A Milestone

Well, as of Monday, we will have survived 6 months since David died. The boys and I are doing well, I believe. I still expect David to walk through the door some nights while I am making dinner. I wish I could get his advice on things around the house or with the boys, but I only can guess about what he would say. I feel bad that I haven't gone out to the cemetery more than I have. I have been busy and it isn't close to where I usually drive, but is is something I feel like I should be doing more often, it is just so hard to go alone. I am not sure what to do. I guess it would get easier if I went more frequently. (pardon the interruption, I had to get a tissue...) I imagine I miss him more than anyone, I am not sure how people who didn't see him every day, like I did, have done with losing him, but I know my family misses him greatly.

It was a little humorous, and a little sad, to have my doctor tell me she knew that telling me to rest as much as possible to recover from this pinched sciatic nerve was a bit unrealistic. She has known us since Davey was nearly one, so she is well aware of the circumstances. I will have an MRI (my first) next Monday.

The good news about the pain and discomfort I have been feeling in my left leg is that the steroids seem to have helped and now the PT is ready to start working on me. Also, the work to be done on the van will be done on Tuesday, so I can go get a car wash to truly rinse away the remaining salt that the winter storm left behind.

I have an appointment to get the van worked on (to replace the trim on the liftgate where I tried to back into the garage while it was up... you know to save time instead of closing it, backing in and reopening the back... not one of my most brilliant moments!) and I have arranged a ride to get to work and back to pick it up. But, now Davey's conference is in the middle of the time when I will be without a car. Hmm... as my mom said, I have tomorrow to figure that out. Speaking of Davey's conference, I still am torn about whether I want to see him challenged more academically or whether it is more important for him to feel part of the cohesive unit of his class. He says to his teacher "no thanks" when she offers more difficult work to do in reading and math. He wants to do what everyone else is doing.

I have been looking into new backyard swingsets/ playsets since ours got destroyed in the ice storm 2 weeks ago. It is toast, maybe good for firewood, but little else. It seems ToysRUs has some on sale now, but they are still at least $800. I hesitate to buy something that I haven't seen, just a picture on the computer or in the advert.

I am reading The Shack for my bookgroup. It is a book that my mom had recommended to me about a year ago, but I had shied away from due to its topic. I am enjoying it (when I can stay awake... but I am staying off the muscle relaxers at the suggestion of my PT and using only Aleve, so I should be able to read more at a sitting, now). It is making me think about my questioning of God's plan and why God "lets" bad things happen.

Tomorrow, I will be thinking (even more than usual) about David and about the many lives he touched. I just keep hoping the boys will have some memories of him. Davey seems to and Max just keeps saying "night night, sleep tight, turn off the light" when we blow kisses to Daddy at bedtime. I don't remember David saying that, but perhaps it was part of the Daddy- Max bedtime ritual? I hope those of you who knew David will share your favorite memories of him with me so I can share them with Davey and Max in the years to come. Tena is still planning to compile memories of David into a book for the boys. Please send them to her at: worthycubed@yahoo.com.

Thanks and have a fantastic week!