekside seems to be one friendly, supportive place.

David was moved to Jewish Hospital so he could have some procedures today. He had a bronchoscopy and some 'lasering' to his tumor. There was much bleeding that they were able to cauterize. David was stable when the procedures were finished but the outlook for the future still isn't very good.

Our hope for tonight is that David is strong enough, stable enough to go back to Baptist East. So, Prayer Warriors - send those prayers!

** This is Tena again. I'm summarizing the events of the past couple of days and trying to keep everyone informed. Thank you for bearing with me as I try to get the facts straight.

I was right - it could be worse.

2008-08-05T00:41:00.002-04:00

Please begin praying – if you’re so inclined.

Since Saturday, the situation with David has gone from – “when is he coming home??” to very grim. In the middle of the night on Friday, Jen got a call from the hospital. They informed her that the staff was going to put in a trache or intubate him. But regardless, he would be heavily sedated. This is due to his high respirations and low oxygenation. (He wasn’t breathing the correct amounts of oxygen and CO2.)

Jen was able to call her wonderful neighbors, the Fantes, to come over for awhile for some moral support. Then, another call from the hospital informed Jen to go ahead and bring Davey with her when she came. Max stayed with the Fantes and Jen and Davey headed off to see David at the hospital.

Her parents were on their way from Alvaton and Beth Huber came to the hospital and stayed all day. What a blessing that they all were so supportive.

The intubation and scope occurred at bedside and then the results were shared with Jen and Beth. Jen’s parents had taken Davey home by that time. The results of these were not good. It seems that the new tumor has eaten through his esophagus and it’s causing “communication between his esophagus and his trachea.” Basically, food/saliva can go into his lungs and air can go into his stomach.

At this time, the doctors are saying that the time to recover from the pneumonia and get his body strong enough to accept another chemo treatment may be beyond what the chemo treatment can do. It may not be able to get this new tumor and it’s activity stopped because the tumor has grown so large in such a short time.

We are hopeful for a miracle but Jen has begun to have conversations with Davey about the future – ‘Daddy will be an angel. He’ll be able to see you and you can talk to him at any time.’

What a blessing those two boys are and how much they will continue to remind us of the wonderful David Albright. Jen knows that these boys will live up to the names they have been given and will serve their father’s legacy well.

** Just so you know, this is Tena – writing with Jen – via telephone, Texas to Kentucky.

Things Could Be Worse...

2008-08-01T23:26:00.002-04:00

11:45 PM- Just when I was feeling really down about all the machines David is on (OK, it is just 2, plus the feeding and IVs, but still) and feeling sorry for myself, Tena called tonight and told me about a woman who has had several miscarriages and just lost a baby at 22 weeks. It sometimes is good to be reminded that no matter how bad things seem, there is always someone whose situation seems worse. My conversation with Tena reminded me to count my many blessings!

Maybe I should back up a bit. The nurse from last night called me at 6:50 this morning to tell me that they had put David on a BiPAP machine. This is like a CPAP machine people use for sleep apnea, but air delivered through a mask can be set at one pressure for inhaling and another for exhaling. I went to see him today and it was hard to talk to him with the mask on, but we figured it out with notes, gestures, etc. He had a chest CT scan today, but I don't know what they were looking for or what they saw, at least not yet.

Tonight, the boys and I went out for Chinese food with my friend, Amy, and her 2 kids. They used to live down the street and we miss seeing them frequently. When Amy called to ask what she could do, I told her that I would like to go out, but I didn't feel up to going out with one me and two boys. After dinner, we came back here and we all played, even Josie came down to join in the fun.

12:47 AM- I just got of the phone with David's nurse tonight. They checked his blood gases to verify the O2 saturation levels. They looked good, so she was going to give him Ativan to help him get rest tonight. he also said that his blood pressure is looking good tonight. The doctors changed what they were giving him for low BP (today) and it is a milder drug. Then this evening, the dose was cut in half, so the medication may be discontinued tomorrow. I will see him tomorrow morning for a bit and then come home to get ready to go to "The Wiz" with Davey and my parents.

I am still looking a this as a bump in the road to work through and get past. In the time it takes to write a post, I often go from feeling down and full of self-pity to feeling more positive and hopeful. This blogging is rather like a diary (that other people read). Tonight, writing this kept me from disturbing the sleeping Huber family at 12:30 AM with a phone call surrounding my worries and fears over the BiPAP machine. I am sure they are glad I refrained from bugging them.

Wishing everyone a restful and blessed weekend!

Progress... Slow Progress, But Still Progress

2008-07-30T23:40:00.004-04:00

David has been in Critical Care since late Sat. night. At first, I was not "feeling the love" from the nursing staff there, but the past 2 days, he has had a nice nurse in the day and a very caring, warm nurse at night. I have actually spent more time with the night nurse, Tanya. She is half German, half Czech. She has lived here for 20 years and actually thought I was a nurse after talking to me and answering my questions on the phone late Monday night. She asked David if I was a nurse and he told her, "No, not a nurse, but Jen is so smart, she could be anything she decided to be." Wow, you know, what people say about you when you aren't there is often very insightful!

David has slept well the past couple nights (thanks to Tanya and her combination of Xanax and cough medicine). When I asked him this morning how his night was, he responded, "Restful."

I had an interesting conversation with David's sister about a few things, including her relationship with him and the boys. It was good to get some things off my chest and interesting to hear her views/feelings/etc.

My parents are still planning to come here this weekend, but David and I fear that our plan to go to "The Wiz" together for our anniversary may not pan out. My parents and I will go, and have to tell David about it. We can always celebrate 12 years of wedded bliss in other ways and on other days.

On a parenting note, does anyone have advice on how to keep a 2 1/2 year old from taking his diaper off after he has been put to bed? Max takes off his PJs and then takes off his diaper. Last night, I had to change the sheet while trying not to wake him. I am getting pretty good at putting a diaper back on without disturbing him, but usually I catch it before he has wet the bed, but not so last night! Tonight, I put it on backwards and he took off the PJ bottoms, but, so far, the diaper is still on. One wise mom suggested duct tape. I just might try it!!!

I take you to be my spouse, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

David and I think about that bold part a great deal, especially as we near our 12th anniversary. We ask for you all to pray for peace and healing and, if you are willing and able, please donate blood or platelets to your local blood bank!

Good night and God bless!

Plodding Along

2008-07-28T20:33:00.004-04:00

We had a trying day. David ended up getting a PICC line, an NG tube (to get "food" into his belly via a tube up his nose and down his esophagus) and a unit of platelets. He does have pneumonia and is being treated with several antibiotics. I talked to John Huber this evening and got some of my questions answered. The nurses in Critical Care aren't as nice and caring as the ones we are used to. I just feel like I am in the way there. Families don't seem as welcome there. Again, our friends and neighbors have come to my rescue to make it possible to attempt to live a "normal" life. Some have provided food, some have made it so I can go see David at night or during the day. Some have done ALL of these things. I am eternally grateful. I am also blessed to have my family checking on the boys and me. My mom and dad and brother and sister-in-law are awesome!! It is wonderful to know someone is concerned about me while I am focused on David and my boys!

I am also grateful for Tena who stayed up from 12:30 to 3:30 last night/ this morning talking to me about all sorts of things and nothing at all. It was like we were still in the same city. This is what sisters do, I have been told. I paid for it today, but I will sleep tonight, I promise.

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give unto you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
John 14:27

When I am afraid, I will put my trust in Thee.
Psalm 56:3