3 years ago
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Curiosity
By the way. I would love to find out who all is following the blog. Send and email to d2albright@gmail.com and let me know your name and city. For example, who is in Shelbyville, KY? Or Alton, IL? Noblesville, IN? Cabot, AR? I know who some of you are, but not everyone. I would be curious to see who is out there thinking of and perhaps praying for us.
Counseling- Both Professional and Not
Some things happened in the past 5 days that have made me think long and hard about what grief and grieving are "supposed" to look like and how a "grieving widow" is supposed to behave. This weekend, I have had a number of conversations regarding that subject and taken a great deal of time to explore these questions. I talked to my mom, my grandmother (a widow of 20 plus years), and several friends to gather their input on the subject. I have concluded that there is absolutely NO timeline nor protocol for grief behavior. If something or someone in your life provides comport and helps you heal (and does not cause harm to you), then that is a good thing to have in your life. I have many people in my life that help each day to be better than it would be without them. I am so blessed by those people and they are angels in my life and the lives of my boys.
We got the pumpkins (5 of them) carved or decorated on Saturday evening. Then I fell apart. I was extremely sad and lonely. I can truly see how people can get addicted to and dependent on alcohol to dull the pain! I can see how people engage in destructive behavior to fill the void. I am grateful to the people who supported me that night and enabled me to work through the pain and anger I felt.
Well, the professional verdict is in. Davey and I had an intake session yesterday afternoon with a counselor from Hospice. After talking to us for about 90 minutes, she proclaimed our support network (both family and friends) to be quite enviable and able to make professional counseling unnecessary at this time. She said there is nothing counseling could provide that we are not already getting from family, friends and coworkers. Her only recommendation was to make sure I went to consult with my physician given my new circumstances. She seems to have given Davey food for thought. She asked us to make a list of things that are different now. Davey said to me this afternoon that he had thought of more things that are different now. We will be going to a couple group activities that Hospice is offering over the holiday season.
I had a nice time last night at my book group dinner. We went to a nice restaurant and I really enjoy these ladies! The boys got to go to Sonic and hang out with 2 grownups who really care about them. You can never have too many people around you who care about you. We are blessed with so many of those people! It has become very clear who the people are who are on your side and who support you!
"Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend's counsel that comes from the heart."
Proverbs 27: 9
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:80
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
We got the pumpkins (5 of them) carved or decorated on Saturday evening. Then I fell apart. I was extremely sad and lonely. I can truly see how people can get addicted to and dependent on alcohol to dull the pain! I can see how people engage in destructive behavior to fill the void. I am grateful to the people who supported me that night and enabled me to work through the pain and anger I felt.
Well, the professional verdict is in. Davey and I had an intake session yesterday afternoon with a counselor from Hospice. After talking to us for about 90 minutes, she proclaimed our support network (both family and friends) to be quite enviable and able to make professional counseling unnecessary at this time. She said there is nothing counseling could provide that we are not already getting from family, friends and coworkers. Her only recommendation was to make sure I went to consult with my physician given my new circumstances. She seems to have given Davey food for thought. She asked us to make a list of things that are different now. Davey said to me this afternoon that he had thought of more things that are different now. We will be going to a couple group activities that Hospice is offering over the holiday season.
I had a nice time last night at my book group dinner. We went to a nice restaurant and I really enjoy these ladies! The boys got to go to Sonic and hang out with 2 grownups who really care about them. You can never have too many people around you who care about you. We are blessed with so many of those people! It has become very clear who the people are who are on your side and who support you!
"Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend's counsel that comes from the heart."
Proverbs 27: 9
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:80
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Friday, October 24, 2008
Fall Festival
Well, the day began with a little drama. After my shower, I was getting ready and there was a flash of lightning, a clap of thunder and the lights went out. So, I woke the boys up (by flashlight), we ate breakfast (cereal, not the "Craisin cereal I had promised, by candlelight), I finished getting dressed and tried to do hair and makeup without a hairdryer or lights, and off we went. I did have to get some assistance with the garage door opener. I called my next door neighbor, no answer, and then called Ryan to ask for help. He advised me (I am learning things I need to know in cases like this... hard to get the car out of the garage without opening the door and now I can do that without power). I got the boys to school a little earlier than is typical (amazing what happens when there is no tv to distract!!).
Tonight, we went to the St. Margaret Mary Fall Festival. What a crazy zoo, I must say! We did the inflatables, some games, the chili supper and silent auction. Ryan and Logan met us over there and hung out. We saw lots of classmates of Davey's and friends. We bid on a class basket (a large selection that Davey took a shine to). After several hours there, we decided it was time to head home. Davey and Max played a bit while I did some computer troubleshooting (due to the power failure, the modem needed to be reset with Bellsouth and the password changed). Once the computer was working again, I read bedtime stories to both boys (so sweet to read to both of them at once, just like`I always imagined).
Enjoy the Halloween madness and hug your little goblins!!!
Tonight, we went to the St. Margaret Mary Fall Festival. What a crazy zoo, I must say! We did the inflatables, some games, the chili supper and silent auction. Ryan and Logan met us over there and hung out. We saw lots of classmates of Davey's and friends. We bid on a class basket (a large selection that Davey took a shine to). After several hours there, we decided it was time to head home. Davey and Max played a bit while I did some computer troubleshooting (due to the power failure, the modem needed to be reset with Bellsouth and the password changed). Once the computer was working again, I read bedtime stories to both boys (so sweet to read to both of them at once, just like`I always imagined).
Enjoy the Halloween madness and hug your little goblins!!!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
The Little Things
I will make this brief, since it is definitely bedtime! I so appreciate the little things people continue to do for me/us. We had yummy chicken noodle soup, strawberries (the boys' fave), rolls and rice krispie treats tonight, courtesy of a friend in the moms' group. Also, after a call to my friend/neighbor a couple doors down, I have oats with which to make the requested "Craisin cereal" (oatmeal with brown sugar and Craisins in it) for Max. It is his favorite! He asked if he could have it in the morning, and thanks to Ryan, he can have his "Craisin cereal".
We have plans to go to the SMM Haunted Harvest Festival tomorrow night. Tonight, Ryan said he had heard there were some community things going on we could check out. We are carving pumpkins with him and his son (almost 2) on Sunday. Apparently I needed to bring my pumpkins inside to prevent having "frozen guts" when we carve. Hadn't thought about that. So, 3 pumpkins for carving are now in my entryway.
Have a spectacular and blessed Fall Weekend
We have plans to go to the SMM Haunted Harvest Festival tomorrow night. Tonight, Ryan said he had heard there were some community things going on we could check out. We are carving pumpkins with him and his son (almost 2) on Sunday. Apparently I needed to bring my pumpkins inside to prevent having "frozen guts" when we carve. Hadn't thought about that. So, 3 pumpkins for carving are now in my entryway.
Have a spectacular and blessed Fall Weekend
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Birthday
Well, we did just fine on Monday, as it turned out. I tried to go about my day as any Monday. After I left with the boys, David's mom and dad left in the Subaru, (I couldn't watch them drive away in David's car)and they headed to Texas. I went to work. Later, I picked Davey up from school (I went into the parking lot the wrong way for dismissal, just was on autopilot, I guess, and so I parked and walked over top where the kids are dismissed and waited for him. As we were walking to the car, the carpool Nazi stopped us and asked, "Can I help you!?" I responded, "No, we are just walking." She told me that walkers are dismissed AFTER car riders and I need to make sure I follow the protocol in future. I felt like saying, "Look, this little boy's daddy died and we are just trying to go to our car, so LAY OFF and think about what is really important in life!", BUT, I didn't have the energy to say anything.) and we went to get Max and went home. There was a message from Bobbi telling me she and our friend Amy were getting together for snacks and margaritas (Bobbi's specialty, if you remember from previous posts, she has been known to bring a 'rita to me at my house) and would I like to bring the boys over and join them. So the boys and I went over for a little, until it was time to go to the Straubs' for the birthday party.
We arrived at the Straubs' just as 4/5 of the Hubers arrived. We enjoyed an evening of laughter, tears and wine. We enjoyed Jennifer's special stuffed squash and Rudy grilled burgers and franks. Max sang (solo) Happy Birthday before we ate the cake. The boys released balloons and Max and I said "Happy birthday, Daddy" as they floated away. I held it together pretty well, overall.... until I got the boys in bed and started truly thinking about last year (we had a surprise 35th birthday party for David and that night, I had to take him to the ER because of a high fever.) I listened to the YUM voicemail greeting I have saved (about 10 times). That is the only recording I have of him, except our wedding video, which I cannot bear to watch. I fell apart, called a couple friends on the phone for support, including Tena, of course!!
I boo hooed a lot and woke up the next morning with a little headache (from the crying, stress or wine???) and flung myself into the toughest few days with my students I have experienced in several years. I am trying to give myself the ok to enjoy people, experiences and life in general. I think David would want me/ us to do that. We have some plans this weekend that will be Halloween and Fall in nature, so we are getting into the festivities. This year, we will not be trick or treating on the Oncology floor of Baptist East, although, if David were there, we would certainly do it again!
Hope everyone has a great rest of their week!
"I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings. And He has put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many shall revere and worship and put their trust and confident reliance in the Lord." Psalm 40:1-3
We arrived at the Straubs' just as 4/5 of the Hubers arrived. We enjoyed an evening of laughter, tears and wine. We enjoyed Jennifer's special stuffed squash and Rudy grilled burgers and franks. Max sang (solo) Happy Birthday before we ate the cake. The boys released balloons and Max and I said "Happy birthday, Daddy" as they floated away. I held it together pretty well, overall.... until I got the boys in bed and started truly thinking about last year (we had a surprise 35th birthday party for David and that night, I had to take him to the ER because of a high fever.) I listened to the YUM voicemail greeting I have saved (about 10 times). That is the only recording I have of him, except our wedding video, which I cannot bear to watch. I fell apart, called a couple friends on the phone for support, including Tena, of course!!
I boo hooed a lot and woke up the next morning with a little headache (from the crying, stress or wine???) and flung myself into the toughest few days with my students I have experienced in several years. I am trying to give myself the ok to enjoy people, experiences and life in general. I think David would want me/ us to do that. We have some plans this weekend that will be Halloween and Fall in nature, so we are getting into the festivities. This year, we will not be trick or treating on the Oncology floor of Baptist East, although, if David were there, we would certainly do it again!
Hope everyone has a great rest of their week!
"I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings. And He has put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many shall revere and worship and put their trust and confident reliance in the Lord." Psalm 40:1-3
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Trying To Stay Busy
David's mom and dad arrived yesterday afternoon. I raked some leaves (the boys jumped in the piles) while the grandparents observed their grandsons. I put together a dinner that was easy, but potentially impressive (frozen breaded stuffed chicken breasts, creamed leeks, wild rice). Davey ate 2 chicken breasts and everyone else only had one. Then, the bath, books, bed routine.
Today consisted of sourdough chocolate chip pancakes and sausage, soccer game at 10 a.m., a visit to the cemetery, a picnic lunch from Wendy's at the playground, naps, more leaf raking (and a funny story to follow!), dinner, college football on tv, then bedtime routine. Sitting and working word puzzles and games with Davey is such fun! He is so good at the "Which Way USA" books (puzzles and activities to "Stretch your Brain") and he is learning history, geography and critical thinking, too!
Going to see the newly placed grave marker was like an expected kick in the gut. My stomach was in knots from the time we left the soccer game. I was expecting to feel sad, down, etc., but I stepped out of the van, sat next to David and began weeping, sobbing, (choose your own synonym for crying), etc. We had to leave after not too long because Davey needed to use the restroom.
Speaking of restrooms, if you have been following the toilet trepidations here at our house, you will know that Max flushed a hockey puck-shaped toy down the toilet in the powder room. I think I have discovered where he got the idea to flush things (other than being 2 and kids seem to do this at 2). He commented to me Thursday when I picked up a prescription at Walgreens, "Mommy, what is that?" "Medicine," I replied. "Are you going to flush it?" he inquires. Hmmmm, I think. He watched me flush 8 large bottles of one of David's meds and about 8 other medications down the toilet about 6 weeks ago. Hmmm....
Now for the funny story for today. I ran out of leaf/ lawn debris bags before I had finished collecting the leaves this afternoon, so I called some neighbors. I left a message for Ryan, the guy a couple doors down who has a 2 year old boy Max loves to play with (unfortunately, Logan spends half his time here and half with his mom). Ryan did not answer, so I ended up leaving the boys here with their grandparents in charge and going to Home Depot to get bags (I also got a shepherd's hook to hang a basket, wind chime or wreath at the cemetery). When I returned, Ryan was in his front yard mowing his lawn. He told me "I called you back!" and asked me where I had been. I replied, "Home Depot to get bags." He said, "Davey answered the phone and I asked if his mommy was home. He said no. I asked if anyone was there with him and he said, yeah, Max is here." I am glad he trusted that I am a good mommy and that I left my children supervised and did not call Child Protective Services!!!
Tomorrow is a day of Mass, lunch out (courtesy of Grandpa), naps for those who are interested, portraits of the boys (perhaps to be used for Christmas card enclosures), a little walk or playing outside, dinner and collapse for the night (I plan to watch "Desperate Housewives", actually).
Monday, we have stuffed squash and birthday cake with some friends so we can still celebrate David's birthday. He would have been 36. Please say a little prayer for us, as it will be a rough day, I imagine. I hope I do not have to be home when David's mom and dad pull out of the driveway in the Subaru. I know it needs to go; I don't need 2 cars, but I don't think I can actually watch it go. I would rather that it just not be here when we return home from school. Am I a wimp?
And, finally, a huge WAHOO!!!! for TCU's defeat of #8 BYU this week with a score of 32-7!!! I bet David had front row seats!!!
Today consisted of sourdough chocolate chip pancakes and sausage, soccer game at 10 a.m., a visit to the cemetery, a picnic lunch from Wendy's at the playground, naps, more leaf raking (and a funny story to follow!), dinner, college football on tv, then bedtime routine. Sitting and working word puzzles and games with Davey is such fun! He is so good at the "Which Way USA" books (puzzles and activities to "Stretch your Brain") and he is learning history, geography and critical thinking, too!
Going to see the newly placed grave marker was like an expected kick in the gut. My stomach was in knots from the time we left the soccer game. I was expecting to feel sad, down, etc., but I stepped out of the van, sat next to David and began weeping, sobbing, (choose your own synonym for crying), etc. We had to leave after not too long because Davey needed to use the restroom.
Speaking of restrooms, if you have been following the toilet trepidations here at our house, you will know that Max flushed a hockey puck-shaped toy down the toilet in the powder room. I think I have discovered where he got the idea to flush things (other than being 2 and kids seem to do this at 2). He commented to me Thursday when I picked up a prescription at Walgreens, "Mommy, what is that?" "Medicine," I replied. "Are you going to flush it?" he inquires. Hmmmm, I think. He watched me flush 8 large bottles of one of David's meds and about 8 other medications down the toilet about 6 weeks ago. Hmmm....
Now for the funny story for today. I ran out of leaf/ lawn debris bags before I had finished collecting the leaves this afternoon, so I called some neighbors. I left a message for Ryan, the guy a couple doors down who has a 2 year old boy Max loves to play with (unfortunately, Logan spends half his time here and half with his mom). Ryan did not answer, so I ended up leaving the boys here with their grandparents in charge and going to Home Depot to get bags (I also got a shepherd's hook to hang a basket, wind chime or wreath at the cemetery). When I returned, Ryan was in his front yard mowing his lawn. He told me "I called you back!" and asked me where I had been. I replied, "Home Depot to get bags." He said, "Davey answered the phone and I asked if his mommy was home. He said no. I asked if anyone was there with him and he said, yeah, Max is here." I am glad he trusted that I am a good mommy and that I left my children supervised and did not call Child Protective Services!!!
Tomorrow is a day of Mass, lunch out (courtesy of Grandpa), naps for those who are interested, portraits of the boys (perhaps to be used for Christmas card enclosures), a little walk or playing outside, dinner and collapse for the night (I plan to watch "Desperate Housewives", actually).
Monday, we have stuffed squash and birthday cake with some friends so we can still celebrate David's birthday. He would have been 36. Please say a little prayer for us, as it will be a rough day, I imagine. I hope I do not have to be home when David's mom and dad pull out of the driveway in the Subaru. I know it needs to go; I don't need 2 cars, but I don't think I can actually watch it go. I would rather that it just not be here when we return home from school. Am I a wimp?
And, finally, a huge WAHOO!!!! for TCU's defeat of #8 BYU this week with a score of 32-7!!! I bet David had front row seats!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Apprehension
The cemetery called earlier this week to tell me that the marker had been placed, so, in Saturday after Davey's final soccer match, we will all trek over to Calvary and visit. I would think it more appropriate to go after Mass on Sunday, but I don't see the need in driving to church, back home to pick up John and Sharon (David's parents), then to the cemetery. So, that leads us to Saturday between soccer and lunch. Then naps for any of us who want or need them. It will be a first for me to sell a car to an individual, rather than use it as a trade-in. I will be calling the county clerk's office to obtain instructions on what to do. While I am there, I will be asking about early voting. St MM is now in session on Election Day, due to the storm and related power outage.
Davey had his last soccer practice AND first chess club meeting today. I am determined to turn him into a combo of sports and brains.
I volunteered in the St. Margaret Mary cafeteria last Friday. It was actually fun to deliver ketchup, strews, forks, etc. and get to meet the kids. I had the opportunity to meet Davey's 6th grade buddy and let him know about Davey's new reality. He is a nice kid named Andrew.
Davey and I are working on a new concept for him... homework assigned Friday and due the following Thursday, We also work on birthday thank you cards nightly after Max is in bed (tonight, following this, we went into Davey's room to discover Max asleep in Davey's bed.
Max is still getting geared up for full force toilet time. I think it will require from me (like it did with Davey) about 3-4 days of being close to a toilet every hour and to be able to sit until he goes. I think Thanksgiving will be conducive to that, lots of football, food and home time. Plus the support of a Googey and an experienced aunt! He and I had a chat about what can and what cannot go in the toilet! I dearly hope that was a one and only experience I will have with snaking a toilet after a toy. Please look at our polls and answer them honestly.
And, finally, to put medical bills in perspective for those among us who don't have a need to know about medical expenses. I received the Explanation Of Benefits (EOB)for the 2 month period including July 11 to Aug. 9. This time, David was in 2 different hospitals and an ambulance trip. Even Dr. John Huber seemed a bit surprised. The insurance company paid $291,750! I think of what all that money could do!! I am glad for so many reasons that we did not prolong things unnecessarily those last few days.
May you all have many great blessings this weekend and make sure you count each and every one of them!
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.
-Psalm 46:1-2
My hand will sustain him; surely my arm will strengthen him.
-Psalm 89:21
Davey had his last soccer practice AND first chess club meeting today. I am determined to turn him into a combo of sports and brains.
I volunteered in the St. Margaret Mary cafeteria last Friday. It was actually fun to deliver ketchup, strews, forks, etc. and get to meet the kids. I had the opportunity to meet Davey's 6th grade buddy and let him know about Davey's new reality. He is a nice kid named Andrew.
Davey and I are working on a new concept for him... homework assigned Friday and due the following Thursday, We also work on birthday thank you cards nightly after Max is in bed (tonight, following this, we went into Davey's room to discover Max asleep in Davey's bed.
Max is still getting geared up for full force toilet time. I think it will require from me (like it did with Davey) about 3-4 days of being close to a toilet every hour and to be able to sit until he goes. I think Thanksgiving will be conducive to that, lots of football, food and home time. Plus the support of a Googey and an experienced aunt! He and I had a chat about what can and what cannot go in the toilet! I dearly hope that was a one and only experience I will have with snaking a toilet after a toy. Please look at our polls and answer them honestly.
And, finally, to put medical bills in perspective for those among us who don't have a need to know about medical expenses. I received the Explanation Of Benefits (EOB)for the 2 month period including July 11 to Aug. 9. This time, David was in 2 different hospitals and an ambulance trip. Even Dr. John Huber seemed a bit surprised. The insurance company paid $291,750! I think of what all that money could do!! I am glad for so many reasons that we did not prolong things unnecessarily those last few days.
May you all have many great blessings this weekend and make sure you count each and every one of them!
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.
-Psalm 46:1-2
My hand will sustain him; surely my arm will strengthen him.
-Psalm 89:21
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Roller Coaster Ride
Life is full of highs and lows. I try to see the highs and appreciate them. I think the lows make you appreciate the highs even more... or they can if you let yourself. "Team Incredible Dave" raised $3,561 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. If you still want to donate to our team, go to the link on the right side of the blog. That was good news received yesterday. Today has been rough, I have just been down for no one direct reason, just general melancholy, I guess. I could blame it on the economy, negative political ads, or maybe cloudy weather.
On the up side, a great plumber and truly nice guy, Steve Greene (of Greene Plumbing Services) came to work on the toilet yesterday morning. He had done work for us earlier this year. He fixed the toilet (first trying an auger and then resorting to removing the toilet and turning it upside down). He removed the hockey puck-like toy that Max flushed and then did not charge me a nickel. I highly recommend him if anyone needs a plumber!!!
Also on the positive, after trying to persuade Max to go potty before dinner (his pull-up was hardly wet) and him ardently refusing to go, he urgently said, mid-dinner, "Mommy, I need to go potty!" Not only did he pee, but he pooped, too! Yippee! (There was a part of me that wished I could celebrate with David, though, but I bet he's doing the "happy potty dance" in Heaven.
Davey's kindergarten went to Mass today at school for the first time today. He said it was good and, when given the choice between interesting and boring, he deemed it "interesting". He has been paying attention on Sunday mornings much better now that we don't take anything to do and Max goes to the nursery.
My mom and dad are arriving tomorrow afternoon to go to the zoo for their annual Halloween party, and then for Davey's soccer game Saturday morning. It will be a good weekend and keep us just busy enough to be a bit distracted from reality. Next Friday is when David's mom and dad come in. I know I need to not have the car anymore. No need to insure, tax and store a car that no one drives, but it will be really sad and weird to not have it in the garage and see it every night when we come home. I catch myself wanting to call David when I hear the traffic report if it contains anything related to the route to YUM!s offices. I guess it will be awhile before that stops. The Albrights will be leaving on David's birthday, so I think we will be taking a friend up on the offer to dinner at their house that night. I won't want to be alone that evening! Maybe I will make a cake to take and we can tell happy "David stories". Speaking of that, please keep sending Tena your own David stories. I want to have a lot to share with the boys.
Her email is worthycubed@yahoo.com
Thanks for your comments and calls and please try to appreciate the positives in your lives, no matter how small they may seem!
On the up side, a great plumber and truly nice guy, Steve Greene (of Greene Plumbing Services) came to work on the toilet yesterday morning. He had done work for us earlier this year. He fixed the toilet (first trying an auger and then resorting to removing the toilet and turning it upside down). He removed the hockey puck-like toy that Max flushed and then did not charge me a nickel. I highly recommend him if anyone needs a plumber!!!
Also on the positive, after trying to persuade Max to go potty before dinner (his pull-up was hardly wet) and him ardently refusing to go, he urgently said, mid-dinner, "Mommy, I need to go potty!" Not only did he pee, but he pooped, too! Yippee! (There was a part of me that wished I could celebrate with David, though, but I bet he's doing the "happy potty dance" in Heaven.
Davey's kindergarten went to Mass today at school for the first time today. He said it was good and, when given the choice between interesting and boring, he deemed it "interesting". He has been paying attention on Sunday mornings much better now that we don't take anything to do and Max goes to the nursery.
My mom and dad are arriving tomorrow afternoon to go to the zoo for their annual Halloween party, and then for Davey's soccer game Saturday morning. It will be a good weekend and keep us just busy enough to be a bit distracted from reality. Next Friday is when David's mom and dad come in. I know I need to not have the car anymore. No need to insure, tax and store a car that no one drives, but it will be really sad and weird to not have it in the garage and see it every night when we come home. I catch myself wanting to call David when I hear the traffic report if it contains anything related to the route to YUM!s offices. I guess it will be awhile before that stops. The Albrights will be leaving on David's birthday, so I think we will be taking a friend up on the offer to dinner at their house that night. I won't want to be alone that evening! Maybe I will make a cake to take and we can tell happy "David stories". Speaking of that, please keep sending Tena your own David stories. I want to have a lot to share with the boys.
Her email is worthycubed@yahoo.com
Thanks for your comments and calls and please try to appreciate the positives in your lives, no matter how small they may seem!
Monday, October 6, 2008
I Need a Vacation, I Think!
After our busy weekend (Tena, the boys and I were running on Saturday from the time we left the house at 9:30 a.m. until we came home from the LTN Walk around 9:30 p.m.). The boys we all troopers! We stopped by a jewelry store that was giving away Pandora bracelets to the first 200 customers. We explained that we were on our way to my son's birthday party. They gave us a coupon so we could come back and get our bracelets. Off we went to the Rauch Planetarium. We had a good time and I think the kids enjoyed the show, especially the laser show portion of the program. Even technical difficulties and pizza being 30 minutes late didn't get us down, after all, we now truly realize how insignificant little bumps in the road really are!
Then, after cleaning up, we sped off to the soccer field for Davey's 2:00 soccer game. The two little boys fell asleep on the way there, so they slept while I played "soccer mom"- a role I enjoy more than I anticipated. After the game, which St. Margaret Mary won, although officially, they don't keep score, we went to get our bracelets, went home to change for the LTN walk and took off for Waterfront Park.
The weather was perfect, the camaraderie was great and Team Incredible Dave raised over $2500 so far for leukemia and lymphoma research. There is still opportunity to support our team using the website (http://www.active.com/donate/ltnKentucky/2277_davidswife ). We had 28 people on the team and we had a great time. I was teary (did you expect anything different?!?!?) My parents even arrived from Rome (via Chicago) before we started walking. We saw the luminary with David's name on it and we took the sign my mom sponsored ("Dave's Incredible Team") and it is now in the front yard.
Long day, but every activity was well worth it!
Sunday, after church, Davey chose to have his birthday lunch at Incredible Dave's (after being talked out of going to McDonalds). Then we came home for littler boys to get naps. We got to the cemetery before the gates closed, but my mom and dad were coming with a silk mum and they did not get in. I took it over today and sat and talked to David for a few minutes. It was nice to have something there other than the dirt. The boys and I will go out there again when David's mom and dad come in 2 weeks. Then I went to get Davey. It was a busy and hectic weekend, but now I feel this emotional let-down after everyone has gone home. I have been enjoying all the love and support and there is a part of me that is dreadfully afraid that people will tire of me and my situation and I will be alone to muddle through on my way to "normalcy".
Then, after cleaning up, we sped off to the soccer field for Davey's 2:00 soccer game. The two little boys fell asleep on the way there, so they slept while I played "soccer mom"- a role I enjoy more than I anticipated. After the game, which St. Margaret Mary won, although officially, they don't keep score, we went to get our bracelets, went home to change for the LTN walk and took off for Waterfront Park.
The weather was perfect, the camaraderie was great and Team Incredible Dave raised over $2500 so far for leukemia and lymphoma research. There is still opportunity to support our team using the website (http://www.active.com/donate/ltnKentucky/2277_davidswife ). We had 28 people on the team and we had a great time. I was teary (did you expect anything different?!?!?) My parents even arrived from Rome (via Chicago) before we started walking. We saw the luminary with David's name on it and we took the sign my mom sponsored ("Dave's Incredible Team") and it is now in the front yard.
Long day, but every activity was well worth it!
Sunday, after church, Davey chose to have his birthday lunch at Incredible Dave's (after being talked out of going to McDonalds). Then we came home for littler boys to get naps. We got to the cemetery before the gates closed, but my mom and dad were coming with a silk mum and they did not get in. I took it over today and sat and talked to David for a few minutes. It was nice to have something there other than the dirt. The boys and I will go out there again when David's mom and dad come in 2 weeks. Then I went to get Davey. It was a busy and hectic weekend, but now I feel this emotional let-down after everyone has gone home. I have been enjoying all the love and support and there is a part of me that is dreadfully afraid that people will tire of me and my situation and I will be alone to muddle through on my way to "normalcy".
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Well, We Did It
Well, folks. We have arrived at the big day. Saturday is the birthday party, the soccer game, the Walk and my mom and dad arrive home from Italy. There has been some confusion around the arrival and getting my parents from the airport. I had lined up a friend to collect them, but I did not know their arrival info. So, after some research on-line and with my cousin (my aunt is travelling with my parents until they get to Chicago), I think I have the mystery solved. They will maybe come to the waterfront or just come to the house and wait.
We have 28 people registered to walk. Tena and the boys (all three) went with me to drop off the collections that were not on-line and we got our instructions and t-shirts. I got a long sleeved "Bright Lights" shirt for raising more than $1000. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELP AND SUPPORT!! We will be eating, socializing, walking and enjoying Louisville's own "Zooperstars" tomorrow evening.
Today, Tena, Eli and I went to the St. James Court Art Show. We made some purchases, but nothing too crazy. It was a great day! Thanks to the ever wonderful Jen Straub for taking Davey for the day for zoo fun, etc. so he didn't have to endure the art fair!!
Sunday after Mass, we will be making our first journey out to the cemetery since Aug. 12 (the day of the funeral). I need to remember to wear my waterproof mascara!
In a lighter note, I am still doing battle with the powder room toilet. It drains so slowly and I keep thinking that if I just keep working at it with plungers of various types and designs, I will start working better. Nice plan, but... We even had Tena's husband on speakerphone tonight trying to explain to me how to snake the toilet. All I accomplished was getting my arm in up to my elbow and rusty toilet water spewed on the floor and part of the wall and ON ME!! Tena and I were laughing for awhile, but it was rather short lived. My hand was cold and I wasn't making any progress. So, it looks like Monday, I will call a plumber and, until then, the toilet is off limits to all residents and visitors. Of course, this comes just as I am beginning to apply myself in earnest to the efforts of potty training Max. He is doing well when we are at home (he insisted on sitting on the toilet tonight for over 30 minutes so he could get the promised (single) M & M). My father-in-law says he needs an agent to work out a bigger payoff for his efforts. He was successful, so, as with all the big stars, he received a bonus... TWO M & Ms!!! He earns a star on his chart and an M & M for each success. Davey gets one each night he gets in pajamas, brushes his teeth an is ready to read books while I get Max in bed. The boys are in a race to see who will earn 10 stars (and something from Target's Dollar Spot) first. It is a tight race!!
Time to sign off! I have a sixth birthday party to hostess, a soccer game and a charity walk tomorrow. I can just hear David telling me that I am SuperMommy!!
Peace, love and joy to you all! Good night!
We have 28 people registered to walk. Tena and the boys (all three) went with me to drop off the collections that were not on-line and we got our instructions and t-shirts. I got a long sleeved "Bright Lights" shirt for raising more than $1000. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELP AND SUPPORT!! We will be eating, socializing, walking and enjoying Louisville's own "Zooperstars" tomorrow evening.
Today, Tena, Eli and I went to the St. James Court Art Show. We made some purchases, but nothing too crazy. It was a great day! Thanks to the ever wonderful Jen Straub for taking Davey for the day for zoo fun, etc. so he didn't have to endure the art fair!!
Sunday after Mass, we will be making our first journey out to the cemetery since Aug. 12 (the day of the funeral). I need to remember to wear my waterproof mascara!
In a lighter note, I am still doing battle with the powder room toilet. It drains so slowly and I keep thinking that if I just keep working at it with plungers of various types and designs, I will start working better. Nice plan, but... We even had Tena's husband on speakerphone tonight trying to explain to me how to snake the toilet. All I accomplished was getting my arm in up to my elbow and rusty toilet water spewed on the floor and part of the wall and ON ME!! Tena and I were laughing for awhile, but it was rather short lived. My hand was cold and I wasn't making any progress. So, it looks like Monday, I will call a plumber and, until then, the toilet is off limits to all residents and visitors. Of course, this comes just as I am beginning to apply myself in earnest to the efforts of potty training Max. He is doing well when we are at home (he insisted on sitting on the toilet tonight for over 30 minutes so he could get the promised (single) M & M). My father-in-law says he needs an agent to work out a bigger payoff for his efforts. He was successful, so, as with all the big stars, he received a bonus... TWO M & Ms!!! He earns a star on his chart and an M & M for each success. Davey gets one each night he gets in pajamas, brushes his teeth an is ready to read books while I get Max in bed. The boys are in a race to see who will earn 10 stars (and something from Target's Dollar Spot) first. It is a tight race!!
Time to sign off! I have a sixth birthday party to hostess, a soccer game and a charity walk tomorrow. I can just hear David telling me that I am SuperMommy!!
Peace, love and joy to you all! Good night!
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