Getting Back In Touch

Just a quickie tonight. I had a very awesome phone call last night. I talked (for nearly an hour and a half) with a friend from high school (the only friend from back then I still am in contact with) and it was so great! It was like we had just talked a few months ago, not 18 years ago. She is living in Baltimore and had 3 kids. We talked about motherhood, the old days, David's last months, God, our faith, our families... It was the highlight of my week! I can't tell you how it has impacted me and lifted my spirits.

This morning, we didn't wake up until 7:15 (we need to leave the house by 7:30 if Max is dropped off first, 7:40 if Davey is dropped off first). Everyone was where they needed to be by the time they needed to be there, so it turned out ok, but we were flying!

Tomorrow is Davey's school Christmas party and I am ready with craft activities and the other 2 room moms are armed with games, goodie bags and food. The only parents allowed at the party are the room moms.

I still look forward every night to the snuggles and cuddles from my little fellows. They are the lights of my life!!

Firsts of Sorts

This past weekend had several firsts, some more major than others.

First sleepover: We all went to Josie's birthday party, at a hotel, so everyone got to swim, play cornhole (Max's favorite), play Foosball (a new passion of Davey's since attending the Y program after school with some older boys who have taught him the finer points of the game), have scavenger hunts, and dum dum daaaa... Davey spent the night away from me!! They were up until midnight, but he kept proclaiming he got "plenty of sleep".

First major "owie" for Max: Saturday morning, Max was helping make the sourdough pancakes and dropped a glass bottle of Mexican vanilla on his big toe, right after I said, "Max, don't drop this." Of course, I had been picturing trying to clean up shattered glass and vanilla, not comforting my 3 year old with a purple toenail.

First time Max told someone he needed to go potty: He will now let us know when he needs to go. Now I can't wait for "First poop in the potty"

First new sheets for the "solo" bed: I know, not a big deal, but it IS weird knowing David never slept on these sheets. They are very soft, but still in a color he would approve of... not pink and not floral.

Davey's first Santa's Workshop: He shopped for Max and for me. Again, I always thought he'd shop for 3 people, not 2.

My mom is doing well with the radiation, by all reports. Thanks to all of you who ask how she is doing. She chuckled when she told me she had gotten her tattoos. She's one of the last people who you'd ever expect to have a tattoo!

I am making plans for the kindergarten Christmas party. They will be making houses using milk cartons and graham crackers because kids really love doing that and I couldn't come up with a better idea for the amount of time we have. I did see a couple cute ideas in Family Fun magazine that I am toying with.

I still keep feeling like David will be coming home from the hospital any day now. I am not sure if I am still getting used to things or what. It has been cold and the coldest seems to be coming tonight. I imagine David being cold and lonely at the cemetery while we are warm in the house. I know that is stupid, that he doesn't feel cold OR lonely, but I can't seem to get the image out of my head sometimes, especially when my mind isn't otherwise occupied. I am just waiting for a Christmas card from someone who didn't know what happened until they received our card. I know it is bound to happen.

I guess that is about it for the moment. Only 4 more days!!

Charity

I did it! I took a bunch of pants, t-shirts, sweaters, sweatpants, etc. to a local homeless shelter when I was downtown for meetings today. My friend, Lisa drove us over there and she dropped off some things, too. It was cold and I felt good knowing there would be people who needed these things a great deal more than I did. There are some items of clothing I might NEVER be able to part with (the lounge pants/ pajama pants David practically lived in from June on, a couple pairs of shoes and the golf shirts that were his staple for work days). I am still hoping to make (or have made) another quilt using his clothes. We have one from when he had his colon resection in August, 2002.

Pottying continues to go well. I am busy doing Christmas cards (there are a few people who will receive the card and not know at first why there are only 3 names in the card. I have to include an explanation in those.)

I have ordered a trundle bed for Max's room. Bunks were just going to be too overwhelming size-wise in his smallish space. The boys are excited about sharing sometimes.

Only 6 more days of work until the break!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Three Years Old!

We had a fun weekend! Friday afternoon, Googey and DadDad came to celebrate Max's big day. We had one of Max's favorite dinners and chocolate cake with ice cream. Later, Ryan called to see what we were doing. He and Logan came down for cake and ice cream while he finished opening presents. Then, Saturday morning, we went to Derby Dinner Playhouse for breakfast and "Frosty's Magic Hat". That night, we had friends (the Straub family) over for chili and tree trimming. What fun to share that with good friends! Sunday afternoon was the birthday party, a low key event with 3 friends, playing, making pirate costumes and pizza and cake.

Max has been doing so well with the potty training. Only one accident (usually at home) each day since Thursday, and none today! Yesterday, the wet pants were at the pediatrician's office before his 3 year old check up. He managed to leave a sample in the cup for the lab, though. Apparently, about half of the 3 year olds are able to do that.

Davey lost his second tooth at the Frosty play Saturday. He now has had 2 visits from the Tooth Fairy, one the day before Thanksgiving and then this weekend. The T.F. has brought 2 different kinds of gold dollars, a Sacajawea and a John Quincy Adams. Pretty cool, to quote a certain 6 year old!

Tonight, I had the opportunity to go out with my book group, thanks to our friends, the Hancocks. They came and ate with the boys, played and got them in bed. I am so grateful to them!! Again, there are so many people who make it possible to keep life as close to normal as possible!

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
-Christopher Robin to Pooh

“Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you."
-Charlie Brown to Snoopy

A Successful Day!

Today (after last night, due to peeing on the floor, had to stop watching "Backyardagans" mid-show, go upstairs to bathe and go night-night early, making Mommy feel like the Meanest Mother On Earth) Max had a very successful day today. When I picked him up today, he was in the same clothes I dropped him off wearing! And no extra laundry to do. Yippee! He did have an accident before leaving home this morning and this evening while Mommy was distracted making dinner, but STILL... Maybe he realized he will be 3 tomorrow and better figure this out!!

On a gloomy note, my friend, Cindy, who is one of the teachers I work with, found out today that her cousin, whom she is close to, likely has lymphoma. Evil, evil disease, but they are hopeful. She will probably start chem soon. She had low blood counts, a cough and a mass showed up that is putting pressure on her lung. Sounds very familiar, unfortunately!

So, happy birthday to my little snuggle monster!! Have a great weekend!

Mothers...

It is amazing how being a mom (or a dad) can change your opinions and perspectives, huh? I was talking to the mom of one of my students about being in a restaurant where there is a kid screaming/fussing/yelling/etc. before having kids of your own versus the same experience when you are just grateful that (this time) it isn't your kid causing people to turn and stare. I think about the things I either said I wouldn't do or never occurred to me that I might need to do. Teaching (training?!?!) your child to pee in the toilet and all that is involved with that is something you don't think of much when you are planning to have a baby. You think of the sleepless nights, the spit up, the wiping their little heinies, but not so much about the strategies and anxiety that goes with potty training. I was determined this morning that Max WOULD pee in the miniature toilet in his classroom before I went on to work. So, we (the Royal We) sat for a few minutes, until he said, "I will pee-pee in 5 minutes." Then he went to play for a few minutes, then sat again. We repeated this process 3 times and he did go before I left, as I had proclaimed so boldly. I was nervous about what I would hear when I arrived to pick him up and how much laundry there would be. He had "a couple accidentals" as his teacher put it. But he was still in the clothes her was wearing when I left. She suggested that we go cold turkey and just do real underwear (thank goodness Sherri gave us 6 pairs of Elmo sports and Nemo underwear! Thanks, SIL!!!) So, tomorrow, he will be without a safety net! Yipes!!

The other "Mother" related thing is that my mom will begin radiation next Monday. The radiation oncologist predicts 5 days a week for 6 weeks. She is a great role model to me of taking this in stride and doing what needs to be done. In spite of all the chaos that has been going on in her life, Thanksgiving was great and perfect (well, except for one major and obvious absence).

There is a neighbor who has offered to come this week and put up the lights on our house. I am not really much help, since David always did it (last year, he gave instructions about where things went and the minute details to get it as he wanted). It may be different this year, but that might just be ok, maybe even a good thing.

Max is homing in on the big third birthday. He likes to tell anyone who will listen that he is having 3 friends at his party, and who the "chosen ones" are. Davey has his last chess club meeting tomorrow, so he will be hitting up any available individual to play against. Davey lives for "Mommy-Davey time" after Max is settled in for the night. Sometimes we play a game (chess, checkers, Battleship, etc.) or read or do homework or watch a show (last night, it was "Shrek the Halls" and "The Grinch"). I think is is very important for each of them to get a little time with me by themselves. Tough to do, but every kid, even with 2 parents, needs some time where it is just them and their parents- special time where they are the only focus. I see too many kids who will do anything to get their parents' attention and feel like they have someone to listen to them. Parents should be that person for their kids, otherwise the kid will find someone else who will listen and THAT is where trouble can begin.

OK, enough with the parenting lecture. I will retire my soapbox for the night and go to bed. I wish everyone a peaceful and happy Advent.

The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering. ~Benjamin Spock, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care

In bringing up children, spend on them half as much money and twice as much time. ~Author Unknown

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. ~John Wilmot

PottyTime!

We had a wonderful super-long weekend. We headed to Mom and Dad's Tuesday and Chip and Sherri and J.T. were already there. We began the toileting on Wed. morning. Every hour and a half, I took Max to sit on the toilet (either the little one or the full size one), not always entirely willingly. He did pretty well, overall. I got tired of doing laundry, but the plastic pants and cloth training pants are the way to go, in my opinion. We ventured out to see horses at a small farm, and there was pottying, followed by M&Ms, went to do a little shopping, again there was pottying, and we went to church on Thursday and Sunday... we get good at finding the restrooms wherever we went.

On other activities not related to the restroom, we all went to see "Bolt" in 3D. I think everyone enjoyed it, even my dad, who is not much of a movie-goer. I got some shopping done online for both boys. Food was delicious, of course, and we all got to have a choice of pie that appealed to us (pecan, pumpkin, apple-cranberry or chocolate).

The boys really enjoyed seeing their cousin! The boys laughed together, played, ran (even when told REPEATEDLY to NOT run inside), jumped on the beds (another no-no)... generally did all those things cousins are supposed to do. I love that they get to spend time together even though there's 13 hours between us. Family MUST be a priority, or things like this often do not happen.

Next on the schedule is getting ready for Max's 3rd birthday on Friday. Treats for his class, a small party (3 friends when you turn 3 is the rule at our house) and celebrating with Googey and DadDad.

Max and Davey were excited to be back at school today. Max was not as successful today as he had been before. At home, I told him he had to go potty before dinner, and success!! But, tomorrow is another day! I hope it is a potty-filled (and diaper-free!) day!