Mom vs. Teacher

It is hard to be a teacher and then go to your child's conference. I went to Davey's today and, of course, his teacher thinks he is "exceptional". I loved hearing that, of course. We talked about how to challenge him and also that he needs to work on not talking when he shouldn't (in the bathroom with 2 other boys, the same ones each time) and he needs to slow down and take his time so his work will be neater. I have some sad times each day, but I keep trying to focus on the good things. Every time I hug one of the boys, I tell myself I am hugging David, too. Tonight, Josie (of the Chitwood clan) came down after dinner to play and within minutes, Logan (he is nearly 2 and seems to really like my boys) and his dad, Ryan, were ringing the bell. So we all were playing in the basement. When it was time for my boys to get in the tub, everybody took off. It is nice to have neighbors who are so nice and who have kids around Davey and Max's ages. Tomorrow we are invited to a friend's house for an early celebration of Davey's birthday. Then Tena and Eli arrives and the CRAZINESS will begin! Fun, but hectic! Gotta go make a kindergarten lunch! The fun never stops!

What A Day!

After yesterday at the gym getting weepy on the machines and having to stop my workout, and then being all sad when I picked Davey up, I hoped I wouldn't cry today. No such luck. I had meetings today with some folks I hadn't seen in several weeks and the talk was mostly about how long each of us were without power. I was proud of myself for handling everything alone (well, except for escaping to my mom and dad's house for 2 nights and having a neighbor remove the limbs from the gutter and hot tub). I also had my friend next door come last night and unclog the toilet for me (but I changed the filter on the furnace MYSELF!). Talk then turned to whether I had joined a support group or considered counseling. I mean, when would I fit that in!?!?!?!? So I shed more tears then. I was ok after a little cry and some laughs, thanks to these ladies I was with today.

Before going to get the boys, I went to the new oncology unit at Baptist East. It opened in mid-August, so we never were there. The nurses were so great to us, that I kind of missed them. So, I went to see them and several of our favorites were there. It looks like a hotel, except for the hospital beds. They reminded me the David will always be the first patient to go visit the new digs back in July. I don't really know what possessed me to go see them today, but I truly think it was part of the healing process, kind of like the first time you see an ex-boyfriend after you break up or when you pull a Band-Aid off, you have to do it and then it is a little easier the subsequent times.

My mom called me from Italy this afternoon. I was a little panicked when I saw it was her calling. They were just checking on me and making sure I was ok. They will be back next week. They are having a great time and tomorrow they head to the villa they are sharing with my aunt and several former classmates of my mom's and their spouses.

I managed to watch all of the 2 hour season premiere of "Grey's Anatomy" last night. Both boys were in bed by 9:00! This was rather momentous, me, who used to scorn the parents who had trouble getting their kids down at a "reasonable hour", now has had to work back to the 7:30 and 9:00 bedtimes we had in May. I enjoyed it, even though it is a medical show.

Today, I received the Explanation of Benefits for the period from July 11 to Sept. 10, 2008. This covered the last month David was alive and nearly all of that was in the hospital. The total I have to pay is lass than $500, but without insurance the total was over $291,000! More than a nice house goes for! INSANE?!?!?!? We were at the Chitwoods tonight, along with our friends and former Creeksiders, the Crosbys and the guy who bought their house, Ryan (he has a nearly 2 year old Max loves to play with). They all are a great support to me!

Well, until another night, I bid you farewell! Have a great weekend and email or comment so I know what your thoughts are on these ramblings of mine!

Single Motherhood Is...

CRAZY HECTIC: I feel like I just rush from one thing to the next ALL DAY LONG! Today, we got up, ate breakfast, rushed to drop off first Max, then Davey (we were almost the last ones in carpool line, not the last, but when I commented to Davey that we might be last, he said, "That's ok, Mommy, the last shall be first and the the first will be last." - cracked me up!!), then off to work- today I rode the pre-school bus to collect eleven 3 and 4 year olds. After dropping off the kiddos, I went to the Room Parent Meeting for Davey. (that was my lunch hour well spent) There are 3 parents per class and they are the ones who coordinate the parties (Halloween, Christmas and Valentine's), arrange people to work the Fall Festival and the fish fries and help with disseminating info to the parents in each class. I signed up for the fish fry job. Then I went back to work and saw kids until our biweekly staff meeting, then collect boys, run to Wendy's for our Wednesday, pre-soccer picnic and then soccer practice. All I can say is, whew, I am glad there is only one Wednesday each week!!

FULL OF DECISIONS: I know all parents have to make lots of decisions every day, but I never realize how much I relied on having someone to discuss with and bounce ideas off of. I even feel a little jealous of divorced parents who fight and disagree over decisions for their kids. How much to invest in college savings versus regular savings, how much life insurance to buy, how to get rid of the annoying life insurance salesman that you told you were "going in another direction" and he STILL keeps calling to "offer advice", how to discipline a child when they don't do as they were told, whether to put a decal supporting your child's (parochial) school when you are an employee of the public system. Let me explain. David never thought it appropriate to have a St. Margaret Mary sticker on the vehicle that I was driving to work and parking in public school parking lots. Now, I have had Davey ask about the decals on the cars of other SMM parents and I am wondering what David would do now that Davey is inquiring about it. Please weigh in on the subject, folks!

CONSTANTLY IN SEARCH OF "BRIGHT SPOTS": I have to be on the lookout for the little happinesses in my days, not that these examples are "happy", but... For example, I received the first checks from Social Security for the boys yesterday, I have some neat moms to talk to at soccer practice, my neighbor cut down and removed 12 paper lawn bags and 9 bundles of sticks, limbs, etc. from the downed portions of the tree in the backyard, (then came back the next night and mowed the lawn!), the Moms' Group from church is continuing the meals on Tues. and Thurs. each week, Tena and Eli are arriving in one week, David's mom and dad are planning a trip here in October, my brother, sister-in-law and nephew are planning on coming to KY for Thanksgiving, and of course, I have 2 of the most awesome boys on the planet!

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

-Albert Schweitzer

[D]on't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. (New York Post, October 4, 1959)

-Leroy (Satchel) Paige

A Bit Like Homeschooling

After nearly a week off from school (due to weather...not snow, like is typical with Weather Related days off, but high winds of 75+ mph), I have entertained my children in several ways that aren't typical of traditional education. I think many experts in education would be loathe to approve all of these excursions. Monday, we went to the Louisville Zoological Gardens. The zoo had done a very good job of clearing debris and preparing for visitors in less than 16 hours. It was a fun day. And it was cute to see Davey and Josie holding hands as they observed the animals. We saw an 8 ft. tiger being trained and fed horse meat. Max does a fantastic impression of the tiger "going ROAR!!"

Tuesday, we cleaned out food from the fridge and freezers to throw away and then played with the sons of my friend Ronda, who had electricity, and therefore television, internet and Wii. That afternoon, as soon as JCPS decided there would not be school on Wed., we headed to Bowling Green again, with laundry, a cooler of a few bits of salvaged food, and us.

Wednesday found us enjoying oatmeal at Googey and DadDad's and then off to Jackson's Orchard for apple cider, pumpkins, apples, and fall fun. Later, we went to the mall to help my mom find some pajamas for the trip to Italy that would be easy to hand wash and line dry on the trip. We were successful. My triumph was completing the phone interview with the Louisville Social Security office while keeping 2 boys relatively calm, corralled and quiet while in Macy's. The call went well. Lots of questions about birth dates, when we got married and where, any previous marriages, when we moved into our house, did David serve in the military, etc. All I have to do now is review the forms that will come in the mail as a result of the call, sign them and enclose a deposit slip for the bank account for direct deposit of the checks. The boys will each receive a monthly check until they graduate from high school. I receive a one time payment of $250.

Last night, we took the boys to the Ringling Brothers- Barnham and Bailey Circus, right there in Diddle Arena (Western Kentucky University's basketball stadium). We all had SO much fun, perhaps the adults having more than the kiddos! After the show, we all compared notes on our favorite act. The elephants and the tigers were highlights, but the clear fave was the clownish guy who ride a bike that keeps coming apart and getting put back together incorrectly, yet somehow functionally. At the end, he rides an approximately 4 inch high bike through a ring of fire. Large amounts of clapping coming from the under 6 set in our row!!!

Today, we went to Target to print photos dating from last February (including a business trip David took to NYC, Easter, the Pegasus Parade at WRBC, our annual trip to Mexico Beach, first day of kindergarten, picking pumpkins and the circus). Then, since St. Margaret Mary was back in session today, and I have verified electricity at our house, we came home to Lu-A-Vul. Upon our return, we were greeted with our neighbors past and present (Chitwoods and Crosbys) and shared the food the church Mom's Group has shared over the past couple days.

Tomorrow, both boys return to their typical routine (for A DAY!) and I will finish with the house and visit a local shop guaranteed to offer several wardrobe ideas previously unconsidered.

This weekend will find us working on Davey's "All About Me" project and having soccer photos. I hope we can return to a normal evening routine, so the boys are in bed before 9:00!! We will see. October is shaping up to a remarkably busy month filled with soccer, visits from family, marking birthdays (a party for one, a visit to the cemetery for the other), a couple costumes to create and continuing to attempt to create that "New Normal" that has been very elusive in September with storms and 4 day power outages. My friend Amy referred to the blackout as "pretending to return to Little House on the Prairie days"- she gets frustrated without her TV, Internet, coffee machine and air conditioning.

Again, we are thankful for neighbors who have helped with food storage, tree removal, company, information sources for school closings and reopenings. Everyone should be as lucky with their friends and neighbors. Forget Green Acres, LOUISVILLE is the place to be!!

It's Dark, So Very Dark

We had a nice weekend in Bowling Green. Friday night, we attended a balloon festival. Where Max saw 17 'hoppy' balloons - that's 'hot air' balloons for the rest of us. On Saturday, my mom and I went to see the movie "The Women." I highly recommend it to all you women folk. There was only one very brave man in the theatre.

Also on Saturday, we attended an old fashioned Kentucky hoe-down at the South Union Shaker Museum. David would have enjoyed the music just like we did. We have gone to several of those over the years and David always loved listening to the music and comparing his own banjo skills.

Upon returning home, we discovered that 75 mile per hour winds had visited our house. In it's wake, we found much debris strewn across the neighborhood - including two large limbs leaning against the back of the house. Max called the visiting tree limbs a 'jungle' and hopes to play beneath them tomorrow like he did this evening. We also have no electricity. I am sitting in my lonely room on a corded phone by candlelight...we are very comfortable, though - the windows are open and there is a nice breeze. But, it's very, very dark in here.

By now you are wondering how I might be blogging without electricity. It's the blog fairy - otherwise known as Tena - via telephone in Texas. (Ike actually hit in Texas and I have the effects but Tena does not. I'm not bitter, though.)

So, had I known the extent of this storm, I would've stayed in Bowling Green. School has been cancelled until there is electricity. There are probably 110 public schools without electricity. This is the first of our bad weather days.

While we were gone, an army of people came to care for the house - inside and out. They trimmed limbs, washed the car, mopped the floors, cleaned the bathrooms, set up the new entertainment center and decorated for Halloween. Thank you so much - you did a great job!

It's a new version of 'while you were out' - except that I knew they were coming. So we've had 'extreme makeover playground edition' and now 'while you were out.' I wonder which television show will be next?

David's parents will be coming to visit in October. It just so happens that they'll be visiting over David's birthday. We'll probably go out to the cemetary for a visit.

Room Mom and Stuff

Two quick things...
1. I am one of the room moms for Davey's class. They are the only ones allowed to go to the class parties... big responsibility! They "randomly choose" 3 parents per class. Yippee!!!

2. Davey has decided to join the St. Margaret Mary chess club after playing with the chess set gave David for his 30th birthday. He asked if I could teache him and I had to admit that I can't, so he has decided to join. Nerdish????

Gotta get kiddos ready for school!

That's What Friends Are For!

Today's post may be a bit of a tear jerker. We went to Davey's soccer practice this evening after picking up Wendy's for a picnic at the soccer field. I got to talking to another mom and mentioned that we were going to take a trip to St. Louis in early Nov. and Davey would be missing a day of school (something I SWORE I WOULD NEVER DO!!), but since for 2 summers David and I had planned trips to SL and 2 summers he was in the hospital and we had to cancel, we were definitely going this time. She asked how my husband was now. I teared up and told her he had died a month ago. She said, "Oh, you're Jennifer Albright. I have heard about your story." (So, now I am famous??)

Another happening today was a phone call from the funeral home to tell me the death certificates had arrived from Frankfort (the capitol, for the non-Kentucky folks). A friend from work offered to go pick them up so I would not have to go to the funeral home. What a nice thing to do! So now I can file for the life insurance and social security for the boys. I spoke to a YUM Human Resources person today. They are not only continuing the health insurance for us, but are helping arrange for the vision insurance to cover the eye exams Davey and I had in July. A blessing!

The Grandparents' Day celebration at St. Margaret Mary was yesterday. My mom and dad came for it and had a great time. After it was over, instead of going straight home, they called me and asked if I would have time to meet them for lunch. We went to a place downtown called Toast and had gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato basil soup. It was a cloudy, cool day, so it was perfect for the weather.

Last night, I actually went out with a group of gals for dinner. A friend from work (I seem to have a few of those, huh? Ain't it great?!?!?) came last week to meet the boys and then last night stayed with them and feed them and got them in bed. While that was going on, her husband worked on the hole in the bathroom ceiling from the plumbing we had worked on last fall. Now I have one less hole (well, actually, no holes ) in the ceiling. He will be back to do another coat of mud this weekend. Next week, he's going to work some more. I am so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life to help me in so many ways!!

"A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope."

May you all have a wonderful weekend and hold your loved ones close!

A Very Busy Day!

Well, the entertainment center was delivered Saturday morning about 9:15 (shortly before we needed to leave for Davey's soccer game- more on that later). Our friends, Cindy and Nick Zilich, had come over to supervise the delivery, since I knew I would need to leave mid-delivery. I bribed them with sourdough pancakes. They stayed and I left Max happily playing in the basement. After the game, I called to see how things were (Max and Nick made a Spiderman mask, wrist bands and cape out of the sheets of foamy stuff the furniture was wrapped in). Cindy told me the shelf with the stereo, DVD player and satellite receiver had fallen on the TV, but the TV was fine. "You can hardly tell," were Cindy's words. Apparently, the delivery men neglected to bolt the 3 components of the furniture together so the shelf would have something sturdy to rest on and the shelf itself was bowed and therefore 1/2 inch too short. So, Cherry House called me back and are coming on Monday to bolt things together properly and, I hope, bring me a non-warped shelf! It is 9 1/2 feet long, but the wall is big, so it is perfect.

The soccer game was great. Davey had fun, got to play a bit at goalie and even kept a ball from going in. They don't keep score officially, but it seems the parents do. St. Margaret Mary scored 5 and St. Michaels scored none, but "no one keeps score"- nudge, nudge. It was even a little chilly (65 degrees). I wished I had a sweatshirt. We will miss next week's game, but there are several more to come. At the end, all the parents do a tunnel for the kids to run through. That was neat and it made me miss David, but I have to think he was right there with us!

Later in the day, I received a visit from our friend who is handy with drywall. He measured and inspected and determined that the new drywall needed to be attached to a floor joist (good thinking!) so he cut away a bit more and then determined that the piece he had would be too small, so he will work more on it on Tuesday while he and his wife are babysitting the boys. The boys may learn a valuable skill!

Tonight, we were invited to some friends' for fun for kids and "adult beverages" for me. People seem to assume I need some of those! It was a good time, a nice distraction. We didn't get home until late, but the boys had fun. I just hope they aren't too grumpy when I wake them up for Mass in the morning!

I want to wish grandparents out there a happy Grandparents' Day tomorrow. My mom and dad will begin their trip to Louisville from my cousin's wedding (on the beach on the coast of North Carolina, I haven't heard whether it was all indoor or if they managed to do some outdoor).

Take care and God bless!

We Win!

Our friend Cindy Carter (wife of the guy who was instrumental in getting David and I set up on our first date) decided to write a letter to Incredible Dave's "giving them a piece of her mind". They responded to her today by phone. The said that I can use the name, as long as I do not use their font or logo, lest anyone think their Dave was the one who had passed away. Sounds like a deal to me!!

I bought a perfect birthday gift for Davey today. He asked for a telescope and we saw one this past weekend at Costco. He looked through it and LOVED it! So how cool will it be for him to see it in his own house or backyard?!?

I just had a good conversation with David's dad. We talked about the boys, telescopes (he thought I chose a good one for Davey), a possible trip up here in October to see grandsons and fall foliage and he proclaimed me "terrific". Any daughter-in-law knows how fantastic it is to have the sincere approval of the parents of the one you love. I especially am grateful for their approval since I now have the awesome task of raising their grandsons alone and hope to continue to do so in the manner David would if he were here with me (I know, Davey, Daddy IS with me, but you all know what I mean!).

The entertainment center will be delivered Sat. morning, unfortunately at the same time as Davey's first soccer game, so I am attempting to get a friend to help out there. I have cleared the space in the family room, wit help from "manly men" in the neighborhood. BUT... the old one, which I planed to use in the basement, did not fit down the stairs, so it will have to go in the Creekside garage sale in 2 weeks. Bummer, but perhaps another source of income to offset the expense of the new entertainment center.

If anyone is interested in sponsoring me or our LTN walk team, or JOINING our team, please let me know! Call, email, leave a comment, or go to the sites. Thanks for your support!

Hope this finds everyone doing well. Have a great weekend!

"Friends are the family we choose ourselves."
-Edna Buchanan

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
-Anais Nin

Order Out Of Chaos

I heard a quote today (on HGTV while I was on the elliptical machine at the YMCA, yes, I gave myself permission to go exercise between work and picking boys up). It was about making order out of chaos, a direct contradiction to the laws of thermodynamics. I am making is my goal to do just that. I spent a long time today calling the life insurance folks, the vision insurance company (they sent me COBRA paperwork because we had been dropped from coverage before we went to the eye doctor, but hadn't been informed of that until later), the doctor who is supposed to sign the death certificates, the funeral home, the furniture store to arrange a delivery time that doesn't conflict with Davey's first soccer game this Saturday... I felt very productive.

Mrs. Flechler (Davey's kindergarten teacher) called last night while the boys were in the shower. She shared with me that she has "plans" for Davey for his reading. He will not just be reading the pre-primers (simple books of sight words) like they typically start with. She also said she enjoys Davey's sense of humor. It is so nice to feel like other people appreciate your kids as much as you do.

We had a couple over for dinner last night so they could meet the boys. They are going to be here with them while I get to have an adult evening with my book group next week. Not only will they be entertaining my kids, but the husband knows how to drywall. This is good since the drywall lady (yes, LADY) hurt her back and now won't be able to do the work for quite a while. So the boys may learn a bit about drywall next week, too.

On Monday, we were with two families we are friends with and hung out with them for about 9 hours. It was a fun day and I even became pain free (I have had some back pain for the past week or so). The wonderful former physical therapist (mom to one of the friends we were spending the day with) did something called "strain- counter strain" with me and I can stand up after sitting for a while with no funky twinges in my back!

Work is going well. One of my schools had the copper stolen out of the A/C units that cool the preschool, so we did not have classes Tues. or Wed. All is better now that it has been repaired.
Gotta go get a kid in bed. More another night!